This is John 20 weeks, 2 days pregnant:

The Skinny on Pregnancy: Transformers

I have heard a million stories of pregnancy and birth. I thought I had seen or heard it all. But there's a few things no one really told me or talked about. And just because some of you read this that have never had a baby before, I figure it's my duty to tell you some things you may not know or read about in What to Expect When You're Expecting. Other good books I've found, however, include The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. But in none of the books did I read about this.

Stretching

Stretching during pregnancy is a phenomenon that is like no other, unless you've experienced botulism or some disease that makes you gain over 15 pounds in a matter of months. And no, it doesn't just feel like I ate too many cookies. The stretching sensation occurs in different areas of my body every week, sometimes switching daily, sometimes more uncomfortable than other times.

Even in month two, when I first found out I was pregnant, I felt the worst stretching feeling across my diaphragm area for two days. Then suddenly my diaphragm was gone. I could feel it no longer. How did my body change so quickly?

Then I felt my hips growing outward. That threw my back a little bit out of whack. Now the stretching is low, under my little bowling ball belly. It isn't painful, really. What does it feel like? Stretching. Really. Like my skin and ligaments are tight rubberbands being pulled and pulled. It's so strange, but so miraculous. I swear I feel like a Transformer.

Let's just hope my skin doesn't stay permanently stretched. Not too much.

It's a girl!

We had our ultrasound today and my instincts were correct...it's a girl! She's so cute. We saw her little fingers moving and her legs kicking and at the very end, it looked like she was sucking her thumb. Cute, cute, cute.

Green Bags

I have had so many ideas for things to blog lately. My thoughts are racing constantly and I feel mentally and physically exhausted at the end of the day. Not tired necessarily, just stretched out and heavy. I'm realizing what a strain just a little extra weight has on my legs and feet. This is why it is my goal to never weigh over 130 pounds unless pregnant. My legs simply can not take it.

John and I took our routine grocery shopping trip on Sunday morning. Both of us have been rather forgetful lately. I blame the pregnancy and John, I don't know what he blames. First, he forgot the list in the car. Then, we realized that we forgot our green bags.

Gasp. Sigh. Hit myself.

Green bags are simply the best invention by grocery stores ever. For those of you who live in wasteland and may not know of them, they are these very lightweight cloth bags that expand to an unbelievable size, accomodating a week's groceries in as little as 3-4 bags. John loves them because they make carrying groceries easier. I love them because they're easier to unpack, I don't have to deal with dozens of stupid plastic bags with ONE item in them, and I feel like I'm doing a small part to help our planet.

You can find Target's version of the green bag as well, but they are red. Very handy, let me tell you.

Anyway, we shopped without our green bags. I watched the bagger double bag all of our meat. Sigh. I watched the bagger use one bag for each box of Cheerios. Double sigh. And when we walked out of the store, the guilt and shame that tore through my body was almost unbearable. I wanted to cover my face and run to the car. Everyone was looking at our cart, I know it, thinking of how wasteful we are. Young, wasteful people who not only don't care about the future of the planet, but the future of our baby and grandchildren and great grandchildren. And I thought about my friends in New Zealand who wear hats and sunglasses and sunscreen every day, all the time because it just so happens that the hole in the ozone layer is right above the most conserving (non-third world) country on earth, probably.

So, as my debt to the planet Earth, I am telling you to invest in green bags. They are more convenient for everyone and help conserve energy and lessen waste. What more can I say?

19 weeks pregnant

We got a camera card hookup thingy. So I can post pictures now. I don't look my greatest here, but my mom was bugging me for pictures, so here you go.

I can't believe it's been so long! I seriously have not been online in about four days, which is a record for me since the year 1996.

We found a townhouse to move into! It has four bedrooms (our room, nursery, playroom, den)and a garage. Almost the whole downstairs is carpeted, which we don't like because of the stain factor, but is good for babies I guess. The kitchen is smaller and doesn't have as nice of appliances as we have now. There is a giant laundry room, though, and it's upstairs. I like stairs. I think Rosa will like the stairs, too. It's in a much better location.

Well, John is feeling neglected so I have to go.

PS: I skipped a mandatory staff meeting at work today. I'm declaring illness. Mental illness. I'm so stressed at work, I can't even tell you what they're putting me through. It's madness.

Must...invest in...more...stretchy pants.

Sorry, I can hardly breathe.

There was this lady at work last year. The whole time she was pregnant, she made a point to do her hair really nice every day, wear cute clothes, and just basically look her best. I thought, "I hope I do that when I'm pregnant."

Pshh.

I was jealous of the kids who had these stuffed animal glo-worms, made by

Playskool. Their faces lit up with a squeeze to the belly.

Here are what I believe were the first Glo Worms as well. They each came
with a sleeping bag and would glow in the dark

when charge by light.

Drew had this Bert and Ernie puzzle and this Sesame Street pop-up toy as well. We just loved these things. But I cannot find the Glo Worm Tree House. I did see a message board though where a girl claims to have one. I wish I could at least see a picture of it.

One of the saddest days of my little life

I didn't know it then, but it was at a yard sale where my mom talked me into selling my most prized possessions. My Fisher Price dollhouse was one of them. I still remember opening and shutting the door, putting the little people in and out of their little holes in the chairs, in and out, because they fit so perfectly every time, just like a little autistic child might do.

I remember the lady who bought my Fisher Price dollhouse. She seemed reluctant to take it. She knew I'd regret it someday. She looked at me and asked, "Are you sure?" at least twice. I said yes. It was five dollars in my pocket. How could I resist?

As I was looking for children's toys on ebay since Goodwill Naples is a big bunch of jerks, I decided to check out Fisher Price. All the memories came flooding back. How I loved that garage. What would it be like to have a garage? Collecting parsley at Ponderosa to serve as shrubs around my little house. Pretty much my whole life revolved around gathering little items to pair with my little house and my little people.

Then I found something I had forgotten. The little town. Again, I loved opening and shutting the doors. So perfect, such a nice pleasant sound. Maybe I really was a bit autistic. The mailbox came with little plastic letters to mail and there was a mail truck, too. Ah! Such good, good times.

I also found the little playground my cousin, Drew, had. Again, I loved the way the little people fit in the holes. But on the playground, you could spin the people out on the merry-go-round or bounce them out on the springy bouncy toys. Then they would vomit or have to go to the hospital. You could press a button to make the people go down the slide, and the little people could climb (well, bounce...no legs, no arms) the little tree stumps up to the slide. And they fit so perfectly on those little stumps.

I love toys! And I keep having the strange urge to open and shut those doors. Open and shut. Open and shut.

Pregnancy Milestone!

I bought my first pair of maternity pants lastnight, which are the first official piece of maternity clothing I've bought. I've gotten a few longer shirts to make sure my belly stays covered, but it was time to get some comfy, stretchy dress pants for work before I acquire a permanent indentation around my waist from wearing my normal size 2. It was like putting on a little piece of Heaven in the Target dressing room.

When I came out of the dressing room, John had a fabulous suprise for me! A Boppy pillow for moms, which will help me sleep a little better. Sleeping has just started to get uncomfortable. Lastnight was my first night with Boppy, and it was like a big slice of Heaven. I have been very impressed with John during this whole thing so far. He's even become slightly forgetful and clumsy...I think he's having sympathy pregnancy. :) And he pretty much does whatever I want him to do. I fall asleep, he does the dishes. I say my back hurts, he cooks dinner. It's great! Next, I think I'll ask for some new living room furniture.

A Lesson from Dr. Seuss

"A person's a person, no matter how small."

from Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss

Love this song: Letter to Me by Brad Paisley

Why do I do the things that I do?

I felt ambitious today. I decided to put my cake baking and decorating skills to the test. It all started yesterday with my Good Housekeeping magazine that randomly gets sent to me sometimes. I didn't order it, but maybe God is sending me some kind of message. Anyway, there was a good sounding cake recipe in there, and since I haven't used my skills learned in Cake Decorating 101 since last year, I wanted to give it a whirl. We are having John's brother, Mark, and his new la la la lady over to watch basketball. So I made a basketball cake. This is what it looks like:

Crap.

I did everything wrong. I frosted it when it was still warm, I used too much batter and it didn't cook correctly, the edges got burnt and broke up when I tried to trim the top, I made the frosting too runny, I used too much frosting around the edges, I didn't line the cake board correctly, and I drew the lines crooked. This is because I really, really don't care what a stupid cake looks like. As long as it tastes good. And my friends, it does taste good.

