Hi! I'm back home now. I got home lastnight around 6 and I am doing very well. I have been walking around just fine, and I can go up stairs and dress myself and I can get up and down and I can lay on my side and everything. They had to cut vertically instead of horizontally and the cyst was even bigger than they had thought. They cut vertically then because it was so large and the dr. said it was "bloody." Sorry if that grosses you out :)

The worst time was yesterday morning. I was totally out of it and in quite a bit of pain, but by the afternoon I was wonderful. Winey called and I barely remember it! Sarah C. visited, and that was really nice. The nurses were all pretty nice but also pretty annoying...and they were the main reason I wanted to come home. They woke me up at 5 am to take blood. Bunch of nutsos.

So this one crazy nurse took my catheter out and I told her I had to get up to pee. I hadn't been out of bed yet, I'd been laying there for a good 24 hours. She told me there was no way I had to go because she had just took the catheter out, but I insisted...I swear I was about ready to pee the bed! But she insisted over and over that I didn't have to go! It was frustrating. So finally I just got up anyway, peed like a gallon of water and felt just fine after that. So that was the only trouble I had, really.

It feels good to stand up and walk. I took my bandages off and I look a bit like Frankenstein. They put me back together with staples. Ew... I go in Monday again to get them out. I told Vicki Wilson through email that it shouldn't interfere too much with my two-piece bathing suit in New Zealand (the cut is about an inch below my belly button and goes down about 6 inches). She was glad to hear it and said that maybe I could get a "complementary tattoo" to make it look better! Hahaha. (Vicki is a professor of mine). The Maori people like tattoos.

John is coming over tonight and we have the house to ourselves, plus Charlie, Mozie, and my aunt's dog, Ashley. It should be a good time. If you're around, you should stop and see us!

Sigh. So much to do! Travel agent, bank stuff, etc. etc...but it's been the weekend and surgery is Monday (tomorrow). It's really inconvenient to have surgery on a Monday. I have a lot of things to do. Trying not to think about all that.

My old youth pastor called tonight. That was super nice, and we prayed together on the phone. I love praying on the phone. It's so cool that I've had so many people praying for me this whole time because I totally feel it...just an inner peace you know? And no, it's not just the EXTRA inner PIECE inside of me (Mr. Furby). hahaha.

I feel like griping a lot. I keep erasing what I write because it's a lot of complaining. I'm not a negative thinker...it just so happens that this is a great place to let it all out. :)

I've decided that when I get a snake I am going to name her Melusina, after the mythical Fairy Melusina, a creature that was a woman most of the time but turned into a half-serpent on Saturdays. I think that sounds very interesting.

I also think my next cat will be named after a writer. I've had an artist (Toulouse), a composer (Mozart) and next I think I'll choose a writer. It all depends on what the cat looks and acts like, of course, but I think it'd be neat if it was a black cat or something and I named him "Eddie" after Edgar Allan Poe. Ooooooooooooooh. Or, if it was a girl kitty, I could name her "Jane" after Jane Austen. Orrrr I could name a cat after a Shakespeare character, like Desdemona.

Choosing names is a very, very important thing and should be taken VERY seriously.

Well, I have to be at the ol' hospital at 6:30 am tomorrow!! Happy Surgery Day! Every morning I've woken up lately, thinking, "Oh my goodness, is this the day I have surgery?!" And I start to panic. But tomorrow is the day. The big day. The day of the surgery that I don't know what will happen or what exactly they will end up doing. It's got all the suspense of a "Choose Your Own Ending" mystery. So...I won't be writing for a while. I'll be in the hospital a few days, and I'll probably be back home New Year's Eve. John is babysitting me on New Year's Eve. :) It's going to be the best New Year's Eve ever...I'll fall asleep at 8...I'll be drugged up on Vicodin....maybe we can make this a tradition!

I'm just glad there won't be saurkraut.

Eck!!!!

