"For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:13-14

Here's to all the women out there. You are beautiful. God doesn't make mistakes.

You may begin.

I'm beginning to study for the GRE, so don't be surprised if you start seeing some big words in my posts. I'm just trying to remember some of them.

John and I are having a normal weekend so far. On Fridays we usually go out to eat (nowhere fancy because I look like a zombie). Our favorite cheap restaurant is probably Moe's Southwest Grill. Then, we usually go to Border's. This is where I came across the GRE section. Every weekend we go to Border's, I pick a different section to occupy the next two hours. This time it was the GRE and searching for jobs section. Last time it was the "literature" section. The time before that it was the children's section. The time before that it was the cooking section. The religion section in Border's is kind of weird. It has a bunch of Bibles and a buttload (nice GRE word, eh?) of The Purpose Driven Life copies.

Rosa and I are both growing more zaftig every day. Our new sobriquets are going to be Porky and Wilbur. I'm even having a chocolate craving right now and there is not a scintilla of chocolate to be found, besides the stuff from who-knows-when that has ossified in my desk drawer. Thank you. It's been a pleasure.

As a Child

After sharpening my pencils, I always took a big whif of the tip. Newly sharpened pencils have an odd smell, like a dentist office. Since I partook of this obsession every day of my student career (until electric pencil sharpeners invaded our classrooms), I figured it would ultimately lead to a career as a teacher, where I could smell that strangely delightful scent all of my working days. Or maybe I could be a dentist.

Anyway, the past two weeks have been excellent. We've done some really cool experiments having to do with insects. You know all the kids in my class at our school. They're the ones making sure all the ants have heads, thoraxes, and abdomens. They're the ones waiting for the butterfly's proboscus to unravel for some juicy nectar. They're the ones with baby powder on their shoes, saying it's pollen, trying to pollinate chalked flowers on the sidewalk.

This is why I teach. I love handing children a bendy proboscis (straw), to drink nectar (fruit punch) out of a flower (a paper cup) and overhearing conversations like this one:

"Mom, today we were butterflies and we pollinated flowers with baby powder and we drank nectar out of flowers with our probobbles!"

Tomorrow...we're making treats out of honey. The wonderful world of insects.

Le Chat de Pavlov (The Pavlovian Cat)

It was simple training Rosa how to play fetch, but now she has played into our other routines and habits in order to earn extra prizes.

Because brushing is such an unpleasant experience for Rosa, I figured I could subconsciously make it more pleasing by rewarding her with a treat or a full bowl of food after brushing. This, however, has resulted in a routine every day:

I come home from work. I get the brush. I brush Rosa for about 30-60 seconds. She jumps down and runs to her food dish.

Also, Rosa knows that I feed her every day when I wake up, and John feeds her every day when he gets home from work. So this is what she does.

Rosa meows and meows for food when John gets home, she eats it quickly, and when I get home, John is usually in the shower. So Rosa's bowl is empty, she's meowing like crazy, and so I feed her again, thinking she hasn't been fed yet.

When Rosa wants a treat (even if we don't throw her toy to fetch it), she just goes and finds her toy and places it by the cupboard with her treats inside. When Rosa wants food in her dish, she takes her toy over to the bag of cat food.

It's really weird.

Our cat has trained us.

Key West Pictures!

Just beware...I know I look really dumb in capri pants with Nikes...but we had to walk so far and it was sooo hot...but my legs are too white for shorts! And John has a glass eye now (just kidding)! Also, I was going to go back through and edit my many typos. That would take too long. So deal with it.

This is the Key West Aquarium. It looks cheap because...it is. But we got to pet a shark.  

This is the old customs house. It's now a museum. Don't visit there...it's really boring. 

This is what a lot of the homes, guesthouses, and other building look like in Key West. Notice the cool trees.  

Ernest Hemingway's Key West home. 

Ernest Hemingway thought it would be drive his wife crazy if he brought an old urinal into her beautiful garden...she redid it with Spanish tile to disguise it. I couldn't find the modern restrooms... 

John eating those weird little bananas at the Hemingway House. 

Here's John at the Hard Rock Cafe. 

Hi! That's me standing outside our room. 

GOD HELP ME!

Oh man. I have the worst, worst, worst ever problem.

Here is my phone. Sitting beside me. Waiting. It has the doctor's number programmed. All I need to do is press the green button. Gulp.

I think I'm going to cry.

You see, my birth control prescription has run out of refills. So, I have to call and ask for more. But will they make me schedule an appointment?

The secretary there is kind of mean. She's one of those monsterous, tough, independent woman types who HATES little girls like me. Oh dear, I am such a female. I have every female characteristic, good and bad. I should be proud to be a femalish female. Well, not when I'm faced with that mean, lesbian face of doom!

This is what I want: 2 refills on the prescription, an appointment in June, and a new birth control method then, because this birth control has some bad side effects. So I feel like I'm being too complicated. So i should just say, in my strongest New York accent (which will, no doubt, come out half-British sounding), "Hey lady, I need a coupla refills on my prescription, so call it in to Wal-Greens, lady, and I'll make an appointment lata.

Okay, I am overanalyzing a bit (female trait?). I'm calling right NOW.

Shoot. That's the wrong number. Try again.

Okay. I got it. I talked to a nice lady, too. She made an appointment for me in June, just like I wanted. Hey, that was easy! I panicked for nothing.

This blog would make a great children's book.

Did I Predict This or What?

Saving Jane: Buy it today at any store, anywhere (not WalMart).

HUGE add at Target for Saving Jane, right on an end cap. Way to go!

Give it a listen:

www.savingjane.com

Books and Bills and Boycotts

Books: Got two new books, the ones Autumn recommended. Thought about Kite Runner. Saving that one for summer, too serious for a first grade teacher. I think I will really like the Tiffanie DeBartolo book, and almost got her other one at Border's. I got God Shaped Hole. I'll keep you updated. I also got The Little Friend by Donna Tartt (Tarrt? I can't remember). That one seems a bit thrrrrilling, so I'm saving it 'til summer as well.

Bills and Boycotts: Hullo. Hollywood Video, you suck. Why can't you be like the other video places and just charge for the video?

Okay, here's the story. We rented Constant Gardener. I didn't even watch it cuz I'm too stupid after a full day's work of counting elephants and tying shoes. So, John returned it a little late. Well, then they called and said the DVD was missing from the case. We looked everywhere. I cleaned the whole house more than it's ever been cleaned before. Me no find. Us now poor. We had to pay $75.00. Is that ridiculous, or is it just me? I'm confused.

Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go...?

Well, John actually made reservations and everything! So we are off to the Keys on Friday.

I'll see if I can take some pictures for you.

:)

I'm a Freak...

...okay, I'm not. Darn it.

I just took an ink-blot test. And it turns out that I'm not a psycho-path afterall. They kept asking me if I saw sexual images and I always saw fairies, butterflies, and dragons. Maybe I've been a first grade teacher for too long.

They REALLY looked like fairies, butterflies, and dragons!

Hmmm I think I work too much.

Hmmm I think I need to exercise.