My family and I are going to Ocean City, Maryland tonight after my sister's softball game, so I probably won't be writing anything for a week or so. Anyway, to answer Alison's question...


The Poisonwood Bible is a book (fiction) about this missionary family that goes to the Congo for a year in the 1950's. The family consists of a Baptist minister, his wife, and four girls--all from Georgia. So think back to the 50's (or I mean, what we've heard about the 50's) and you pretty much can figure the minister is pretty racist (the family is really)--but he's more sexist than anything, which totally makes me want to puke. The story is told from the viewpoints of the four daughters and the mother, all in turn. It's very interesting because the one girl is five, one is 15/16, and the other two are 14...but the one twin has a severe disability where one half of her body is paralyzed, including her brain, but she's really a genius! AND guess what?? She thinks and spells and thinks forwards and BACKWARDS! It's really cool. She's always "saying" things backwards. It's amazing. So it is really, really neat to read things from her point of view. The mother, of course, is totally stressed and worried about her little kids living in the Congo, and she pretty much resents her husband for being a jerk. Two of his girls are straight geniuses and he doesn't believe in sending women to college. I want to rip his name right out of the book for that.

The backwards girl is always making up palindromes. I'll write some for you sometime later.

So far, the Baptist minister is getting NOWHERE with witnessing to the Congolese, but the little girls are becoming pretty successful with games like "Mother May I." It's really good since I just took this Global Christianity class--where we talked a lot about accepting people's cultures. The minister, on the very first DAY he was there yelled YELLED at the women for being topless, but his wife and girls wear pants, which is totally, totally unacceptable there. WOW missions have come a looooooong way! But I imagine there's a lot that can still be done.

I'm sorry...I didn't mean to talk about that quite so much. It's really a great book--I think it could be a classic someday...but I'm not even 1/4 of the way through yet. It's pretty popular, which is why I couldn't get it for a while from the library. Read it!!! It's a must read.

Lindsay Loo and Stuart Little Number 2

Lindsay and I bought a mouse at the pet store and successfully fed it to the snake. It was great.

Susan and I are meeting at Das Dutch tomorrow and then I think she's spending the night...which should be interesting seeing as my entire room is boxes along with plenty of other things spread out, ready to be put in boxes, and a suitcase from Florida that I unpacked by dumping it over...

I went to the library and FINALLY got The Poisonwood Bible, which I've been waiting and waiting to read forever. I was hoping to get it on one of my 90 hour flights, but NO airport had it and NO bookstores in NZ. All books in NZ cost at least 30 bucks though so it's okay... :)

I have successfully spent ALL my money except $6.20 in my checking account and am therefore living off what my mommy gives me and hoping that John is ready to support me for a month or two when I'm in Florida :)

I have also successfully mastered going to the Y every single weekday and seeing absolutely NO progress. Hello, 20's. I've been waiting for you for oh so long. However, the cardio is getting a lot easier...

Sigh.

I'm a walking the dog...

Charlie and I have become rather close in the past 6 months. I've never had a chance to own a dog long enough to have a serious emotional attachment, but with Charlie it is definitely there. He is quite a pal. Charlie is our dog, by the way.

I was walking him this evening and as I travelled past Beuhler's parking lot, these two 18ish boys pull up in a big van (the kind people use when they have a "band"...matte blue paint, no back windows, etc.), in the parking lot ("carpark" in New Zealand) so that they are perpendicular to the sidewalk (toe path in New Zealand). I of course, am walking by, when I hear, "Excuse me, I just had to stop..." So I turn around and here are these two boy-men with a dog that looks, no joke, just like Charlie. "Our dogs just look so alike, I thought they should meet." Nice pick up line. Hahaha. Just kidding. Anyway, I actually sort of managed to carry on a short chat. It was very interesting.

I had another run in on our walk with a kid about six years old. As I was walking, I hear this little voice saying "Hiii!" from across the street. So I said "Hi!" to the kid and kept walking. But you know how kids have that yell that they sort of want you to hear but are sort of unsure if they want you to hear, so it comes out as a shouting whisper? Well, in his shouting whisper he says "Can I pet your dog?!" And I'm thinking, oh great...how am I going to keep Charlie from jumping all over this kid? Anyway, I cross the street and hold Charlie for dear life, and the kid is terrified to pet him, but he gets a good pat and then says "I was trained to ask people if I could pet their dogs...in kindergarten."

