Kindergarten and Preschool! Week One

I planned to start school with Maryn a little more hard core than ever before on Monday.  But the kids were playing so well outside, I just let them play all morning (and we were at the ER with Josiah until midnight the night before).  A similar thing happened on Tuesday, and we skipped Motor Skills.  Then Wednesday came and eh...we did phonograms and of course read our Bible, practiced our Awana verses, did some little writing practice (because Maryn has a strange love for writing on lines), and did some Fruit Loop Math.  :)  Maryn came to me with all of her capital ABCs written on paper, and told me to circle the ones she needed to practice.  So she practiced S and B.  That day Maryn also read two books to me that were upper Kindergarten/Early First Grade levels for the first time, and she did very well.

Today was Thursday and I was at a doctor's appointment ALL morning and came home absolutely exhausted.  So we just sat on the couch and read Maryn's math book (Life of Fred:  Apples) and did the short activities at the end.  Then we read a large chapter in her book "A Pioneer Sampler" which all the kids enjoyed.

Maryn and I have been reading Milly Molly Mandy before bed, which she loves.  Maryn and Daddy make up stories for their bed time ritual.  For Josiah and Owen, I read a book with them of their choice and so does John.  In the mornings, we always do some sort of Bible reading.  Usually it's just right out of the Bible, but sometimes we need to practice our verses for Awana and read those books and sometimes we read from a children's Bible.  Right now we are reading from Chronicles, about King Solomon.  We just finished up 1 and 2 Samuel.  I love the Old Testament.  We enjoyed reading about Samuel, Saul, and King David.  I can't wait to read about Elijah.

I think this may be kind of how our whole school year goes.  I'd like to work a little more on phonograms (more than once a week), do more guided reading (more than once a week), and just keep the television off more often.  So much learning takes place naturally when the TV is off.

I'm regretting signing the kids up for Motor Skills and wish I had used the money to do gymnastics or ballet.  Josiah will not participate at Motor Skills, so I drive 45 minutes there and 45 minutes back (traffic is bad those times of day) and get home right at supper time.  It really makes for a miserable day.  I was looking forward to the time with several of our former neighbors, but by the time we get there, I'm exhausted and frustrated, and spend most of the time just trying to keep up with Josiah and Owen.  Sigh.

And of course I committed to teaching Cubbies this year, making our Wednesday nights almost absolutely tragic, as the kids finally fall asleep around 10...and still wake up at 6...meaning Josiah must take a nap the next day....meaning he is then up till ten the next night....

It seems like things at church are just not going very well (long story, but fyi, it doesn't have to do with the leadership, it's just a lot of little things) and now John works so far away.  I wonder why we moved to this area of town now, why I committed to Cubbies and Motor Skills, why I don't like Beth Moore Bible studies anymore, why am I complaining on my blog about everything, and why do I not like the busy life...compared to most people, our lives are not that busy.  Why am I reminded every day that I am not cut out to be a mother of three (almost four) small children?  I know for a fact that they are no more annoying than most children their ages, so why do I get so upset and annoyed by them?  I have been keeping the house too clean.  Seriously, I know I should not be cleaning as much as I have been.  But I just feel helpless in every other area.  At least I think I can succeed in keeping our house nice, so that when John IS home (when all the rest of us are sleeping), maybe he'll feel comfortable and like I did something for him.  Which is totally silly, and defeating.  None of the encouraging mommy blogs are encouraging to me, that all the other moms say "This was so encouraging!"

I know I need to focus on the gospel.  I need to get off Facebook and focus on the here and now.  And go to sleep (now).

I have ONE more week of first trimester to go, and after that hopefully I'll be a little more....cheery.  :)

Rainy Days

We have been having a good old time indoors as we celebrate our rainy days lately.  Okay, so it hasn't really been raining.  It was actually the "first week of summer," and Memorial Day Weekend.  I may sound like a teenager when I say this, but everyone was out and about, traveling, visiting, and pretty much having the best week ever.  But we were stuck indoors.

Being stuck indoors doesn't bother me all that much, but I have felt extremely sorry for Maryn and a little bad for Josiah, too.  Our zoo membership has run out, so there's probably no hope for going to the zoo this summer.  Poor Josiah has yet to see an elephant since he's become obsessed with them.  And Maryn points out to me at least three times a week, "We haven't gone to the zoo in a long time."

I know, sweetie.  I know.

So I try to make things fun for them.  But all the neighborhood kids are having so. much. fun. right outside their windows.  Maryn has been such a big girl, such a great helper, and hasn't thrown a fit yet about not being out there.  But it breaks my heart.  I guess this is what the Baby Blues looks like when you have older kids.  

Hopefully my belly will be feeling better soon, and we'll get out there, at least in the mornings before it gets blazing hot.

 Poor Josiah had to wear Maryn's PINK paint shirt.  :)

Washing a baby...this kept them busy for quite a while.

 We made these adorable snakes.  We did some learning about reptiles and snakes, too.

 Maryn and Josiah made a hide out under the baby swing, so I got them to make Indian (Native American :)) headbands.  Cutest picture ever.

 Owen.  He's so cute.  We are taking him to the doctor soon because he's had gunky eyes.  I think probably just clogged tear ducts.  He rolled over the other day, at 9 days old.  I couldn't believe it.  I am going to try to get him to do it again here soon.  And he has grown out of newborn diapers.  He's definitely our biggest baby so far.  And look at him...he's so contemplative.