So it's a winner, just like the Jayhawks. UNLIKE Duke, who I eternally hate forever and will never pick to win another game as long as I live. I'm still ranked in the 92nd percentile or something, so that's good, and I am very happy for WVU. But I'm in it for the money, folks. Let's be honest.

The Madness has begun

Yes, it's that time of year. I have submitted my bracket and I am officially beating all the guys because as I've tried to tell them before, my woman's intuition is much better than their knowledge. And it's really all a guessing game.

As much as a I hate Duke and as much as I would have loved to see Belmont win lastnight, I was regretfully cheering for Duke as I have them going all the way to the Final Four. I sure hope they start to do better. If not, I think Mike Krzyzewski should be out of a job. John says no one would ever fire him, but I would.

Dear Starbucks, I miss you. Love, Amanda.

I saw some very famous people yesterday. I saw Heather Turco from NBC-2. She's our local news anchor and I watch her every weekday morning. She was at the Susan G. Komen Race for a Cure at Coconut Point Mall, where I walked three miles with my friends Bethany, her mom, and Betsy. It was fun. There were real high school cheerleaders cheering me on. It was kind of strange to be cheered on to walk. John ran it, though, and he did well, but he started off too fast and didn't get the time he wanted. He's not used to running such short distances.

Then we went to a conference called Transformed, which was led by the guys from Way of the Master radio and television: Kirk Cameron, Ray Comfort and Todd Friel. Kirk Cameron is so cute. He looks almost the same as he did on Growing Pains, without all that ridiculous hair.

I have a lot to do today and am procrastinating way too much. I exercised and read my Bible first thing this morning, which always motivates me, but today it didn't work. My brain is fried from a crazy week and there's nothing Starbucks can do about it.

Working Till Seven!

I am at work right now for "Report Card Pick Up Night," which was someone's invention to replace parent teacher conference nights. It's pretty retarded, but it kind of makes sense, since it's impossible to have enough translators for all teachers in one night.

PTO was selling tostadas, rice and beans in the cafeteria. You should taste this Mexican food our PTO makes. It's incredible. I didn't buy any, though, because I spent $18.00 at McDonald's today. As a reward to two students (and myself) I bought Happy Meals and milkshakes for them for lunch. It was a good time.

I haven't eaten any fast food, at least from the big three (McD's, Wendy's, Burger King), in almost a year. I broke my record for some cold fries and a flat Coke. It just figures. At least my chocolate milkshake was good. I didn't know small milkshakes cost more than $2.00. That's kind of pricey for McDonald's, isn't it?

Back to Childhood

Now that John and I are super thrifty (we were already pretty thrifty before), we planned some very cheap meals this week. Guess where I got my ideas?

I thought back to my childhood...what did my mom feed me when she and my dad had a little kid? What did my aunt Cathy fix for dinner when she and Kent had just had their first baby? And so here is our menu for the week:

Soup and Grilled Cheese
I chose the Mrs. Grass chicken noodle soup that comes in a box and probably has tons of MSG. But it was very cheap and it's one of my childhood favorites. No one makes grilled cheese like my mom. What in the world does she do to make it so good? I've never figured it out. We have to make our grilled cheese with wheat bread, which is definitely not nearly the same. But it'll do. And we don't use butter or Country Crock like she does. It's Smart Balance spread instead. We may need to eat cheap like our parents did, but we can make some healthier choices.

Spaghetti
My mom and grandmother got off really easy with this one, because it was always my favorite thing for dinner and practically the cheapest thing in the world to eat. We make it with no meat but get multigrain noodles with extra protein. Score.

Tater Tot Casserole and French Cut Green Beans
This was my favorite thing that Cathy made, and my uncle Kent would trick me into eating gallons of green beans. Since I have been pregnant, I suddenly can't stand fresh or frozen vegetables and can only muster eating vegetables from a can, which is repulsive to John and kind of makes me feel guilty now that I know how bad canned vegetables are. But, it's either canned veggies or none at all. I finally found a recipe for tator tot casserole because Cathy insists she doesn't really have a recipe. I need recipes. I can't just guess.

Totino's Pizza
Not a childhood favorite, but John's favorite cheap meal. These frozen pizzas cost $1.00. They were on sale this week for that price, but usually they're only 1.20 or something. Great deal. They taste like elephant ears with pizza toppings. Not the healthiest choice, but we're going for cheap here, folks. It may be a good idea for those of you that have starving teenage boys at home. :)

MY FAVORITE!
John hates tuna and is kind of appalled by my "Let's eat macaroni and cheese everyday for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!" attitude lately. So, for lunch this week I am eating My Favorite. That's the title. I ate it for lunch all the time when I was little. It's Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with a can of mushroom soup and a can of tuna. It's good hot or cold or lukewarm and it's good for any meal, any snack, at any time of the day or night. It's the best food in the world.

If you have cheap meal suggestions for next week, please send them my way!

Baby Erdman: Future Olympic Swimmer

I'm at week 13 now and everyone said I should be feeling better and less tired. The good news is that I do feel much better, my brain seems to be functioning again, and I have more energy, but it only happens in spurts. My back has been hurting quite a bit, but I think that's more work related than pregnancy related.

We heard the heartbeat for the first time yesterday, which was really great and a big relief because we hadn't heard it two weeks ago when we were supposed to. It sounds ridiculous, but I was starting to wonder if I imagined the whole pregnancy thing. But no, there's really a BABY in there. I can't believe it.

Another very cool thing is that our baby has essentially everything right now. Now all it has to do is grow. But it looks very much like a baby. It can open its mouth and swallow amniotic fluid (gross). It can open and shut its eyes, suck its thumb, and John is pretty sure he or she is already practicing the breaststroke and butterfly. It can even pee!

Which really is making me sad that people have abortions at this stage. Seriously. If that isn't murder, I honestly don't know what could be. It's a perfectly innocent, beautiful baby. A miracle.

John and I are looking for several ways to save even more money than we already do--beginning with our grocery list. If you guys have any tips for finding good coupons, please share. We don't know where to find them or get them. For our baby shower we might just need Publix gift cards. Publix is our grocery store. :)

I don't think a Ramen Noodle diet would be very good for a breastfeeding baby...

Mood Swings Schood Schwings

This pregnancy hormone thing is awesome.

I have, in about two weeks time, learned how to speak up about how I feel and actually, ACTUALLY speak my mind.

I may now be on the bad side of an administrator at our school, but was awarded the Employee Recognition parking spot by my principal, who appreciated me stepping up for the good of the first grade team.

I may also be on the bad side of a pastor at our church, but feel good about sticking up for my freshmen girls that I love and cherish.

And in both situations, I know I was angry for good reasons and handled it exactly as I should have (though the sobbing uncontrollably could have been left out).

Here's to you, Amanda! You're becoming more like your mother every day!

Thank you, Cathy!

Our baby now has possessions!

She or he received two things in the mail yesterday, and I took a picture to document it in their baby book once we get one. A Kansas Jayhawks onesie and Jayhawks bib! They are so adorable! John is definitely excited now.

However, I am feeling competitive and hoping that not only will our child care about the Jayhawks, but real animals as well, such as the manatee. I was on the savethemanatee.org site (because I am a faithful member of their save the manatee club) and saw that they have an cute little onesie, a manatee CD, manatee stuffed animals, and more.

Also, Target has a great Jayhawks mobile. But if you find a manatee mobile, that would be OK, too!

Baby Blues

Today I felt very successful. I got up at a semi decent hour. I made cookies, cleaned a little bit, did some laundry, went to the movies, walked around the outdoor mall, and ate a sort of normal amount of food. What I normally do on days off is stare at the wall, stare at the TV, or stare at a book, without really thinking about anything at all, just how exhausted I am and doing all that I can to prevent vomit from spewing acroos the room.

I forget to do a lot of things, can't keep track of dates, never like the same food one week to the next, and don't understand any jokes or sarcasm. I'm really kind of out of it.

And I hate everyone who criticizes the baby names we've picked out. I mean, who does that? I want to look some people in the eye and say their kids names are stupid. Just because their kids are thirteen and mine is still in the womb doesn't make any difference, does it? I'm going to rip someone a new one one of these days, I tell ya.

Happy Valentine's Day!

After four years of teaching, I have finally mastered Valentine's Day!

This year we had our party before lunch instead of after, which means I fed them donuts and sent them to lunch.

I brought my own snack, donuts, instead of leaving it up to parents, who would bring 8 dozen cupcakes. Cupcakes are the worst treat for kids. If you're a parent or going to be one, don't ever take cupcakes to your child's school. Try brownies, cookies, or donuts instead.