And then after being home for a while, my uncle stops by to drop off a huge serving-plate full of barbecued chicken.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I click on the link to this blog and try to pretend I'm someone I only sorta know and think, "Do I seem cool? Is my blog lame?"

Sometimes I look at my legs and think, "My goodness, my legs are actually pretty thin." and other times I look at them and, almost on the verge of puking, I think "Oh gross!"

Sometimes when I'm driving down the street I try to drive really, really straight so that the driver behind me thinks, "Wow, she drives really straight." But when I try to drive really straight I notice how much I don't drive straight, and think that the driver behind me must be thinking, "Is this girl drunk or something?"

Top 10 Things Guys Don't "Get"

Just in general, you know...


10. What it feels like to receive cat-calls. Okay, so some women might like it, but I honestly don't think any guy could understand the way I feel when it happens to me. It's sort of the feeling that someone has just killed my cat. Read into that sentence as much as you like.

9. How we're disgusted by the time and money they spend on video games, CD's, comics, or some other annoying guy habit, but we spend probably just as much time and money on shopping, hair, clothes, personal care, long bubble baths, or something else we do/like that he doesn't...and it's okay. It makes sense. It does, really. Right?

8. What it means or doesn't mean to have the approval of his parents, his family, and his friends...and his pets.

7. Our need for reassurance and praise--but not too much, and nothing that we don't even SUSPECT is untrue, or is said at the wrong time. In other words, "You look so beautiful" can be a great thing, or a huge, disastrous lie that makes us want to rip a guy's face off. But he never knows when the right moment is, when we'll take it as honesty or dishonesty. Poor guy :)

6. Who we try to impress...as if it's really them. Usually, let's face it, we just try to impress each other...and HIS parents.

5. Girly gossip...the incessant need to say, at least once in a while "OhmigoodnessyouwontbelievewhoIsawatthemall...
ohmigoodnessdidyouseethewayshelookedatme...?!"

4. Why we cry sometimes for no reason. I don't even understand that.

3. Mood swings. How it feels to feel one way one moment and another way the next.

2. Cravings...the kind that occur once a month for anywhere from 1-31 days. Chocolate. Salt. Dairy products. The way we can't sleep until we have the ho-ho we know is lying in the cupboard. The way we can stuff ourselves silly with a bucketful of ice cream but not be able to eat a whole steak.

and the number one thing that guys just don't get about women is...

1. How much work it takes to wear a bathing suit--before, during, and after.

Sigh...big sigh

I feel like I lost my best friend. Not only has John gone away to Florida, but Lindsay is successfully avoiding me. To make matters even worse, I officially have no car to drive to visit anyone. And the really weird thing is that my 48 year old father was mugged. Yes. He was bashed in the head and also has two broken ribs and was found face down in an alley. And the police aren't doing anything about it. As usual. And I still haven't visited my grandmother because I'm scared to. Why? Because she doesn't remember me. So does it really matter to her if I visit or not? And if I do, I really don't want to go alone. Seriously, none of this would be a big deal if I weren't leaving the state in oh, seven days. So I want to see people like Lindsay and my other Muskies but I just don't know if that's possible (no car).

However, I have inside information that Linds has an interview in Orrville on Monday. And I also know that she is going to be home today at approx. 4:00. So, I am going to call her and order her to meet me before or after her interview. SO, if any of you Muskies are just like me and don't have a job, a life, or anything to do, perhaps we can arrange for something on Monday, since we know that Lindsay and I WILL be doing something, whether she likes it or not. :)

Oh Yeah, this is SO Me! :-p

You're Skittles!!! You have a very interesting
personality, you're so unique. You're the kind
of person who always thinks outside of the box.
You're also a very accepting individual, and
believe in inner beauty.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Shakespeare was a...

I couldn't type the rest of the title because it was inappropriate. Anyway, I just thought this was funny. I read it as I was searching for Shakespeare info. It just reminded me how much I can't stand some teenagers...and I am sooo glad I'm not one! I think you'll all remember going through THIS stage, whether you hated English class or not...

"Whenever I'm forced to read Shakespeare in class the teacher always claims that his plays can't be boring because back in the day people would throw rotten food at the actors if they sucked. Probably because they hadn't invented guns yet. You know what stupid english teacher I'm pretty sure that I'm already smarter then you, judging by my ability to multiply and your lack of any sort of talent at all. I can also see into the past and therefore know that people did throw tomatoes at Shakespeare and that's why he stinks so much (that was a bad pun). I can also see that your parents hated you when you were a child. I hate english teachers."