 I think he's probably a genius.  He's a lot like Maryn in the way he watches me.  I know they say newborns are blind as bats, but I don't believe it.  This baby studies my face and even reaches for me--I know it!  He turns immediately when he hears my voice and SMILED, genuinely smiled at me when I sang to him.  It was the I Love You (from Barney) song.  What a precious sweet boy.

John got home at 10 am today and has the whole weekend off.  I get him for almost four straight days!

And we got a new washer today.  It is NICE.  Like, really nice.  Happy birthday to me.

Countdown to Baby!

The other day, we planted our flowers that Maryn and Josiah gave me at church.

 I wasn't able to bend down and help her plant them, so I told Maryn what to do.  She followed directions so well!  She definitely has a green thumb.  Our neighbor Heather is always outside with her plants too, and Maryn loves to go over and watch her, and ask a hundred questions.  It looks like if we ever move, we will have to have at least a small garden, like it or not.

 Last night, the kids and I made mini biscuit pizzas while John was at work.  It was so much fun!  And Josiah is doing so well at following directions, too.  He smashed down his biscuit just right, spread on his own sauce, put on his favorite toppings (mushrooms, pepperoni and lots of cheese), and was more than happy to eat all the ingredients as we prepared the pizzas.

Maryn loves lots of toppings--mushrooms, pepperoni, sausage, black olives, and just a little bit of cheese.  She eats all the toppings off, of course, and then doesn't want to eat the crust.  Josiah picked his little pizzas up like a big boy and ate them bite by bite.

We are having some good times as we wait for baby Owen to arrive!  Josiah has been really tough though.  I literally try to keep him outside as much as possible.  He does much, much better out there.  Indoors he is just a little monster, throwing fits and picking fights with his sister constantly.  It sounds like having a newborn will be loads of fun, doesn't it?

Nesting

First, man oh man, I hate myself when I read the last blog post because I sound so cocky about teaching!  Have you ever known a mom who writes one of those supermom blogs?  I don't read supermom blogs any more.  Only blogs of people I know who are humble and real.  So, sorry for acting like a moron.

I got the kids to bed just after 7:30 tonight.  When I came out of Maryn's room I saw the kitchen floor and said, "Floor, you are dirty.  And I have a brand new mop head that needs to be used."  So I pushed aside all the dirty dishes, filled the sink with hot water and Murphy's Oil Soap and mopped all the floors.  But then I realized while I mopped that the baseboards were dirty.  And that made me realize the walls were dirty and the cabinets, and several areas needed decluttered, and the laundry needed to be put away, socks needed to be sorted and put away, and the bathroom was dirty, and things smelled funny, and Murphy's Oil Soap makes wood things look so shiny, so I cleaned all the  wood things in our house, and that made me think of glass things so I cleaned all the mirrors and windows...  Then I did the dishes, made blueberry bread, and fried sausage for our lasagna tomorrow.  I only stopped a few times to play my favorite 80s songs, and take a few gulps of water (I usually missed my mouth a little bit and dropped water all over myself).  All that took me only two hours.  Then I took two Benedryl and three Tylenol, and then I threw up.

And so now you and I both know what nesting looks like.

Good night!  :)

Almost 34 Weeks!

Time for a pregnancy update!

This pregnancy has been rough.  Shwew!  Gestational diabetes has been a sanctifying experience.  The highest my blood sugar has been is 199.  They want me to stay under 120.  The first time it was 199 was because had the Maple Nut Blondie Sundae at Applebee's.  The second time was because I had a cup of sugar free pudding.  My second highest blood sugar was because I had barbecue sauce.

That kind of thing just makes me mad.  If I knew sugar free pudding (which is actually recommended on my diet) would cause a 199 blood sugar, I would have eaten another brownie sundae.

Other than that, I've figured out a few tricks on my diet.  First of all, I can't follow their schedule for me.  If I eat breakfast at a normal time for me (8:30), my sugar doesn't spike at all in the morning.  Second, a few cookies in the afternoon doesn't bother me.  Third, which I put a finally test on today with the pudding, I can NOT have dairy products like pudding or yogurt.  Cheese seems to be harmless.

In other news, I am having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions, which I've hardly ever experienced before.  A lot of low back, leg and pelvic pain and pressure.  Stuff that I never had before.  I wonder if this baby could come early?

Next week I think I'm going to have an ultrasound and exam to see if I'm dilated (fat chance) and test for Strep B.  Please pray that our baby is not considered "too large," and is not born with low blood sugar.  Both are risks of GD but neither one is too serious.  I also feel that he is in a strange position, which doesn't matter too much since I'm having a c-section anyway, but is kind of painful right now.

Valentine's Party

On Wednesday, our sweet neighbor Rebekah  invited us over for a Valentine's Party.  It was so much fun, and such a blessing to me.  After teaching in Immokalee for four years (where Valentine's Day is way, way crazy--the toughest holiday for me by far as a teacher!), I am not thrilled about having Valentine's Day Parties.  I was so happy to go to one that was not planned to by me.  I am so happy to go to ANY event not planned by me!