Well, Christmas was basically the same as always, except this year I received more money than gifts, which was a good thing for my current situation. I opened a new checking account today, too, which was certainly needed. My mom and I just got back from the mall, where if you know me, you know that I was most definitely taking advantage of the sale at Victoria's Secret. I searched a bit for summery teacher clothes, but no luck there. I really wanted to buy this excellent strapless bra sort of thing that would have been fabulous to wear with my black dress, but it cost 88 dollars. Yeah. So, sorry to talk about bras, guys who might be reading this, but you should know how much you save on not buying them (which leaves you more money to spend on us girls, eh?). :)

I spent the night lastnight with my dad at my grandma's house. My Grandma and great Aunt Mary moved in with my Aunt Chris about two years ago from Pennsylvania. The visit was quite an experience. My Grandma's memory is lost back in 1992 and she still thinks I'm about 9 years old. Everytime I tell her I'm in college she cries and tells me how proud she is. It's a recurring "surprise" and it always provides for something new to talk about. My Grandma and Aunt Mary left to go to the movies with my cousin Aimee, and my dad and I broke a lot of rules. We let the outside cat in the house and played with him for about an hour and fed him trail bologna. And we turned the heat up from 62 to 68. The cat provided much entertainment (he can CATCH trail bologna in his paws!) and it was like, 2 degrees outside lastnight. Poor kitty. We put him back out of course, and all was well. He was still alive in the morning.

My Grandma always tells me to use the "potty chair" in her room (you know the kind the youthfully challenged and people with disabilities use) if I have to go to the bathroom at night. That is really, really weird, and there's another really, really weird experience with the potty chair that I'll tell those of you who really wish to know.

My Grandma also always introduces me to my cousin, my uncle, and so on, just to make sure I know them. It really kind of makes for an uncomfortable situation because then of course, we say that we do know each other and my poor Grandma is reminded that she's lost her mind, and that probably makes her sad. But only for a moment...because after a moment, she forgets that she's lost her mind until the next time she's reminded, and the process repeats itself. She only knows that she has Alzheimer's for a second or two, and then...she forgets. So, it's really not so bad for her I guess.

Grandma and Aunt Mary will also never let my dad and I help with anything. I washed the dishes this morning and I thought my Aunt Mary might tackle me. And she could, too. She is a mean, green, fighting machine. :)

Grandma and Aunt Mary also think that all people in the house must be eating at all times and they get upset if you don't eat. Lastnight, I ate five cookies when I was already full, a huge apple, a piece of chicken, about 10 pieces of cheese (even though I really should NOT be eating cheese), about 8 pieces of trail bologna and probably about 10 crackers...all of that on a completely full stomach, leaving me no hope for the next few days and my poor little Furby that is now all crunched up in my tummy with a bunch of food that cannot escape. But I swear if I hadn't accepted what I did to eat, they would have attacked with their little old lady persistence. And that is the worst sort of attack mode in the world.

I love my Grandma and Aunt Mary to pieces, and while I love that they are nearby and I love being able to spend time with them, it is an interesting and challenging experience.

Tomorrow John is in his friend's wedding and I think I'm just going to the reception. I'm excited because I get to dress up. It's too bad my flouncy black dress won't get to dance ;-)

Funny Story!!!!

...stupid man behind me today in the big blue new family van because he was going 75 miles per hour in a 35 and I pulled out in front of him and was going 55 so he got all ticked off and rode my tail like nobody's business so I slammed on my breaks and he almost hit me! I wish he would have! I would have sued his butt for being a JERK! He tried to pass me IN TOWN! And on a bridge! When there were like 3 cars coming! Hahahahaha but I wouldn't let him! Ohhh no. I went just fast enough so he couldn't pass, and I looked in my rear view mirror the WHOLE time, and LAUGHED at him and he was yelling at me and flipping me off and I LOVED IT. So there! He should be happy I saved him from getting a ticket (or killing someone). What a jerk. There's no reason to be going 75 miles per hour in a 35. That's just not right.


Don't mess with me :-)

Update!

The foreign object inside of me is a tumor the size of a small grapefruit or a rather large orange that is attached to my ovary. My surgery is...I don't know when yet, but they will use a scope to check it out and if it looks "good" (non-cancerous, nice and smooth and shiny), they will do a bikini-cut (horizontal), and if it looks nasty, like all gooey and hairy and stuff, they will do a vertical cut, which takes longer to heal and is all ugly and nasty and I will never want to wear a two-piece again (and we all know how I HAVE to wear two pieces).