There was a lot more crazy stuff after that, like about how this kid has found a way to never die and that if Shakespeare was such a genius, he should have found a way to live forever. Hmmm...

Hmmm...

Directions:
1. Take five books off your bookshelf.
2. Book #1 -- first sentence
3. Book #2 -- last sentence on page fifty
4. Book #3 -- second sentence on page one hundred
5. Book #4 -- next to the last sentence on page one hundred fifty
6. Book #5 -- final sentence of the book
7. Make the five sentences into a paragraph.

You have a decision to make. If I made allowances for every relative I employ I'd be walking around like bloody Mr. Gandhi. A step traversed the hall; the open house was too tempting for Heathcliff to resist walking in. "But these honest facts have been obscured by the fanciful legend of the Chamber of Secrets." I think he got out of it very well for such a stupid man.

I don't think that is a very good thing...I mean, it doesn't work, Jeff G.

So anyway, I cleaned the snake's cage today. It was very interesting. Mr. Snake was not happy at ALL with me. I thought he was going to attack me a few times. But I spoke some parseltongue and it was all good. After that he stuck around outside his little hut and had a little party. I've never seen him so active. I'm not sure if it was because he was happy or really pissed off.

I also went to the Y today and discovered that reading while I workout is a very good idea. It makes time fly by, especially when stupid people have the TV ALWAYS on either ESPN or CNN. Blah.

So here's a funny story. This kid had this big thing for me in jr. high and throughout a lot of high school, so I finally went on a date with him like sophomore year (I don't know WHY he had a thing for me in jr. high because I was looking like Frankenstein then). I mean I even met his family on this one date. So the great thing about that is that his mom remembers me. But really that's NOT a great thing because now she hates me (she really glares at me every time she sees me even if I smile). I don't get it. It doesn't make sense for ex-boyfriends' mothers to hate me (and with this kid, it was only ONE DATE!), like I was some kind of jerk. Hello!

Mommies and their sons. Sheesh.

So if you're ever with me and you see some 40-50 something year old woman glaring at me, you can bet it's one of my ex-boyfriends' mothers. Maybe I should go visit all of them before I leave!

I Fed the Snake...All By Myself!

I got a mouse at the pet store. I put it on top of my car as I was trying to find my keys. As I was looking for my keys, a gust of wind blew by and I heard a SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEK! And the mouse box was gone. My exact words, I believe, were "Oh no, mousey!!!!" I ran to the other side and there the box was on its side. The mouse was okay. Thank goodness! Poor little thing! I felt terrible. And then, when I got home, I dropped him in the snake cage. He sniffed around with his little pink nose...he seemed pretty comfortable. "So this is my new home!" He thought, perched on top of the snake's little hut (He looked kind of like Stuart Little). But someone ELSE was sniffing around too and that was...Mr. Snake. He jumped out SO FAST I almost had a heart attack. And boom, the mouse was being bitten and strangled, struggling and convulsing and bleeding. It was great. And then the snake licked him all up to get him nice and wet for the slippery slide down his throat. And then little mousey was gone. Mr. Snake went back into his home, and as I walked back up to the cage, he peeked out a little, and then a little more, and a little more, sticking his tongue out to smell me...I think he was saying "thank you." Now, Mr. Snake is sleeping soundly. What an adrenaline rush!

Quality [Guy] Movies

Okay, so I understand "quality books," unlike some people who think Danielle Steele is just the best writer ever. Shakespeare is certainly quality. And Poe and Keats and Wordsworth and Browning and Plath and Dickenson and Dickens and yada yada yada. So WHY don't I appreciate quality movies? Why do I looooooove Good Will Hunting (that always gets made fun of) and Pirates of the Caribbean (which I suppose some people might say is quality) but I just can't stand the movies (at least guys) people say are the best of all time? Godfather movies? John Wayne? I don't get it fellas. I might be not be a totally completely girly-girly-girl but I just have to stick with When Harry Met Sally and Disney's Robin Hood (with that sexy fox).