 First, they made Valentines' bags, of course.  Josiah is doing great with crafty stuff--even glue sticks!  He loves stickers, markers and crayons.  The things you see in the middle of the table, as a centerpiece, were little ribbon wands for each of the kids.

 Chloe and Lilia, two of our best backyard friends!  I love Chloe for her special 5 year old leadership.  Maryn usually lets Chloe be in charge of their play and leads the smaller kids in all kinds of pretend play, and I appreciate that a lot.

 Above, Miss Bekah was helping the girls (Ella, Ella Grace and Maryn) make bracelets.  I love this pic just because you can see all Maryn's curls!

 Love her.

And here is Josiah playing with his first sensory  box.  I filled a box with rice, measuring cups, heart shaped things, some plastic animals, etc...and he has been having a great time digging, dumping and finding hidden things in here.  A total winner.  I love this.  I love it, love it, love it.

Today we had Ella and Ella Grace over for some more Valentines activities.  We made sun catchers, filled big pieces of paper with all kinds of fun things Aunt Cathy sent us (crepe paper, stickers, foam hearts, ribbon, lace, foil, etc.), and did a few fun papers (dot to dot hearts, gluing on flower petals).  Then we read some books (Where's My Sweetie Pie? by Ed Emberley, such a good one) and played and played and played.  Then we had lunch with Miss Elise, Eli and Julia who came up and shared some of their lunches with us.  It was a great neighborly event.  Aside from the fact that all the little girls were pretty tired and were not getting along very well :)

I love our neighbors!

PS:  My hips hurt.  It took me about 2 hours just to "pick up" our house...not even really clean, just pick things up and sweep, wash dishes, etc.  UGH!!!!  I'm tired of this.

Sunday Sweetness

John and Maryn made omelets after church.  We also ate the cheesy potatoes I made late last night and of course, leftover Krispy Kremes!

Look at our tiny kitchen.  Our little house is starting to bother me as I get bigger and bigger.  It seems everywhere I walk I have to "squeeze" through something or use special martial arts skills to get where I need to go.  I've been tripping all over the place (including over my own children), hitting my head on things, and running right into walls sometimes because I underestimate my size and ability to balance.  Too much counterweight.

Dreams
It's harder to be content when I'm tired.  I had the craziest dreams last night.  I dreamed that all these people, probably every person I know, was coming up to me and asking me questions.  The questions didn't make sense, but I was trying to answer them.  Worst dream ever!

Then I had a dream I went to a trendy new church and their Sunday School Classes had names like, MMA and WWE.  MMA stood for "Mixed, Multi-Age," WWE was "Women" something.

Our church's Sunday School classes are called ABFs (Adult Bible Fellowships) and in Florida our Sunday School classes were BLGs (Bible and Life Groups).  I don't understand why they can't just be called Sunday School.  What's wrong with Sunday School?

Then I had a dream that one of our neighbor friends was storing her fingernail polish remover in Pez dispensers..  We went to her house and a little girl friend of Maryn's was opening the Pez dispensers and spilling fingernail polish remover every where.  It was a huge mess!  And her mom was so mad at the little girl for getting into things, and I just kept thinking, "But why is she storing her fingernail polish remover inside Pez dispensers?"

I'm tired, uncomfortable, kind of in pain, annoyed and frustrated, and emotional, but usually quite happy.  It's been a great weekend, but cold.  My joints hurt a lot.  I could hardly make it up the stairs and my hands are freezing up on me at times.  Our sermon and Sunday School class today was about contentment.  I think I'll go look over those notes and re-read the passages we covered.  :)  Happy Sunday!

I'm pregnant. I DESERVE to write a long-winded post about myself and my feelings that no one cares about.

Hi everyone!  I am feeling a lot better than I was the other day when I whined and complained and felt ungrateful and sad and entitled and selfish.  I still feel that way a little bit.  I think we all do to a certain degree.  I usually go through a little depressed state when I am pregnant.  I think it's just the hormones talking.  This pregnancy, I'm going to just come right out with it.

John and I had a date night grocery shopping last night at 8:30 pm.  Both kids woke up for our sweet neighbor while we were gone.  :)  Which almost never happens.  I watched her kids today in exchange so she could go grocery shopping.  Her baby slept the whole time (babies sleep?  Mine don't!)  and Maryn, Ella and Ella Grace played extremely well together.  Elise (downstairs neighbor) came over and we folded laundry together.  It was really nice.

I got our kitchen cleaned, mostly.  It's kind of difficult to get it cleaned because I'm always having to feed my kids or myself and John.  What a pain eating is!  I'm sort of on a 5 meals per day plan so there's always dishes to do.  Elise may have talked me into asking for (praying/pleading for) a portable dishwasher.  It seems stupid, but I just can't keep up with the dishes.  One reason is because I can see NOTHING from the kitchen, so if Josiah is awake, I really can't do dishes.  I can try, but I usually get interrupted...so I just wait.  And wait, and wait.  And then it becomes 8 pm and pregnant women, at least this one, can't do much at all after 8 pm.

I think I'm feeling very discontent.  I wish I had a dishwasher and I wish we could eat out more often.  I wish I could order pizza for once.  But I say that and you know, I am glad we don't waste our money eating out.  It is a waste of money, and there are other things we need or want that are more important or valuable.  I am just very whiny.  I realize this.