We spent the afternoon (40 minutes) opening up the Valentine's Day cards and shouting, "THANK YOU _______ !" across the room.

I had four former students visit me to give me gifts and hand made Valentines. :::tear, tear!:::

Maleficent

Maleficent was the evil fairy in Sleeping Beauty, and that's who I have been for the past two days. It's so bad I know it has to be hormone related, but what can I do?

What I really think I need is a nice big cup of coffee!

No Drano!

I tried a safer way of unclogging drains today. Take one cup of baking soda and pour it down the drain or garbage disposal (it freshens up disposals, too). Then, pour one cup of vinegar down the drain as well, quickly covering the drain and allowing the fizz to clean out the pipe. Easy, safe, voila!

My prenatal vitamins are big enough to eat with a knife and fork. And they're disgusting.

I LOVE JOHN!

You will never believe what John did for me lastnight!

He came home from Publix (and we never go to Publix unless it's Sunday for groceries) with the expensive, unhealthy kind of tortilla chips that I like (which he never, ever buys), and nacho cheese!

I can't wait to get home and eat some more.

I read in a book or on a website somewhere that in your first trimester you may have very vivid dreams. And boy are they vivid.

Usually dreams don't make sense after you wake up, but my dreams have been making sense and seem so real. Unfortunately, they're dreams about family members and friends being decapitated or losing other body parts or they're about my students pooping their pants. Weird.

I am now halfway through week 8 and almost to week 9. You should see the difference between week 9 and week 10. I am going to be super duper exhausted this week, because I have a lot of human making to do. This week, our baby got his or her knees! I hope they're better than my knees.

I'm having serious issues with this eating thing, because I'm on a very strict pregnancy diet with lots of calcium, protein, and iron. But all I want is bad things. And when I eat things that I don't want, I want to throw up. For example, right now I want pizza or macaroni and cheese. But I have tuna fish and broccoli. I want to curl up on the floor and cry.

For a late night snack (well, 8:00) lastnight, I made some macaroni and cheese. Because I wasn't going to fall asleep without it. Cheddar cheese is no longer helping my craving. I need hot unhealthy cheese.

Cheese Please

I'm sorry for writing about boring pregnancy things, but all I can think about is cheese. I just want things with cheese. Nachos and cheese, cheese pizza, cheese sticks, cheese burgers, cheesy fries, cheesy bread, cheese and crackers, Cheese Nips...

This has always been a craving of mine, which is how I got the name from my grandma, "little mouse." I was always getting into the refrigerator for a slice of Kraft American Cheese or of course, my favorite, shredded cheddar.

So I'm not sure if this is actually a pregnancy craving or if I just finally have an excuse for cheese, cheese, and more cheese.

Hey! Sorry for the hiatus, but you may need to give me a huge break during this first trimester. It's killer some days. I haven't been sick, just exhausted. Today was a great day. I feel fabulous, but it's Sunday and we didn't really have to do anything. However, it is 4:30 and I feel like I should be going to bed in an hour. I've been falling asleep at 8:00 most nights. And I say falling asleep, not going to bed, on purpose, because I actually do just fall asleep wherever I am at 8:00, usually on the couch.

I'm enjoying this time though, because I know my nights of 9 hours of sleep are about to end for the next 25 or so years (considering we plan on having more than just one child).

Aside from that, John and I both are just excited. I am addicted to Target.com and Babies R Us, reading reviews on the best baby products, and I actually got online half an hour ago to look up pregnancy exercises and here I am instead.

I'm really feeling good about the place we chose to have our baby. The midwife and RN at the place spent an hour and a half with me on Friday and are doing all they can now to make sure I have a healthy, uncomplicated birth. If you or anyone you know is planning on having a baby, please tell them to do their research. There's a great book called "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer and I highly recommend it.

Our hospital here in Naples has a 42% cesearean rate, which means that obviously many of those cesaereans must be unnecessary (though of course sometimes they are). With a natural birth, mothers are up and around faster, have better luck with nursing, give birth to happier babies, have lower risk of postpartum disorder, and much more. I've learned that IVs and fetal monitors are absolutely not necessary and can actually do more harm than good. Also, keeping a laboring mother from food is absolutely ridiculous. What is the reasoning behind these things?

Our culture has taken a natural process and warped it into something clinical, as if when you're pregnant you are ill, there's something wrong with you. Doctors tell women they should have a C-section because they're too small, they're too big, the baby's too large (which they can't actually know), and the baby's heart rate is too slow (which usually happens because of drugs and epidurals), etc. I wish more women would do their research, as this is such an important decision in their lives and in their child's.

Plans

In the master plan of our lives, John and I hoped to start trying for a baby in October of last year, but with an unexpected surgery, a new life got put on hold. Following the surgery, we decided not to try, actually, but not actively "not try," if you know what I mean. Well, John and I both have slightly competitive, driven natures and this suddenly did lead to trying which suddenly led me to hoping and praying desperately for a plus sign on the off brand pregnancy test, three dollars compared to the 15-30 dollar ones at Publix. I took the test wondering what my response would be, knowing it would be negative, imagining myself crying (or not caring? feeling relieved?) in a little ball on the bathroom tiles. Quickly, before the suggested time of 3 minutes was up, I saw a double line forming (I had locked John out of the bathroom). When I saw that this was actually developing into a plus sign, I put the test down and started fixing my hair, intending the wait that full three minutes just in case the lines like to appear and disappear. But when I looked again, there was definitely a plus sign, the vertical line even darker than the horizontal "test" line, as if to say, "It's true, you idiot!"

So I walked out of the bathroom with a disappointed look on my face and asked John to guess the results. With a look of pity, he said, "Negative?" And I quickly responded with a huge smile and said, "You're going to be a daddy!" John then responded with, "WHAAAT?!" And went on to say that this process was supposed to take an average of five months. But it didn't. Once again God blessed us with more than we expected, earlier than we deserved or ever thought possible.

And so now, much to some people's dismay, this blog may just become a place where I tell you all about being pregnant, which I know is a boring and sometimes disgusting thing. :)

Answers to common questions: I will be having our baby at the Naples Family Birth Center, which means I will have a midwife and a natural birth. I will stop working at the end of the school year and hope to take a full year off work. My first official appointment is on Friday, so I may have a better idea of my due date by then, but we're guessing mid to late September. Baby names we have picked out so far are John and Maryn, but are subject to change. We will find out what it is as soon as we can. And our baby room colors are blue, green, and yellow with a sort of froggy theme to it. I haven't been sick yet but feel like I have some weird indigestion almost constantly. Two pairs of my pants already do not fit. I had my first weird craving before we knew I was pregnant: scrambled eggs and fried fish (mixed together), and I always want cheese but suddenly don't like coffee or chocolate.

God's plans are so much better than our plans.

Prioritize! Be efficient!

I had such a busy week. Whenever we have parent nights at school, I am just dead. They ruin my life, I tell you. We had a "Report Card Pick Up Night" on Wednesday and then our Bible study until 10 pm on Thursday, then we had friends over for dinner lastnight, then I met friends for breakfast this morning, and today I'm meeting a high school girl for smoothies, so our house feels barely lived in lately. We have a huge pile of clean laundry that I was able to throw in and out of the washer and dryer but never had the chance to fold. Actually, now that I think about it, I should be doing that right now. Although there's not much point, considering it's all so wrinkly now.

I am completely in awe of single working mothers, or even full-time working married mothers. I really have to work on this efficiency thing. REALLY.

I bet if I just didn't get on the internet or watch TV I would get everything done just fine. What the heck is my problem?

P.S. I Love You

A few girlfriends and I just went to see this movie today, and I feel the need to write about it.



P.S. I Love You will probably teach you a lesson about your spouse or future spouse, that you should appreciate them, love them all you can, etc. The thing is, I didn't need a two hour sob fest to teach me this. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for my husband. He is every romantic movie's hero, every fairy tale's prince. I also let him know that I appreciate him so often, that if I tell him any more than I already do, he will probably go crazy.



I feel so much that I do not deserve John. I can't say I waited for him, that I waited for God to write my love story. I was coming out of a terrible "relationship" (if you can call it that), that I knew God had tried to steer me from again and again, and then came John. A handsome reward for...what? For nothing. And often I wonder if God intends to strip it all away from me. Because I didn't wait for His will to be done. It just did. I really didn't do anything to deserve a fairy tale.



So, needless to say, this movie made me feel miserable. So miserable I couldn't even talk to John afterwards without crying.