My last day of work is next Saturday, the 27th, and hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, my surgery with be the 29th. I REALLY hope it's the 29th because I want to be definitely completely healed by the time I go to New Zealand. I'll be in the hospital probably 2 nights, maybe only one, but possibly as many as three. I hope I sleep well in the hospital. I think I'll stay there as long as possible if I sleep well there because my siblings (and my parents) are so gosh-awful loud in the mornings (God bless 'em). And maybe they'll give me a couple extra doses of Vicodin in the hospital. Hopefully I won't get addicted to it again.

So the doctor said that sometimes these cysts can have hair and teeth and stuff. My mom and I joke about how I have a "Furby" growing inside of me and how in the world I will explain to John how it got there...

I swear I didn't sleep with Chewbacca!



It's funny! Laugh!

Okay, so short version of Chicago is first and longer version is second, plus some other stuff. Shwew. Sorry...

Too much to write about!!! Read what you want...

CHICAGO

John and I arrived in Chicago right on time, but we were a little late coming back. We missed our flight because SOMEONE (okay, it was me) forgot to turn the alarm on. It was just one of my ways of trying to find John's "angry" side. Close, but no cigar. He may have been a little flustered, but he wasn't mad at me. :-D (It was really just an accident...I didn't mean to.)

The highlight of our trip was the L-Train. All I could think about was how cool it was that that scene from "Save the Last Dance" was on the L...John and I, fortunately, resisted making out in public, and...he's not black, so we didn't get any awkward stares. I think I'm the only person on the L that stared at people. I have a bit of a staring problem. People just fascinate me, that's all.

We also went to the Chicago Art Institute, Shedd Aquarium, this crazy awesome mall, the "Magnificent Mile" and we ate a bunch of places, including Chicago's "best pizza" place, Gino's East (or something like that). Kendra, your hometown's pizza is better. Amazing. We ordered room service once, we took some taxis, and John could have bought a car twice as nice as the one I drive for all the money he spent. We spent a lot of time at Border's (thank you God, for giving me a boyfriend that likes bookstores...I LOVE sitting in bookstores and drinking coffee...it's one of the best things in the world...it WOULD be the best thing in the world if they had cats...but then John wouldn't like it...but I could go without him and there would be cats there so it wouldn't matter! Hahaha) and Starbucks, drinking cappucino (me) and lattes (John...or something latte-ish, who knows). I bought some books, a CD, a hat, and we went to an awful pet store down town where we witnessed a rat being eaten by another rat and a poor, poor, baby snake dying because they were feeding him millipedes. Millipedes! Poor snakey.

The first night, we went to see The Blue Man Group. Very interesting. You should see it the next time you're in Chicago, New York, or Boston. It's a little "different" so be prepared.

MY FIRST SWIM MEET

...was cancelled because the officials didn't show up. But I got to see John with his swimmers which was cool and now I am sure that it's not all a figment of his imagination.

MY FIRST DAY BACK AT WORK

...was today. And they threw me on register and left me all alone...I knew nothing about sales or promos or what was on package sale and all the customers thought I was an idiot and the managers thought I was incompetent. Blast it all.

EXERCISE AND OTHER HEALTH TOPICS

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that will be absolutely horrible and I am horrified that I have to go, but of course, since there's a foreign object growing in my body (that isn't a baby, mind you), it must be checked out. Sigh. How awful.

I elipticalled 3 miles today and did lunges and lifted and all that jazz! AND since I've been taking Prilosec, I've been able to eat whatever I want (except dairy)!!!! Praise God for making Prilosec.

Happpppy Holidays!

Tomorrow is my last day really at Muskingum College as a class-taking machine and with all my Muskies as a normal, full-time student, so to speak, and I would just like to use this quote/poem thing, that I don't know who wrote, but totally, totally summarizes my college experience on things that I have learned about people, about strength, about love, about friendship, about life, and of course, perhaps most importantly, about learning. I've learned so much about what I have to learn and what I don't know. And that no matter how far I've come, I'll always have further to go...but what is important is the present and enjoying today, living each day one day at a time and taking joy in its pleasures...every single one.


"After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure...
that you really are strong...
and you really do have worth...
and you learn,
and you learn..."

I posted yesterday and it didn't work!