We got together with the Dooleys the other night!  The Dooleys were friends of ours in Naples (they live in TN now) and their daughter London was born two days before Maryn.  We were actually in the hospital together.  Stacie got me through being a new mom because we could sit and laugh and complain together without feeling judged too much.  It was neat for our girls and our two boys to play together.  Even though they didn't play all that well and we gave up and put on a movie!  It was a little late, lol.

Anyway, Stacie complimented me that I am a very content person.  She pointed out that we had a card table as a dining room table for a year and a half, and no washer and dryer for a few months, and no microwave for a year, etc.  But I am the most discontent person.  Now we have a table, a washer and dryer, a microwave...and we got all of them cheap or free.  Good things do come to those who wait, I guess.  But now I just want more.  And more.  And more.

I want little boy Nikes for Josiah!  I want beautifulllll maternity dresses so I can feel pretty even when I am fat.  I want to eat whatever food I'm craving at the very moment I crave it :)  I think this might be part of pregnancy.  Society kind of teaches us, "I'm pregnant, I deserve this."  I can't help sometimes but to think that's true.

Anyway, when we were with Nathan and Stacie, Josiah did so well.  He is such a little love bug.  He sat on Nathan's lap and Nathan rubbed the back of his head.  When he stopped, Josiah signed that he wanted more!  How stinkin' cute is that?  He hardly ever does that sign, not even for food.  But he did it for a guy he's just met to get him to rub his head.  What a little sweetheart.

Maryn, on the other hand, didn't really want to talk to anybody.  She just wanted to play with all of London's toys and not share a thing.  Ah, kids.

Coloring at the table!  Haha.

 Here's Maryn with the bear she won for the pumpkin decorating contest.  The bear has a spider on its head.  Too cute.  He's been her lovey the last week.

My poor baby is still stick, and I am starting to feel sorry for myself.  He just whines and moans all night.  I can't sleep with him doing that.  I'm such a light sleeper.  I got an eye mask to sleep with though, and it's really helping me a lot.  I did a pretty good job today about getting up, getting myself ready, kids dressed and ready, house is clean.  Josiah's been sleeping for 4 hours (8:30-12:30).  He had a 103.6 fever this morning, but it went down quickly after I got him up, moving, drinking and even eating.  He actually had quite an appetite this morning.  Thank goodness.

Anyway, I am super tired now.  Feeling out of body all day, like I'm floating above everything in a daze.  I feel bad being on the computer so much, but it's honestly the only way I can stay awake.  I researched some fun Thanksgiving activities.  But yuck, I do not feel like doing any of it.  But Maryn and I did do school (Play Doh, cutting, gluing, coloring, counting, reading), and baked bread, and made a healthy lunch.  MAN life is easy with just one kid!  What the heck did I ever do with only one child around all the time?

I LOVE my new slippers.  And I'm wearing earrings today.  Josiah already tried to pull them out.  Sometimes feeling fresh and pretty really does make a difference.

John works all day today and he has to go to class tonight.  God help me!  I don't know how I'll make it.  Starbucks, maybe??

Sick Day Number Eight

Well I am at the end of my rope.

I took Josiah to the doctor yesterday.  He had become unusually cranky even for a toddler with a bad cold, and I wanted to make sure he didn't have an ear infection.  It turns out he's fine.

Then Maryn, who I thought was doing so much better, was up until almost midnight coughing.  Then she woke up screaming at 4:00 because her ear hurt.

Argh!

So I was up from 4:00-7:00 with one or both kids.  I can't hold Josiah and sway with him like he wants me to because it makes me motion sick.  lol.

But pregnancy wise I am feeling pretty good.  I'm a little tired, but I'm pretty sure that's from my born children and not the in utero child.  Josiah is all over the place.  He's like a little cat.  He has to find the highest perch possible and sit right on the edge to freak me out.  Maryn is tired and therefore she's Miss Grouchy Pants.  Doesn't want to be touched, doesn't want us to talk to her, but wants us to do everything else for her, and wait on her hand and foot.

During the day though, they are fine.  Just a few coughing spells, some runny noses but nothing serious.  Should we go to the Family Fall Festival at our church tonight?  I want to go.  I want to get out of here and celebrate the best week of the year :)

The Plague

 Colder temperatures brought more than just winter coats.  We've also acquired a variety of cold symptoms.  Maryn is barking like a seal, Josiah is a little mucus factory, I'm a mess of morning, afternoon and mostly evening sickness, and John is coughing too.  John just finished ten straight days of nothing but work, work, work.  He has a three day weekend now, one in which we might have gone to the Halloween Party at the zoo, or the pumpkin patch.  But instead I think we will lay around watching movies...which is okay, because
it's not like Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday.

:-(  Boo hoo.  (Halloween is my favorite holiday).

 Not all is bad, though.  We got to play some pretty great rounds of hide and seek as a family, one of our favorite things to do.  Maryn is HILARIOUS.  And we also taught Josiah how to play Ring Around the Rosie, which is even more hysterical.

 When we play Ring Around the Rosie, Josiah always falls down at the end with us, giggles hysterically and crawls away, right down the hall.  I guess the excitement is too much for him!

Anyway, he really isn't feeling well, as you can see:

He was doing a lot better, so I didn't try to make an appointment with the pediatrician.  I tried at the seminary clinic because it's only $5.00, but there were no doctors available.  And today, I'm not sure if I can transport my kids to the pediatrician because I feel so dreadful.