Now, I am writing this part later, on Monday, and I feel better! But I still don't recommend this movie to anyone who doesn't want to cry a lot. If you didn't appreciate the little boy dying in My Girl, then don't see this one. But if you're into that sort of thing, by all means...

Kansas Wins!

And so many people said they didn't deserve to be there. What a bunch of turkeys.

We left for Miami around 4:15 and arrived at Dolphin Stadium at 5:30. It's been rather cold down here in south Florida, so we were bundled up for the 40 degree weather, with a wind chill far below that.

What I wore: long sleeve shirt, Jayhawks t-shirt, sweater, fleece jacket, fleece hat, scarf, jeans, two pairs of socks and my warmest Doc Martens. Thin jeans because that's all I have. Red and blue ribbons in my pigtails, red and blue football shaped beads.

What I ate and drank: a giant hot dog, a huge tray of nachos and cheese, water, hot chocolate, and a few of John's fries (I'm fasting today).

What made me uncomfortable: We were surrounded by Virginia Tech fans.

What made me feel better: We were winning throughout the whole game, and none of the fans got into any arguments. Everyone was actually very civil.

What I enjoyed the most: Winning of course. But the coolest thing was coming up the stairs to our seats and seeing the football field and stadium. It was so beautiful.

In conclusion: I am officially a faithful Kansas Jayhawks fan for life, no matter what happens. In season and out of season, winning or losing, basketball, football, whatever. And John has my permission to decorate our future baby's room (if it's a boy) with everything Jayhawks.

Hey ma, look! New hair!

In response to Nathan's blog, here is the comparison between me in 1999 (my senior picture) and me in 2007. Not a big difference, but here ya go. :)

Hello from Ohio!

I've been in Ohio for two days now and boy, is it exciting. But for real, it is so nice to be able to relax and not feel the need to clean the entire house top to bottom or worry about my next meal. Mom always breaks out the food, whether I feel like cooking or not. It's quite nice.

Meanwhile, in Florida, two former girls from our youth group have become engaged! Let me tell you how weird it is to have a student of your own get engaged. I mean, I was their leader when they were 17-18, but still. Weird. Now they're just 19 and 20, but they are both more ready for marriage than many couples I've known.

Just when John and I thought we were done with weddings for a while...

Time to check registries and go dress shopping.

Also, I'm a little bit overwhelmed by Ohio State fans. I mean, we are in Ohio, but I swear there were not this many OSU fans when I left here four years ago, and it annoys me slightly that, now that they're awesome, they have all these fans. Seriously, I knew about TWO Ohio State fans my whole life, and now everyone is suddenly a die hard fan, painting their kitchen red and gray and stuff. Weird.

Stockings!`

John and I have spent the past two afternoons shopping for stocking stuffers for each other. He's going to be home soon with my presents. I am so excited. Aren't stockings almost the best thing about Christmas morning? I just love the whole concept.

Life with DVR

Since the purchase of our something something inch LCD television and a small box that is quickly becoming an idol in the Erdman household, life has not been the same. If you know me well, you know that I am not a huge fan of TV. I've never really liked sitting and watching things, except movies, because it's boring. I'd rather read a book because at least when I'm reading, I can picture people the way I want to and make their voices the way I want them to sound in my wacky little brain.

ANYWAY, for some reason the enormous-ness of this TV mesmorizes me, hypnotizes me and I find myself watching football, the news and John's psycho murder and sex abuse shows (NCIS, Law and Order, Criminal Minds) with newfound passion.

But the best thing of all is that I recorded all of those Janette Oak movies on the Hallmark Channel. Love Comes Softly, Love's Enduring Promise... I watch them before I go to bed. Then, I lay awake crying over the miraculous strength all the characters showed throughout their hardships, love conquering all things blah blah blah. They are as cheesy as they sound, but I just love every minute.

Yow-zah!

Guess what I am wearing to our staff Christmas party tomorrow night? A sports bra and a baggy shirt! Hooty-hoo!

In case you have been an unfaithful reader, I had surgery on Wednesday in a pretty sensitive area of the female body found in the general bra area. I know that's graphic, but we're all adults here, and just my luck, most of you are women.

So my bandages came off today, and I haven't had any pain so far except now that the massive bandage isn't holding things together anymore. So I'm stuck wearing a sports bra and holding onto my chest a lot. Awk-ward!

Rhinovirus Hugs

There's always one huggy student in my class who always gives me a cold. This year it's Cheyenne. She's pretty much the cutest kid in the world, and she gives the best hugs. Whenever she gets into trouble (which she sometimes does), she always gives me a hug five minutes later and says, "I love you, Mrs. Erdman." So what am I supposed to do? I just hug her and think, one hour from now, I will be coughing. And sure enough, that's what happens. Every month of this school year so far. Last year, it was Samantha. The year before that, it was Priscilla. And my first year, it was Akira. They are forever in my heart as the ones who damaged my immune system.

KANSAS JAYHAWKS GO TO THE ORANGE BOWL!

And I get to go to my first ever football game in professional football stadium! I am so psyched.

December

December is here.

What am I going to wear in Ohio? The only winter clothes I have are the same ones I had all through college. Same coats, same sweaters, same shoes. It's not like I am going to go out and spend hundreds of dollars on winter wear that will only be good for seven days. Everything seems hugely out of style, and I am going to see friends I haven't seen in ages. They'll all have new, grown up looking jackets and sweaters. I'll have the same clothes they saw me wearing four years ago. Yippee.

By the way, I enjoyed the beach today. Perfect weather. Warm sun, cool breeze. Ahhhh.

Pioneer Day!

Pioneer Day was a huge success. I forgot to take my camera, but I wouldn't be able to post pictures anyway. My job was to have 5 first grade classes make butter and explore the differences between today and long ago in the making of cornbread, butter, and getting milk. I just loved every minute of it.

It says something, too, about the differences between teaching middle school, high school, and elementary school. When part of your day is just teaching the same lesson twice or more, it sure does go a lot faster and requires less planning. It also leads, I think, to a better lesson and maybe a better experience for the kids.

All the first graders at Highlands Elementary received five very involved, very planned, and very hands-on lessons today from 8:00 until 11:00. I hope we do things like this more often.

At our school, none of the classes switch, not even fourth and fifth grade. I don't know how the 4th and 5th grade teachers get really in depth with schedules like that. Yet they choose to do it that way. I wonder why. It makes sense for the little ones to stay in the same class, but I don't know about the bigger kids.

Someday I'll write something on here that's interesting.

Christmas Cards

Why do we send Christmas cards? To spread joy, to share news, to keep in touch with our friends and family, and many other reasons I'm sure. Like to show off our family, our pets, our talents, our money. Who knows, but a lot of work goes into this whole card business.

For one thing, I spent about an hour of my life searching for the perfectly worded, priced and painted card. I wanted something that said Merry Christmas. None of that Season's Greetings crap. Who the heck is happy about the SEASON? Well, unless you live in Florida. No Happy Holidays, either. I'm going to wish you a Merry Christmas like it or not, and if you want to wish me a Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, I will wish you a Happy Hannukah or Kwanzaa right back. But we do Christmas round these parts.

Then there's the issue of getting a Jesus card or a not Jesus card. A spiritual card or a goofy card, a cute card or a Santa card. Jesus cards are always a possibility for me, except all the Jesus cards have gold squiggly writing, lots of stars, Mary with a halo, or some other ridiculous hullaballoo. So I just look for cards with cute animals on them. You can't go wrong with cute animals.

Then there's price. Jesus cards always cost somewhere around twenty dollars a box. Jesus would so not be happy with you, Hallmark. Then they charge you extra if there's a Bible verse, as if God's agent is out trying to scavenge more money from us all whenever Scripture is quoted. God would so not be happy with you, either, American Greetings.

OK, so I finally found cards that fit my criteria. Nothing Jesus about them, but if you're moron enough to not figure out that I DO wish you a Merry Christmas, a blessed New Year, and that the grace of God be in your life, and praise the Lord that Jesus was born, come to the earth to save all humankind, yada yada, then I am sorry and will get the gold calligraphy card for you next year.

Then I had to deal with getting address labels that sort of match the card and try to figure out if I want the label to say Mr. and Mrs. Erdman, Mr. and Mrs. John Erdman, John and Amanda Erdman, The Erdman Family (which wouldn't leave Rosa out). Then I have to try to get special Christmas stamps, which will likely cost $950.00.

And of course, it's finding all the addresses that really takes a lot of time and makes you realize how much you suck as a friend. My best friends' addresses are still college addresses and we graduated 3 and a half years ago.