I'm Just Bored

I am so bored. What am I supposed to do at night without John? That's what I want to know. So I did go see Susan and all that and I went to the Y and kept myself busy yada yada and now it's ten o'clock and I am soooo lonely I just feel like...trying out my new Venus razor! Hey that's a good idea. I also started reading Hamlet. And I decided to enter a pie baking contest. And I watched Father of the Bride. I've called people but everyone is busy or otherwise engaged (or married). Sigh. Secretly, I really love this time alone because I get to do all sorts of crazy things like...I'll tell you later :)

I Am a Reading Instructor Machine

Praxis test was today, two hours, 100 questions. Who needs two whole flippin' hours to answer 100 questions? I was done an hour early and I had to pee really badly, but I didn't want to be a pain so I just sat there and drew a really cute picture in my test booklet that I couldn't rip out because if I ripped a page out I'd get kicked out of the country. Or some other crazy punishment. Flogging. I don't know. Anyway, it was really horrible and I couldn't remember all those crazy acronyms. How can I remember was SQ3R means when I've learned all these other acronyms like APA, MLA, IEP, ESL, TESL, NIMH, DSL, DD, ADHD, RAM, ROM, DRTA, DEAR, SSR, WCS, NWF, SAT, ACT, OLSAT, ASVAB, PSAT, RR, GT...IHOP...and so on. You get the idea. Some of those aren't education acronyms but by golly, all education terms are acronyms and every form to fill out and every program is an acronym. ARRGGHH!

Syntactic, semantic...those are words you really must know to take the test. I think I know what they mean.

My bags are packed and...

HE is ready to go. Yes. I'm packed, but John's the one leaving and he's...not really packed. But I guess, according to him, he is. I wish he would make lists to remind himself about things because he forgets all this stuff so I say "Make lists!" But that's the way I do things, not the way he does, so I will TRY to accept his ways. Sigh. Hahaha... Now, for some reason this new format does not let me put in paragraphs and stuff. Also, my sentences look all run together. I'm sorry. It makes it so much harder to read, I think. No one wants to read my blog now. Mlehh. I am now babysitting John's snake. He's a real cutie, but we might have to sell him. So, if you or anyone you know is interested in buying a snake with all the accessories ($120), let me know. Also, we need to get rid of a trombone ($20) and...a 1991 Cavalier (500 dollars).

Can They DO That??

Okay, so apparently I DON'T have the job at Sylvan Learning Center. Yeah. I will spare you the details but lets just say that I got s-c-r-e-w-e-d. It's a good thing I am just sooo on top of things and that I, of course, have a back up plan! And that is...

Vacation in Ocean City, MD! And while I'm over there, since my uncle is a car salesman, he can get me an awesome deal on...

A new car! Gosh it just doesn't get any better, does it? I feel like I'm on The Price is Right.

Oh yeah, except that I am even more poor than I thought I'd be. Blast. So I might be moving down to Florida sooner than I thought...after our vacation, around the beginning of July. Maybe I'll wait until after Winey's reception thing. So Ryan and Whitney, you cuties, I could see you in FL if you're down there around that time :)

Now let's talk about the wedding. I cried during the rehearsal, I cried off and on throughout the wedding day, and I thought I might totally lose it during the ceremony, but lo, I didn't. And the crying wasn't really crying crying, it was just teary-eyedness. The wedding was AWESOME and I could NOT believe how relaxed Stephanie (the bride) was the entire time. If I had lost my faith in the whole wedding hoopla, they definitely restored it. Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Winey!

And I met Jeff's girlfriend who is awesome and so incredibly cute and I saw all these couples who are MARRIED now and the last time I saw them they weren't even talking about it. It was so weeeeird. I think Grace College DOES something to people. I mean of the few people I know that went or go to Grace, like half are married. That's an abnormal proportion, I think...compared to Muskingum. But Muskingum guys are ugly and smelly. Now John, don't get too cocky about your school, but of COURSE I'd find you at Mount and definitely not Muskingum! As much as I hate Mt. Union, I owe them that :)

Meanwhile, for all you people planning weddings ;-) I suggest checking out bigrose.com, where Aaron and Steph got their roses...100 of them for about 100 dollars, no shipping, and they were gorgeous.

Conspiracy!

Why are fingernail polish brushes only long enough to reach halfway into the bottle?

Here Comes the Bride!

And groom!

I'm going to Winey and Stephanie's wedding this weekend with the Winey's! It'll be exciting. This will be one wedding where it's almost inevitable that I'll cry. Awwww. They're just so cute.