I think my dreadfulness today is part pregnancy and part cookie dough.  I think I may have used expired eggs in the cookie dough, and it made me feel sick.  It's really not fair when I have morning sickness, because laying down makes me feel the worst.  Sleeping was rough last night.  I had to stay on my back and propped up.  I want to lay down right now, but all I can do is computer stuff and watch TV.  Even just reading a book is hard.

We have a busy week ahead, so please pray I feel better and have the sense to cancel the things that are beyond me.  If my sickness continues, I am asking for some Zofran, I know that!  My first doctor appointment is November 2!  We got into the best* doctor in Louisville and our newest family member will be born in the best* hospital.


*According to patient reviews.

hormone fluctuation

I am so emotional lately.  I think I cried six times today.  Once while at the pediatrician's office when they tried to say we owed them $70 when I know we do NOT.  The office manager came out and apologized to me.  I think that she felt so bad and if she had been a doctor, she might have written me a script for an anti-depressant.

I cried reading facebook statuses and blogs.  I cried as I tackled Maryn to put eye drops in her eye.  I cried as I said goodbye to another neighbor moving away.  

The other time I cried was when there were no parking spots at the pediatrician's office and signs said that if we parked at the business across the street, our car would be towed.  I saw a lady and her baby come out of the office, so I waited for her to pull out and she seriously took over ten minutes to get her kid in the car.  If it takes you ten minutes to get your ONE kid in the car, don't have any more!  Please!!!  So I pulled out, because I thought maybe she had to nurse or something.  But nope.  As soon as I pulled out, she pulled out, and another car took the spot.  Then I walked by this other car after I had hurried my very tired and wandering sick three year old and 90 pound baby across the street, and the lady inside that car was just sitting there texting when her appointment was clearly over.  Grr.

We're trying to keep Maryn and Josiah apart, and for some reason Maryn's eyeballs keep finding a way to rest themselves on his face.  What the heck.  How hard is it to keep your eyeballs off your brother's face?  Then she poked him right in the eye this morning, and this afternoon he poked HER right in the eye.  My kids are possessed and obsessed with eyeballs.

Maryn fell right off the big cart  double seat at Target and fell just so that her legs were stuck under the cart.  She almost amputated both of her legs right there at the Pharmacy counter.

So let this be your warning.  Don't give me a hard time today because I might poke YOU in the eye.  I mean it, too.

Three!

Just in time for my daughter's third birthday, we have learned that we will soon have THREE children!

I really like the number three.

Amanda has 6 letters.  Divide by 2.  Equals 3.
Louise has 6 letters.  Divide by 2.  Equals 3.
Erdman has 6 letters.  Divide by 2.  Equals 3.

We are so excited.  I had been feeling sick for three days straight, so I told John to pick up a pregnancy test at Target so I could at least know if I was pregnant or dying.  I took it as soon as he got home, and came out of the bathroom a couple minutes later.  Of course John was waiting for an answer, but I said, "I missed the stick."

You'd think by now I'd know how to pee on a stick, but I really did miss it completely.  I had to wait another whole hour before I could try again.  After I drank a bunch of coffee of course (What?  I didn't know I was pregnant!).

I immediately shouted, "A line is appearing!  I see a line!  John, I really think there's a line!"

John rushed in, "What?!  NO!  I'm going to erase it!"  And then he tried to erase it!  LOL

But then he disappeared for a while, and came back to give me lots of hugs and kisses.  Which was sweet but after a couple minutes, I had to stop him.  "You're making me hot," I said.  Because the hot flashes have already begun.

John immediately began searching for minivans.  I'm not worried about that.  I know God will provide.

But I am already stressing about baby names.  I mean, that's more important than a minivan, right??

Baby Number Three, you are loved.  And we are so excited to meet you.  To hold your little hands.  To kiss your little face.  To see you being hugged and adored by your big sister and big brother.

Our last week as a family of three!

Maryn has been so silly and SO verbal lately.
She makes us laugh all the time.

John is nesting, too!

Saturday, John really got to work. I asked him to move a few things and he ended up totally rearranging three rooms of our house! I guess this is one of the reasons I miss him so much when he's busy with school and work. He can get SO much done in so little time. What would take me an hour takes him 20 minutes. Now I'm feeling much better about things and more prepared for Josiah. Our new living room set up allows me to see more of our house, so I can keep a closer eye on Maryn if I'm tied up with Josiah.

We rearranged Maryn's room to maximize her play space and rotated some toys. Maryn has been more girly lately, so we were able to put away some of her dinosaurs and things like that, which I had from babysitting days. We made her a cute little kitchen center, and she's been ecstatic about the things we pulled out of storage. Her favorite train has been away for a month or so, so I can't wait to pull it out after Josiah is here! It'll be a special surprise.

Here's my girl and me posing before church on Sunday. Our last Sunday as a family of three!
Maryn posed like this all on her own and kept asking me to take pictures.
My cold is really terrible today. I hope I am better by Thursday, and that Maryn and John don't get it. If Maryn gets it, she's not allowed in the hospital to visit. That would be awful.