Then on the stinkin' cards you gotta figure out how on earth you should write everyone's name in the household on the card, seeing as the kids have different last names, sometimes the live-in boyfriend has a different name of course, illegitimate children, step children, grandchildren, children that are sorta-kinda moved out but not really...arrgh.

Sometimes people name their kids all these crazy names and you can't remember how to spell their names, so they just get left off the card.

Merry Christmas! I hope you all enjoy our Xmas cards this year!

All she ever does is complain.

Symptoms:

Tired. Body hurts all over.

I eat healthy, get enough exercise, drink enough water, and I eat good breakfasts. So what's the problem? My face hurts. My neck hurts. My feet hurt. What the heck?

Sigh. I don't know.

Anyway, with my sore body, lugging the new PLASMA television was not a pleasant experience, but thanks to John's MacGuyver skills, we got it into the elevator and into our condo just fine. Only one piece of crown molding was damaged. We used two of those huge water purifier bottles to develop a conveyor like system. I was in charge of replacing the bottles every two or three steps.

John put together an entertainment stand and a "media" stand yesterday, and we've pretty much been mesmorized by the TV since we plugged it in. I think I can actually get into football now that I can see the football.

I did take pictures of our new set up, but I STILL can't get my camera to download pictures onto the computer.

I invited 35 people to our house today for a Signature Homestyles party (that's like Tupperware, but baskets, blankets, and home decor) and only one person came. I pretty much hate myself now. But John bought me some tea from Teavana, so it's all right.

Sigh.

Black Friday

Today we will be going to Circuit City to look for an enormous LCD television. We have saved up enough money for our Mac computer, but now that I am having surgery, we're going to spend the money on a TV and use the leftovers for surgery.

This works out to be a pretty good deal, because I will finally get my Christmas wish of having an entertainment stand. We just realized today that we have nowhere to put our old TV, which is pretty large and doesn't have much to offer. It's not HDTV or LCD or any of those other acronyms.

We started decorating for Christmas lastnight. I will try to take pictures. Our camera has been on the fritz. I hate it when people say that, "on the fritz." I am going to try to remember not to ever use that expression again.

The Glass Castle

I just finished reading The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. It was very good. It's one of those books that will keep me thinking for a while, and has probably altered my view of poverty, alcoholism and homelessness. I highly recommend it, but I don't really feel like writing a review. I'll give you a boring book report instead.

The Glass Castle is a memoir told by Jeannette starting with her earliest memories as a three year old living with her genius, impoverished, and mentally ill parents. Her father is a severe alcoholic and was probably suffering from some sort of paranoia. Either that, or he was one pretty sick liar. Her mother was an artist and writer who never sold anything and refused to do any house work or maintain any order in the household. You can imagine the tragedies that follow with these two adults trying to raise four young children.

Jeannette's way of telling her story is intriguing because she doesn't cast herself or her family in a pitiful light. Instead, her writing is sometimes very funny, but unavoidably sad. She paints her parents in a strangely positive way, so that you can't help but feel for them, love them, but hate them for their irresponsible ways and many mistakes.

Get the book. And while I wait for you to get it, I will be sneaking food into my students' backpacks just in case any of them is poor enough to go through the lunch room trash cans.

Teavana

John and I found treasure today! It's a little store called Teavana that sells loose leaf tea, and all kinds of other tea stuff to help you make it, store it, pour it, etc. Anyway, we both loved it and think everyone should try it. Unfortunately, there are no locations in Ohio, so please visit their website and remember to visit the store the next time you come to visit us.

http://www.teavana.com/

I've been trying to read as many books as possible lately in order to be inspired to write something, in hopes that I'll be the next out of nowhere genius author. Though the reading does get my mind turning, I think my main problem is that I'm not depressed enough to write anything good. My best writing period ever came and went sophomore year of high school, when I was a depressed teenager somewhere between an agnostic and an atheist. And since then I have been too happy to write anything good, and feel guilty when I write anything that isn't positive.

Obviously I would never want to stir up sadness or anything negative in anyone. My conscience simply can't deal with that, so I thought about writing under a pseudonym, maybe even taking on a whole different personality for a few weeks. I have a feeling God wouldn't be down with that, and the consequences of disobedience to God, I've learned, are not worth the meager earnings I would gain even if I did come up with something good enough for the clearance rack.

So I'm stuck hoping for a gift like C.S. Lewis instead of J.K. Rowling. Not holding my breath for that one.

I have been writing on this blog for over 5 years. Incredible. I just went back and read all my birthday entries. Very interesting.

The day has come

I don't remember my mother being 24 or 25, but I do remember her being 26. And today I turned that age, the age I remember my mother being. That is weird, my friends. Very weird.

Anniversary Number Two

Exactly two years ago today, John and I were probably having our first dance as husband and wife. Either that or we were eating that delicious fried chicken I still have dreams about.

Anyway, it's just incredible. Every piece of it, every part of our lives, the good and the bad that brought us together and made us perfect for each other. All the manipulating, meandering and crying I used to do about who I wanted and when and where and why, to just know that the whole time God had a plan that was far better than anything I could have imagined.

Sometimes, especially when John does things like do the grocery shopping and pick up my messes, finish the laundry that I forgot about or remind me not to forget my cell phone, make coffee for me every single morning, scrambled eggs on Sundays, etc. etc....I just wonder, "Where did this guy come from?" I certainly never dreamed up a guy like that, one that could do those things PLUS everything else I could have asked for.

And what do I do for him? I think my biggest contribution to his life could be pure entertainment. Though I'm not funny enough to be a comedian, talented enough to be a singer, artist, or writer, for that matter, I do make a pretty interesting wife. That's for sure.

Christmas Cards

So, would you guys like a card with a picture of John, Rosa and me, or just a regular old card? One of our friends is a photographer and she wants us to get our picture taken. But I think you guys would think that was stupid.

Crap, crap, crap.

The past two days have been nightmarish. Literally and figuratively.

Monday was a teacher planning day, scheduled for teachers so that we have time to enter grades for report cards and write report card comments. These days should be relaxing and, besides, what a nice change to be able to go to the bathroom whenever I please.

But the day was lonely and I went home feeling tired, unaccomplished, unsatisfied. I missed Lilly complaining about the hole in her gums where she lost her tooth last week. I missed Roberto obsessively grabbing, tapping, pulling, pushing. I just missed them.

Today after school I conducted my very own Faculty Advisory Committee meeting of which I am the chairperson. This means that I get to bring up a whole bunch of complaints, stir up conflict, and try to resolve issues pertaining to our school with a group of eight or so other teachers. I have to tell teachers to basically stop complaining and move on at times, and other times know when to say something official such as, "This is a direct violation of our contract according to section IIA item 3."

It's really horrible. I feel like all the teachers at these meetings hate me, walk to their classrooms and bash me to their friends. Sure, Amanda, as if they have nothing better to do. Sure, Amanda, and now it's time to move on to adulthood and leave your egocentrism behind you.

Nightmares. I had a horrible nightmare lastnight about being stalked by two scrawny old men and I can't stop thinking about it. I have no idea where in my subconscious this dream came from, making it all the more disturbing. I also have no idea why I have suddenly become so self-conscious as if I have reverted back to being 17 years old.

I forgot to tell you!

YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST TRY THIS STUFF!

Please go right now to your local pharmacy or drug store and look in the traditional medicines section or sore throat section for this tea called "Throat Coat." It's made by a company called Traditional Medicinals (www.traditionalmedicinals.com) and buy it so it's ready for the next time you have a sore throat.

It tastes a little bit like black licorice, but it's worth it. I hate black licorice and yet this stuff is to die for. It works much better than any cough drops, cough medicine, etc. that I've ever used. Please, please try it.

If only teachers could really leave at 3:00.

Yesterday I got home at 3:30. How nice is that? Usually I'm at work until 6:30 on Fridays, but my computer wasn't working so I left in a huff. I think it was meant to be. I came home and, because I'm an afternoon person, got most of the big cleaning stuff done for the weekend. Now the weekend is mine. Well, it's mine to grade papers, do lesson plans and grade cards, that is. Shoot. I guess I better get started.

New books!

I ordered three new books on Amazon.com last night.



Digging to America by Anne Tyler

The Emperor's Children by I Forget Who

New Moon by Stephenie Meyer



Hootie hoo, I am so excited. :)



Cathy! Thanks for the leaves! My students loved them. You are amazing. Now I just need homemade noodles, Christmas cookies, and um...a scarecrow. Haha.