I think Maryn is getting the idea that a baby is coming to live with us. She knows and points out what belongs to "Jo-sigh" and talks about tickling his toes all the time. She has been taking a special interest in taking care of her babies, helping me fold diapers and do other things to get Josiah's room ready. Without too many temper tantrums, signs of jealousy, or possessiveness. I thought she'd be wanting to sit in the bouncy seat, but she seems to understand it's not for her to sit. Shwew.

Nesting + Back to School Season = I'm Going Insane

So don't tell anyone, but last night I was up past 11 organizing and watching So You Think You Can Dance. It's not all due to nesting. I did this last year around this time. I think it's the back to school jitters. I decided to drag out my planner from last year, replace the calendars with new ones and I made all new cleaning schedules and a color coding system.

Look at my beautiful cabinet! I am going to try using it for my quiet times each morning and my computer times in the afternoons. I have my Bible study stuff in there, coupons, most often used cookbooks and magazines, and I also hung birthday lists for the next two months so I can really try to send out cards. I hung a frequent address list for sending out cards, too. So I can remember to send Thank Yous for once in my life. But don't give your hopes up...some of you may get a card, and some of you may not. :-/ But I'm gonna try!

Since I know that Josiah will be here on Thursday (or possibly Friday), I suddenly feel like, AHHHHHHHHHH I must get everything ready (mentally, spiritually, physically) right now, solve every problem, fix everything we own and clean every little spot in the house. So that's what nesting is, huh? I never really experienced that urge last time. I think I thought I did, but it was nothing like this. Our sweet neighbors are gone, or else I'd go over and ask them to please make me stop cleaning, cooking, organizing, and writing Bible memory verses. Because I suddenly seem to think I must memorize the entire Bible like, um, yesterday.

And this time we have a toddler! I just flippin' realized I am going to leave her for at least a couple days, maybe more! MY BABY!!!! Agh, the agony. I've been carrying her around like an infant. It's not good, I know, since she's gonna have to share these arms soon. But she just isn't all that cuddly of a girl, so I just gotta hold on to her when I can. I had to make a list of all kinds of numbers for my mom if she needs something while she's here. What will they eat? How will they survive? Everyone is going to die without me, my house is going to fall apart, my organization system will be forgotten! MY SINKS will be DIRTY! My mom isn't going to Lysol after poopy diapers! We're going to get the virus again! Do we have enough to eat around here?

Honestly, you'd think I was preparing a bomb shelter for World War III. It's a newborn baby, Amanda. Chill out, girlfriend. Newborns are NOT that bad. He's just a teeny little thing that will probably (as long as he is NOT like his sister) sleep most of the time. Take a freaking. chill. pill.

I know. But this is the irrational kind of stuff that goes through a mommy's head when it's nesting season right? And now that a date is set...THURSDAY for crying out loud...oh my.

We don't have the car seat installed, the car is a disaster (read: DISGUSTING!) with boxes and boxes yet to be delivered to Goodwill, I haven't found the baby monitor yet and still don't know if it's even going to work. Where's the bouncy seat? We don't have a crib sheet yet! I need the breast pump out. I need to pack our hospital bag. I need to make sure we have batteries for the camera (oh my goodness, I hadn't even thought of that before!).

Okay. I'm going to go memorize some Scripture...obviously it hasn't been working for me too well!

Please Pray for Us

She doesn't look sick, does she?

I know that title might scare you, and this probably isn't a big deal. Maryn and I were both sick last night, and I'm really afraid of getting that stomach virus again. Last time I had it, as you know, I started having contractions. If I get it again and contractions start again, I could very well go into labor! I'd like to not go into labor under those conditions (exhausted, vomiting, intestinal issues) and I don't think it'd be pleasant if John were that sick while I was in labor, either. Anyway, Maryn vomited in her bed last night and that's how the virus started last time. Please pray God protects us from this illness. In the meantime, Lysol is my BFF and we are washing our hands like crazy.

My Growing Babies

Josiah News: We had a great ultrasound today. Little Josiah looked right at "us" and we could see his mouth moving and his little eyes darting around as though he were looking at us. It was so precious. We could see his little cheeks, and of course his hands and feet. His foot was way up by his head, and he is laying mostly head down but kind of horizontal, so that his right foot is poking out of my side. Which is really comfortable.

Things seem to be moving along better than last time. I have been having Braxton-Hicks contractions for more than a few weeks, and I've also had some real contractions that are actually pretty strong and a little painful. Which is excellent! Every contraction brings me closer to my baby and since they're not minutes apart or anything like that (more like a few each day), they're probably healthy and just helping me dilate. I'm already 1 centimeter dilated. All this stuff happening before I even reach 36 weeks is a pretty good sign that MAYBE I won't have to be induced and MAYBE I won't have to have a c-section. But I know anything can happen. Dilation can mean a lot, and it can mean nothing. However, I was in labor about 15 hours with Maryn before I was even 4 cm. dilated. So I'll let myself be happy about 1 cm. at 36 weeks!

Little Josiah is about 6 1/2 pounds. He is such a big little guy already, he could just come right now! But I know we need to keep him there for at least another few weeks. Please be in prayer that he might come around the beginning of August so that I can avoid being induced and also, most of all, avoid a c-section.