Boring Life

Some would think my life must be boring. I don't have much to write. In fact, a fourteen year old, who knows everything, of course, told me on Saturday that my life must really suck. It must suck because my pay is so low (it's not), we don't have an entertainment stand (who cares?), and I'm a first grade teacher (which I love).

But I could look this hard headed teenager in the eyes and say, "I love my life. I love my husband, my family, my friends, my home, and my job." And what percentage of the world can really say that? Not her, for sure.

You know what? So what if I can't tell you about my latest trip across the US in a beat up Chevy, or the late night I spent flirting around downtown? I spend my days singing songs about pumpkins, reading books about Siamese who pretend to be chihuahuas, and making applesauce with the help of 17 little pairs of hands.

I'm getting tired of negativity. From myself and especially from others when I'm feeling good.

If I were reading some good books, maybe I'd have something interesting to write about. I saw a few books at Border's lastnight that I wanted, but I'm not sure I want to pay for them. The library is always an option, but I owe them about a million dollars in late fees. Also, our library rarely has anything new. I want something new. I think someone should invent "Bookflix," like Netflix, with a higher shipping charge of course, but worth it, probably.

Floatin' like a butterfly

John and I had a wonderful time lastnight hanging out with the people from our marriage retreat in August. I guess we're going to get together every other month and review the stuff we learned and update everyone on how things are going. It's kind of an accountability thing.

Anyway, I'm learning such cool stuff about marriage. It's neat to get together with other couples and, instead of complain about each other or make fun of one another, we can actually lift each other up.

So our new friends invited us to sit on the other side of the church for tonight's service, which is really quite a big step. We've been sitting on the other side for the past three years. It could be time for a change seeing as this lady has been sitting near us lately that is really irritating. :)

I also went to breakfast this morning with the ladies from the retreat, and we're going to start going to a Bible study type of thing with them, too. And finally, we have friends. But you know, I still don't fill totally comfortable with them yet. I feel as though I've been shut up too long, and am just getting used to being out of the dark. Like a butterfly, just sprung from its chrysalis, waiting for her wings to dry and strengthen. Yep. Like a butterfly. Haaa. ;-)

Here I am again

John and I actually had a social life this weekend. On Friday night, we went out for ice cream with friends and John flirted with the girl behind the counter, asking her for "All Lovin,' No Oven!" If you know my husband at all, you know how ridiculous this sounded coming out of his mouth, especially when it was directed toward a beautiful 16ish girl who had never heard of that kind of ice cream before. She had an astonished look on her face, and the rest of us were laughing, while John stammered out that it was the one with cookie dough and some other stuff in it.

Saturday we had a meeting at church, and today we're having friends over for lunch. This means that I am making two of my specialties: cheesy potatoes and chocolate chip cookies, and John is making one of his specialties: shredded BBQ pork sandwiches. Oh yes, and I made iced tea. Which is very special because no one here in Naples makes their own iced tea.

And just a sidenote for all the ladies out there: My husband has been doing all the grocery shopping. Lovely.

On Friday I was eating lunch with two of my students while we listened to a kids' CD called "Six Little Ducks." Jasmin, age 6, asked me, "Mrs. Erdman, will you burn this CD for me?" And just because she's so adorable, I certainly did burn that CD for her today.

Sad Day

I think that Hermie, my hermit crab, has died. But I'm not sure. He just molted, so hermit crabs are supposed to be immobile after molting. However, he didn't bury himself or anything like hermies are supposed to when they molt. And now I've researched molting a little bit more, and I see that it's probably all my fault if he's dead.

It's so weird, because it seems like just yesterday when I could take him out of his cage anytime, and as soon as I put him on my hand he would peek out with his eyes on top of his head like an alien to look at me and explore my hand. And if John came around, he would immediately pop back in his shell.

I thought about getting another hermit crab, but no hermit crab could be as cool as Hermie. I've never killed one of my own pets before. Especially a pet I bought for my class. I'm so neglectful.

Just wondering

Does anyone actually follow the Q-Tip rule? Wash your ears with only soap and water. Use Q-Tips to clean out the outer ear only.

I use Q-Tips for many things. Cleaning between small spaces, touching up eye liner, fixing mascara mistakes, and more. But I definitely have never followed the ear cleaning rule. Though I've tried using just soap and water, it just doesn't get the job done.

I now love vampires.

I also finished the book Twilight by Stephenie Meyer last weekend. It took me just over a day to read, and I pretty much did nothing else for those hours aside from sprint back and forth to the bathroom when necessary. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and can't wait to get the next one.

Children's Books

Recommendation: Skippyjon Jones

A great read aloud as long as you know the tune of the Mexican Hat Dance. It's a crazy, loco story.

September has arrived.

Work has been exhausting and I'm being pulled in many directions. Feeling half full but running on empty. Getting enough sleep but having dreams laced with fears and fantasies beyond reach. So I call my former college housemate and share stories, news, and catastrophes. And somewhere in the mix, as I hang up the phone, I know everything is just perfect. The world has gone on, many lives are spinning in and out, and I am not alone.

Whatever will I do?

Ha
ha
ha
ha
ha.

It seems that, because I have went off >>>THE PILL<<<, I have been dropping weight like crazy cakes! Whatever will I do? I ate three brownies today, that's what! Heck yeah.

Well, don't get excited. For those of you who don't know, the only reason I went off THE PILL was for health reasons (apparently, human cyst factories aren't good places for oral contraceptives). And the dr. has absolutely forbidden me to get pregnant.

I now weigh--get ready--my actual weight from high school mid-track season. Break out the spandex, baby. Why can't my high school ten year reunion be today? Why?

We saw The Bourne Ultimatum yesterday. I looooooooove Jason Bourne. And I don't feel bad about it, either, 'cause John loves Julia Stiles. Great movie. I felt like doing karate kicks on the people right outside the theater. Then climbing outside of windows and running across rooftops. Just because.

All I want to do lately is eat junk food.

However, one of my co-workers had McDonald's today and the smell of it was nauseating. But I could definitely go for some donuts, popcorn, chips, or an ice cream cone.

I don't know what my problem is, but I have been staying at work way too long. It seems like there is just so much to do, yet most teachers leave at 3:00. What am I doing wrong?

It's not like I've been doing that many extra things that are super over-achieverish. I can be so inefficient.

My computer is retarded.

Sorry I haven't written lately, but there really hasn't been much news. Still the same old stuff: Getting my classroom ready. I went over there for four hours today, which was just about meaningless. I feel like I'm not getting that much done. However, all I really need to do is clean up, make nametags and labels and do a little walk through of my day to work out the kinks. They give us five paid 7.5 hour work days to do all this work, and I've worked ten days in a row, some far more than 7.5 hours. I wonder what HIGH SCHOOL teachers did this week. I'm rethinking my choices...

I think I'll change my mind when I see my 17 first graders cute, eager little faces. I love school.

John's sick today. His whole body is really sore for no apparent reason, so I told him to take a hot bath. He hasn't taken a bath in over 15 years. He looks really funny in a bath tub.

Classroom :)

My classroom is starting to kind of look like a classroom, and I'm getting more and more excited, sleepless, and nervous each day. It's going to be really weird being in the building now, as I'm used to being out in the middle of nowhere in a separate portable. So, I had my principal stop by like six times today, two third grade teachers, two second grade teachers, and more. I'm growing kind of paranoid that someone is always looking through my windows laughing at me. I'm going to need Prozac soon.

Good News!

I went to the dr. today and it turns out that he doesn't want to do anything about my newest addition. Yee-haw!

I visited my new classroom today and it is really nice. It was arranged very poorly, however. I'm not sure how I'm going to arrange the rest of it. It's too bad engineers don't ask us teachers what we want. Mleh.

I want to go to culinary arts school.

Camp Blues

I was at camp last week from Tuesday until Saturday morning, and let me tell ya, it pretty much blew. I won't complain too much, because I'm not completely sure who might wander onto this site. Let me tell ya about the great things, though.

First, and most importantly, I was in a cabin with freshmen girls. Although we had to go through the pain of a few attitude adjustments, these girls were sweethearts and I love them. This year I might be teaching them every Saturday night, too, so I already got a head start in getting to know them. My patience didn't wear too thin at 3:30 am when they were begging me to help them play a prank on someone, either.

Next, my team (HONEY MUSTARD!) got second place. We were way awesome, and the only reason the Cotton Candy team won was because their color was pink and the guys had to cross dress in the fashion show.

Our youth pastor had some great teaching, and I got to know his wife, Stacie, a lot better. They are both close to our age, so that's pretty cool. They also went on the Peru trip, of course. I don't know what I would have done without Stacie's encouragement at camp.

Big problems arise at camp when adult leaders forget why they are there. Camp is ALL about the kids: their relationship with God and each other. At camp, a good leader will neglect his/her friendships, sleep, and materialism in order to make sure each camper has the best experience possible. I'm not trying to be like, "Oh, I'm the best counselor ever," but now that I'm home and have time to reflect on the experience, I am disgusted at the behavior of some leaders at this camp.

Ack.

Remember how I told you yesterday that we were going out to eat? Well, on the way down the stairs, I had a bit of a tumble. I came to what I thought was the last stair, stepped down confidently, and realized my mistake as my rear hit the concrete.

I have been practicing the RICE method today (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation) and I may be seeing a doctor tomorrow, because I'm finding it difficult to walk on my right foot. I don't think it's that bad. But I've heard that you can have a broken bone in your foot without really knowing. Let's hope it feels better soon.

Writers' Block

I haven't really been in the mood to write. But I guess I'll give you a very brief update of everything, as boring as that is.

Peru was great.

I'm working on making a scrapbook of our wedding and another of Peru.

I'm thinking about working on a bunch of stuff for school, but I haven't done anything since we got back from Peru.

I spent 200 dollars on clothes at Target the other day and now have no money left to buy things I need for my classroom or buy the Nikes and Merrells that I wanted. And all my khakis are ruined, so I could use a pair of those, too.

I went to the doctor the other day, she found a suspicious "lump" and now I have to either have a biopsy or surgery, which sounds completely undesirable at this time.

I am supposed to leave on Tuesday to go to high school church camp for a week, which, because of the biopsy thing, also sounds completely undesirable at this time and I'm kind of hoping to do one or the other next week instead of trying to do both and then go directly back to work, exhausted, cut up, and unprepared.

But I do look really cute today in my new clothes and we're going out to lunch in just a few hours. And the new Super Target is now open. Life is good!

Peru!

I'm going to Peru today! After standing and sitting at the Miami Passport Agency for NINE hours, I received my passport.

Hallelujah.

Goodbye, my friends!

Reindeer has brown antlers,
Ride on his pants!

What a fantastic day.

Today, I watched You've Got Mail and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory while organizing my teacher files. I also did the Caribbean Workout this morning with Denise Austin. She's a nutball, but she makes me laugh. So I think I'll start exercising with her every morning. It's too hot to go outside.

Nope, no passport yet. Definitely looks as though Peru has been shelved for me.

I am so tired. And sick. I can't stop coughing, which means I can't sleep. I can't do anything about my passport not being here. So I might not be going to Peru, which we've spent thousands of dollars on. I feel depressed. My head hurts and I've been drinking hot green tea with honey all day. I hate honey. I hate the passport people. I hate coughing.

Join facebook!

Please visit this site:

http://www.seventhgen.com/

Oh, Come Oh Ye Passport!

Bad news! My passport has not yet arrived. Please pray for it to get here by Thursday, as we leave for Peru on Friday the 13th!

I'm freaking out. A little bit.

In other news, I've been a pretty good housewife so far. I'm pretty efficient, I guess. Yesterday was a real success, as I stuck to my schedule almost perfectly. Today was pretty lazy, so I am off to go clean now.

Hello Summer!

No more teaching for me until August!

Top Ten Favorite Things About T.V.

1. Legally Blonde is on at least one channel at least twice per month.

And um--that's all!

iPods

I got my first iPod the other day. It's weird.

Grow Up

I believe John Edwards owes Ann Coulter a big "THANK YOU" for all the publicity she's throwing his way, while making herself and the Republican party look like a bunch of heartless, immature, malevolent...the list goes on.

I just can't believe this lady.

Elizabeth Edwards confronted Ann because she had "suggested that my husband had a bumper sticker on the back of his car that said, "Ask me about my dead son."

And also, on an earlier date:
"It turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot,' so I'm kind of at an impasse -- I can't really talk about Edwards," she said.

"Rehab" may have been a reference to "Grey's Anatomy" star Isaiah Washington's decision to go into rehab during a public relations firestorm after he called one of his co-stars a "faggot."

-msnbc.com

This is wrong on so many levels.

I'm a Giraffe

I was a party lastnight and I think I have a tendency to talk about myself and not ask others good questions about their own lives, but I feel like I'm being too nosy or forward if I ask people a lot of weird questions. I'm so socially awkward I should crawl in a hole.

Attack of the Protein Bar

Back Up Plan Foods

John and I are on the hunt for back up plan foods while we are in Peru. That means that in case we get sick of rice and beans, we'll at least have something else to eat. It also means that if we get stuck with traveler's diarrhea, we have something to, uh, back us up.

This would have been much easier if I'd had a trusty woman's point of view on what's good and what's definitely not, so here are some reviews that you can use on your next backpacking trip. :)

Luna Bars

We actually bought a whole box of 15 Luna bars because they were on sale, so I'm slowly trying the varieties. I have tried Nuts Over Chocolate, which was probably one of the best ones I tried. Luna bars come from the same maker of Clif bars, but Clif bars have tons of calories (they're made for men, really), so they came up with a lighter women's version. Anyway, this type of Luna bar had really bitter chocolate, which I wasn't crazy about. However, the rice crispy stuff in it made it a winner.

Luna Tea Cakes: Berry Pomegranate

This one was excellent. If you like Nutri-Grain bars and those weird packaged muffin bar things, you would like this. It still has that weird protein bar taste, and a very dry, dense texture, so it's not something you'd really eat for the fun of it. I don't think any of these things you would eat for fun. But there's even this cute drizzle of icing on it, which is quite endearing.

I like that this one has Omega-3s, 35% of my calcium for the day, and is infused with green tea for extra antioxidant power. Only 1.5 g. of fat, 140 calories. Not bad if you're going to be walking around the Andes.

Kashi Go Lean bars

The one I had with the rice crispy cereal was even better than the Luna bar, but that's probably because it has a lot more sugar and a lot more calories.

But I tried this Kashi Go Lean candy bar, which had a sort of peanut butter nougaty stuff in it, and it was disgusting.

PowerBar

Was this a craze between 1997-2000 or was that just me? I have no idea why anyone would eat these things, but the times that I did try them, I nearly threw up. No amount of protein is worth the disaster.

Exercise in the land of the luscious and the scorching.

Amanda. Southwest Florida. Everybody waxes their entire bodies. Everyone gets pedicures and manicures. Everyone is tan, highlighted, and sexy. Everyone, I tell you.

Okay, maybe not. I mean, I do work with teachers and almost none of them are fit or sexy. But if they aren't, they at least get their hair done every 3 weeks, have perfect clothes and jewelry, etc. etc.

But anyway, I've been trying to exercise every day and do this dieting stuff, and I swear I am hurting in all the fat places. In fact, my butt hurt so much lastnight during my 20 minute WALK, I thought it was gonna get road burn from dragging on the ground.

John is the foul-language nazi of the household, so I warned him that if I don't get a move on soon, my butt will officially take on the status of "fat ass." There's just no other word for it, my friends.

Magic Kingdom 2007

John and I took one of my students from this past year, Samantha, and her brother Angel to Magic Kingdom on Saturday. We stayed one night in the All Star Sports hotel, and on Sunday we had some swim time and a lovely trip to McDonald's.

Favorite Magic Kingdom Moments:

1. The kids definitely liked the Buzz Lightyear attraction best. It was like being warped into a video game, so I quite enjoyed it myself. Angel talked us into riding that one twice.

2. Samantha's favorite was the carousel. Despite my constant pleading, she refused to hold on with both hands and waved at everyone watching as though she were a beauty queen.

3. The 3D movie starring Donald Duck was pretty fascinating (it was my favorite).

4. Edy's Cookie Swirl Ice Cream was my favorite part of the whole trip.

5. The hotel gave us the wrong room number which caused me to be very embarassed for trying to open someone else's room, Angel to pee his pants, Samantha to break her flower bouquet balloons, and me to suffer under the weight of 900 pounds of gym bags, a stuffed dalmation, and half full water bottles while John tried to fix the problem.

Basically, we had a great time. The trip almost couldn't have been any better (except the hotel room thing).

John and I went to Tuscora Park in New Philadelphia Sunday to visit our friends Kendra, Richard and their little girls Evelyn and Riley, and Tim and Lindsay. We had a lot of fun!

The guys probably had the most fun.

Loooove is in the Aiiiir!

But hate is in my heart.

Mwahahaha. Sometimes I love to hate. Love to think of hitting people with my car, dumping spaghetti on someone's head, pushing someone into a lake.