Maryn News: We had Maryn's 2 year appointment and met her new pediatrician for the first time. We really liked him aside from his making sure that, since Maryn doesn't go to any type of day care, she receives the proper amount of socialization with other kids. I know this is a little lecture I'll be getting a lot since we plan to home school. It's a stinkin wonder how any of our great leaders grew up to be normal, decent, intelligent human beings. I wonder if Abraham Lincoln's mom got lectured about taking him to day care.

He talked to us about safety issues, discipline, swimming, potty training, etc.

Anyway, Maryn is a perfectly healthy, smart little girl. She is in the 50th percentile in weight and the 75th percentile in height. The doctor says she'll probably be a little taller than average, and I hope she won't get too terribly skinny but stay in that 50th percentile range. She answered all of his questions and even opened her mouth and said, "Ahh!" when he asked to see inside. You should have seen her face when he was looking in her ears--a look of confusion and a little bit of anger.

We are going to get her vaccinations through the seminary clinic because they are free. So Maryn is going to love going to her doctor. They had Peter Pan playing in the waiting room and an aquarium full of fish. She got a Pooh Bear sticker, too. And to Maryn, it just doesn't get any better than that.

Vacation Update

Our trip to Minneapolis, Minnesota has come to an end. It was my first time there and I enjoyed almost every minute. The hours I didn't appreciate were the ones shortly following a trip to a Chinese buffet. Yes, on Tuesday night we ate at a buffet that was a little sketchy. Now I don't know if that's what made me sick, especially since everyone had the same things I had. But I felt very sick immediately and, stubborn as I am,, refused to throw up. Until about midnight.

And I was sick, sick, sick. And I was so dehydrated, and though I tried to eat a bit the next day I really couldn't keep any significant foods down. Then at 4:00 pm I started feeling some contractions. Which I didn't find surprising, but it's not the kind of thing I wanted to happen a thousand miles from home. I kept thinking, "I don't want Josiah to have a Minnesota birth certificate!" Because we have never lived there and that would be weird. Although he will have an Indiana birth certificate and we've never lived there, either. lol.

So because I was having contractions every 5 minutes on the dot, for about an hour, and because I hadn't really eaten a thing in over 24 hours (aside from a few crackers, broth and some noodles that I barely kept in), we decided to go to the hospital. They hooked me up to an IV, checked the baby's heart rate and my blood pressure, and made sure I hadn't dilated or effaced. The IV made me feel better almost immediately. It had sugar in it and some Zofran for nausea. It rehydrated me and gave me a few calories. The baby's heart rate was perfect (no distress!), my blood pressure was fine (no preeclampsia!) and I had not dilated or effaced (no other signs of labor). And my contractions had stopped as soon as we got in the car. Shwew! Has this pregnancy been a tad stressful.

We went back to John's grandparents, where Maryn had been with ALL the other relatives who had come over as a little send off party. She had a great time! And John and I ended up having a little date night. :) We watched three episodes of NCIS at the hospital. LOL. Anyway, John ate a taco and we went to bed.

Three hours later, John was sick, sick, sick. He was sick all night and into the morning.

Then we went to the airport to catch our plane, which left at noon.

Then we had a 3 hour layover (delayed flight) in Milwaukee.

We were both okay by the layover and the 2nd flight, for the most part. But the first flight was miserable. I was weak and still couldn't eat much at all. John was still absolutely miserable, obviously. And Maryn was being a typical two year old. It was not enjoyable.

But we loved Minnesota! John's grandparents live in a suburb of Minneapolis 35 minutes from downtown, past beautiful rolling hills of farmland. It is a gorgeous, gorgeous area. A fantastic state. I loved it. There's tons for families to do in Minneapolis, which is why it's always rated #1 (or in the top ten) for family friendly places to live.

And we loved staying with these two. John's "Grammy and Grampy," who are both in their 70s and still so active, hospitable, understanding and tolerant of our young family ways. Maryn loved them so much. She and Grammy became the best of friends, especially.
Here's Maryn keeping herself busy during our layover in Milwaukee.


Now we are in Ohio at my Mom and JR's house. There's an Alumni Weekend this weekend for my high school so we're going to try to do a few things with that. We will also get to see Maryn's first parade! Here's aunt Cathy swimming with Maryn in her new pool.
Here's Maryn doing Papaw's "hair."

I think Maryn's favorite thing to do at Grandma and Grandpa's house is play with the Play Doh. Mostly because people sit down with her for hours and play WITH her the whole time! Spoiled. :) Here she is playing with Jordan and Sara (my brother and sister) for a couple hours this morning.

We had aunt Cathy and cousin Darren come over for a barbecue and s'mores tonight after we swam in their pool this afternoon.

John and Cathy helped Maryn catch lightning bugs. Her first lightning bug jar! For some reason they don't have them in Naples. Or maybe I just missed them.
Someone had the bright idea that Sara and I sit on Mom's lap. Unfortunately I'm so large I covered up Sara's whole body. LOL

My CUTE, lovely family. I am blessed!

Mommy Anxiety: There really is a bigger picture.

Long ago, near the beginning of time, Satan told a little lie to Eve. This lie planted a seed of doubt in her heart that perhaps God didn't really love her. It is that lie that changed our lives forever, making us believe we can't rely on God. We have to do things on our own to get by. We have to plan. We have to control this and that. And as mothers, we often fear tragedy. What if something happens? Anything could happen at any time to us, to our husbands, or to our sweet babies.

I have been particularly anxious during this pregnancy and now I'm growing more and more nervous about that little part of labor called an.......episiotomy.......ughhhh, there I said it. If you don't know what it is, please don't worry your innocent little head. This little word and her counterpart (tearing) pretty much paralyze me with fear and dread. Because that is the only major part of labor I didn't get to experience last time, and I have heard plenty of stories to fill my mind with terror. This fear may seem silly compared to those BIGGER fears, like death, serious illness, etc. But any fear can become overwhelming, debilitating, paralyzing--from the silliest to the most dire. And right now my friends, the fear of an episiotomy is pretty overwhelming for me.

Worrying about this and worrying about ANYTHING is extremely silly. Worry goes back to that little lie Satan told Eve and it's the same little lie he tells us today. God doesn't really love you. He didn't really mean not to eat the fruit. Of course He wants you to be happy. God just wants you to be happy (have a c-section, girlfriend! Then you don't have to worry about it!).

Worrying about childbirth?

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16

Worrying about cancer?

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16

Worrying about your children?

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16

Worrying about your marriage? Your future? Your finances?

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16

When we FEAR it means we don't get it. We've forgotten we have a Savior. We've forgotten we have an eternal, perfect, heavenly home! We are listening to that little lie. There is no "but..." There are no excuses for fear. Whether it's cancer, whether it's divorce, whether it's death. We have a Savior. We have a heavenly home (you can be sure you do--look here).

"The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things...and the God of peace will be with you."

-from Philippians 4: 5-9


We must take these negative, fearful thoughts captive (2 Cor. 10:5) and REPLACE them with good thoughts. And what better thought is there than this?

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16

Restless and Sleepless

Sleep has escaped me and the muscles in my legs beg to go on a long, long journey far away from my body. These are both familiar side effects for me in pregnancy. So here I am writing a blog about it while I eat a Pop-Tart. I am now one of the insufferable people who complains about not being able to sleep, while on the internet consuming calories and sugar. So not only am I stimulating my eyes, brain and all my senses but I am also likely going to make my body even more restless. Ignorance. I know.

I have been trying to read books on my sleepless nights. To keep things interesting, I am continuing my reading of The Chronicles of Narnia. I am also read Dr. James Dobson's book, "Bringing Up Boys" as well as a book about church membership and church discipline that reads like a text book. All books that won't give me nightmares, won't necessarily keep me awake, and some that will even help me fall asleep.

Our downstairs neighbors have given up making their children go to bed. I guess it's that close to summer they figure why bother. Oh, how difficult those last days of school were as a teacher, when my heart ached to say goodbye to my sweetlings but they all acted so obnoxious those last days that I very nearly wanted to kick them all out the door.

Not actually. I actually wore my sunglasses all day that last day of school, crying to let my babies go on to the big bad world of second grade where I could not watch them or encourage them or "change their color" with the appropriate amount of bitterness and lecturing.

Anyway, perhaps the parents were partially to blame for the end-of-school year jitters. After all, our neighbor kids are not in bed well after 11 pm. And the raging fits start--right now, actually. The floor is shaking beneath my feet as some exhausted, irritable child stomps and screams obscenities at his or her parents. I can not sleep when there is all this noise. I just can't. I have considered ear plugs, but this is a luxury I expect to not have for the next 18+ years.

In my dreams, I am sleeping in a king size bed with John while I wear ear plugs and an eye mask while Maryn and her little brother sleep at my mother's house not too far away but out of ear shot at least.

In reality, God could call us to live in a delapidated apartment building in some country where people just speak loudly as part of their culture and smoke foul smelling herbs whose scent infiltrates our home and every pillow, carpet and teddy bear. In my life, I have learned that I am not that fond of living in other countries and I am not that fond of difficult people, either.

But what I do love is spending the day with my little girl. And I know sometimes those of you, especially those of you without children as of yet, may think I worship the ground she walks on, I assure you I do not. Please read these books by Dr. James Dobson: Bringing Up Boys and Bringing Up Girls. He raises some wonderful points, based on Biblical principles and, if that doesn't convince you, scientific evidence and statistics, about the family unit and yes, stay-at-home motherhood.

I taught Maryn how to give bunny kisses. Bunny kisses! I had almost completely forgot about them, and had I not been at home so much with her I may have forgotten them altogether. She rubs her nose against mine and I can't tell you how much I could drink her in. She laughs and laughs and rubs her head and her face against mine, like a little cat might do to mark me as her own. She saw Josiah move for the first time today in my belly when she was putting lotion on me, and she jumped away quickly. Then she shouted, "Come on baby! Come on!" She points to words in her book that she knows how to "read," and the ones she can't read, she sings, "A, B, C, D..." And she calls the green marker "green" and asks for the "cap." I taught her all that. And the ladies in the church say, "She was talking in whole 3 and 4 word sentences." And I think yes, she can do more than that if you listen. I mean, if you really listen and ask the right questions, but you may not know the right questions to ask. And she knows so many songs, but maybe not the ones you know. Because I am her mommy and while she has plenty of friends, aunts, uncles, mamaws and papaws and cousins and more, no one will be her second mother and no one will be her second father. Because no one can be quite as into her as us, and no one knows her quite like we do. And that is why I will invest in her and that is why we will live paycheck to paycheck if we have to. So she is known. So she is taught. So she is loved by the ones who can love her the most.