If you know me at all, you know that when someone screws up with me, plays with my head, breaks my heart, etc...that person may as well crawl in a hole and die because I put hexes on 'em like Ron Weasley on steroids.

Good thing about living outside of Ohio: Never see hated ex-boyfriends. Never.

This weekend: Going to see, must talk to, must be civil

to
the
snake
of
the
earth
at
a
wedding
beside
a
very
mossy
lake
that
would
be
perfect
for
pushing
someone
into.

All right, Amanda. Calm down.

It's Almost the End

May is almost over and I've stopped crying myself to sleep.

My hell raising students have been extremely well-behaved in these last few weeks, thanks to my genius strategies.

Number One End of the Year Strategy: Bribe with candy. Lots of it.

Number Two End of the Year Strategy: Stick with the same exact schedule. I even gave them a test on Friday. They don't know their grade cards have already been printed.

Other news:

Last year, John and I took this class at church called "Crown Financial." Since then, we have been trying to become completely debt free in three years or less. We made a few other financial goals that seemed practically impossible. But we've been working hard, praying hard, and John has been an amazing budget keeper. Listen to this.

I did get my preschool job for the summer, which is absolutely a work of God. I kid you not, because I absolutely had no way of getting it. Easiest job, so rewarding, so fun, weekends off, only one month long. Two thousand buckaroos in my pocket. Heck yes.

I was offered a new opportunity for next year, instead of the after school program. It's tutoring a group of five kids for 60 dollars an hour. Are you kidding me? It's so much easier than what I do now, and I LOVE working with small groups like that.

John had his one year evaluation a few weeks ago, which means he got a raise. I was expecting a 50 cent raise, a dollar? He got a two dollar raise. Hallelujah!

Don't tell me God ain't in the miracle business.

"Therefore if you have been faithful in the use of worldly wealth, who will entrust the true riches to you?" Luke 16:11

check this out: www.crown.org

Top Ten Things My Mother Always Said

10. "Come on douche bag!"

9. "Everybody wants to be me!"

8. "Sara is so much like you!"

7. "I want some General CHO's chicken!"

6. "This room is a disaster! How do you even LIVE in here?!"

5. "I trust my daughter. If she were drinking, she would tell me!" Haha! Good one, mom!

4. "You should show off your best ASSet more often."

3. "If you got it, flaunt it!"

2. "Try it before you buy it!"

1. "I don't know why I even bother talking to you!" :::sniffle:::sob:::

Top Ten Things My Mother Taught Me

10. How to make a latch-hook rug.
9. How to take care of a paralyzed rabbit.
8. How to make meat loaf and twice-baked potatoes.
7. A way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
6. Wear cotton underwear or none at all.
5. Don't shave your thumbs.
4. Don't let pompous a-holes get to you. They'll get what's comin' to 'em.
3. It's okay to pretend to believe in the make-believe sometimes.
2. Don't ever, ever, EVER smoke.
1. God will always provide.

I always feel this way in May.

One wonderful thing about this online journal is looking back. Today I looked back on this week two years ago and one year ago. Can you believe there's a pattern? Every May I'm stressed out because of testing, anxious, summer-ready students, and very sad to be saying goodbye to my best friends.

Yes, my best friends are seven year olds.

Some students I could say I probably do enjoy a little bit more than others, but surprisingly, these are not the ones I have trouble letting go. Usually the kids I most enjoy will do just great in second grade.

Some students break my heart. Students that I know will lie around empty homes most of their summer days. Students that I know will drop two or three reading levels. The ones who are worried about breakfast and lunch--it won't be free over the summer.

I wonder if they know how I pray for them. How I lay awake these last few weeks of school, tears pouring down my cheeks and off my earlobes. I wonder if they know that I would take them home, keep them safe, keep them fed, and make them feel loved if I could. If I could.

Packing Up

It's been my most difficult year of teaching.

And somehow, I think it's going to be the hardest year to say goodbye.

It's difficult teaching English as a second language to first graders, as you can imagine, for many reasons. Adding to this frustration is my tutor, who uses consistently poor grammar and um...vocabulary.

One of the most difficult habits to break with the kids is saying mines.

"This is yours, and this is mines."

Another is the weirdness of everyone in Immokalee misusing the word barely.

Barely.

"I barely got my new van when it was hit by a truck."

Isn't it supposed to be, "I just got my new van...?"
Or, even better, "I had just bought my van..."

Everything's about that word "got" nowadays. Even on our church's private school's radio commercial, it says, "We've GOT cross country, basketball..."

I don't know if that's incorrect, but it sounds stupid. I can understand saying it in casual circumstances, but in a commercial for a private school? It can't be right.

Twinkies and such

John drug me to the library yesterday.

I don't like our library because it's organized funny.

Anyway, I got two books.

Twinkie Deconstructed and The No A**hole Rule.

Twinkie Deconstructed: I've read the first three chapters of this book, and just let me summarize it for you. DO NOT EAT TWINKIES. Maybe I will tell you more about that later.

The No A**hole Rule: The rule is to not hire a**holes, how to successfully rehabilitate an a**hole at work, and even how to get rid of them. I figured I should start reading it because of my current work situation.

I also found two books about Cinco de Mayo and Hispanic American crafts for kids. I'm totally excited about Cinco de Mayo this year. In fact, it makes me wish I could drink a margarita. And eat a lot of queso...

Queso means cheese. I'm practicing my Espanol for Peru.

I feel like torturing myself, okay?

Not like I am going to become a cutter or anything, but...

My students are torturing me. I am not kidding. I used to think, okay, just one or two of them are annoying. But today, I looked around and thought, "Every single one of these children has somehow tried to torture me this week. Except Elias."

It's only Tuesday.

I am tired. They are tired and hopped up on Peeps and pastel M&Ms.

So I figure, why bother? Just go with it, Amanda. So yesterday I decided to start torturing myself, too. Every body's doing it!

I opened a can of pop biscuits without flinching. I ate a bag of peanut M&Ms for dinner and topped it off with a double chocolate chip cookie. And the night before that I ate chips and a whole bunch of nacho cheese right before bed. I listened to a woman talk about herself giving birth and having to wait almost 30 minutes for her placenta to come out (with extra details).

Is there therapy for pop biscuit self-mutilation?

Easter Scrooge

I hate Easter.

I hate Easter grass, Easter baskets, Easter eggs, Easter bunnies, hot cross buns, and I really hate Easter ham.

I have no idea why I hate Easter, but I don't think I ever did until I moved to Florida. This probably means I hate Easter because I don't get to see my family or my friends. Everyone down here is too busy with their own family and friends to invite John and I over for some nasty Easter ham.

Last year, John and I successfully avoided Easter by traveling to Key West. Best non-Easter ever!

I think John knows how much I hate Easter, and that I get really homesick around this time, so I believe he's trying to form our own traditions (that do NOT involve ham or hard boiled eggs). This morning, he surprised me by waking up at 7:30 and driving to Dunkin' Donuts for some breakfast. The bad part is he told me to wake up and make coffee so that it was ready upon his return, leaving me with only eight hours of sleep. Nazi husband.

Anyway, it has been a nice Easter Sunday so far, thanks to John breaking our normal Sunday routine and splurging on some donuts.

Soon it will be time to head to his grandparents for a smashing good time with ham, sweet potatoes and, most likely, some really great cake laced with repulsive imitation fruit filling.

I hate Easter.

Exciting Saturday

My morning began after my usual spring break ten hours of sleep. I had to finish off the rest of the Raisin Bran Crunch, so I had an unusually large portion for breakfast. Before I knew it, John was home at noon and ready for lunch. I masterfully grilled up some hamburgers in a skillet and filled my belly once again, topping it off with a giant cup of coffee that was not needed. Hyperactivity soon set in, and I talked poor John's ear off all the way to Best Buy.

This is where we spent our life's savings on a new mouse. A computer mouse, that is. Following Best Buy, we then went to Petco to buy some pet food: some new sand for Hermie and a dead, frozen mouse. A real mouse, that is. As in mammalian.

Arriving back at home, we fed our starving animals and then I made dinner. I made dinner early so that it could go into the slow cooker, so that it would be ready after church tonight.

If you can't tell already, I'm getting tired of Spring Break. My life has been reduced to cooking, eating, and cleaning up. Cooking, eating, cleaning up. And laundry.

But I sure do love the ten hours of sleep (not to mention my mid-day two hour nap!).

Hey there! Sorry it's been so long, but our mouse has been dying slowly. Our computer mouse, that is. I'll be back when we get a new one, k?