Every once in awhile, I repeat in my head, "I am having an operation." It seems weird. "I am having an operation." IV's, anesthesia, drowsiness, pain, nervousness, fear, prescriptions, vicodin...This stuff usually happens to other people. Not me.

"I am going to Chicago on Saturday." Wow. That's weird. I can't imagine being there. "I am going to fly on a real plane for the first time on Saturday." Hmm. Nice! I'm excited. Strange. That sort of thing I never do. Other people do that sort of stuff. Not me.

"I am going to New Zealand in a month." Whoa. Isn't that weird? I certainly can't imagine it. "I will be teaching, I will be visiting Sydney, I will be riding a bike to work, I will fall asleep to the sounds of the ocean, I will meet a woman I've never met before and I will live in her home, I will be away from everything and everyone I know for three months..." Funny how strange that is. I'm not supposed to do that sort of thing. Other people are. Not me.

So there's a lot of things coming up in the next month, wouldn't you say? Things that I can't really imagine happening but inevitably will happen. Crazy. Things that aren't supposed to happen to me, but they are. I feel like...I'm living someone else's life, you know? Or watching a movie. Or the main character of a book. Strange.

Well, I went to the doctor today and it turns out that I have a "pelvic mass" and that I have to go back to the doctor next Friday for more tests and to arrange to have it removed surgically. This will involve a big old slit right down my lower abdomen. Yuck. No more two pieces for me. It will look like I had a C-section. :)

EVERYONE in the doctor's office was pregnant. A woman even asked me if I was pregnant! Ha!!

"Well, I do have SOMETHING growing inside of me, but it sure ain't a baby!"

The doctor was really nice, and I recommend her to anyone in the Orrville area. Amelia. Isn't that a nice ob/gyn doctor name? I think she's from Africa. She sounds African (and well, she looks African, too).

I talked to her for like, five minutes, she felt my stomach, and voila! I was done! And then I had to get MORE blood work! I'm so sick of needles...already...! But, I'm getting used to it. My pain tolerance is growing. Good thing. Definitely a good thing.

E-mail from Brigitte!

"The beach is so close that it will take you 60 seconds to walk to.
You can only see a little because of the sand dunes and the neighbours.But u can hear it at night easily and smell it."

I also found out what my address and phone number will be. I will give it to those who are interested, as I don't want to post it on the internet, you know.

And I will have the internet where I'm staying so I can talk to all of you! But...I'll update you on all the info later you know.

Funny Story

So I was walking down the stairs of Montgomery Hall today and a couple people in front of me, there are two very professional looking professors going down the stairs as well, having a polite conversation. The woman turns to the man, and asks, "Do you have a false nipple?"

Whaaaaaat?!!!

I instantly do a double take, thinking a student must have said that. But no, it was the professor. Then she goes on about schedules...and I realized that she had actually said, "Do you have a fall schedule?"

That's the sort of thing that happens when you have a hat and a hood over your ears. Haha.

Now, children, let's put on our BEST Arnold Schwarzennegar voices and say it together,

"IT'S NOT A TUMA!"

It's not a tumor! It's not. It's a growth. In my uterus. But...it's okay. Because apparently, that's really no big deal at all. And eventually, it'll go away or they'll take it out, which I'm excited for because I think it's making me hurt. Hopefully that's all that will happen. I'll find out more on Monday. Pray for me until then, though.

Guess what I just discovered? When I hit my lamp with my Nalgene bottle lid, it sounds like a real, live church bell. Or school bell. Same thing in the old days. It's really cool. Oh look! It's two o'clock! DING! DING! I can ding it whenever I want to.

Well, it's Wednesday and I have my papers almost done that are due Friday! I never thought it'd happen, but it did! I feel like such a warrior. A knightess? A childe, like "Childe Roland."

"Thus I had so long suffered in this quest,
Heard failure prophesied so oft, been writ
So many times among "The Band" - to wit,
The knights who to the Dark Tower's search addressed
Their steps - that just to fail as they, seemed best,
And all the doubt was now - would I be fit?" (ll. 37-42)

Childes these days, eh? They just never know when to quit.

So, right now I'm sitting here drinking orange flavored tanning lotion. It's actually required that I drink a gallon of it. Okay, so it's not tanning lotion, it's barium sulfate, but it really tastes like tanning lotion. I almost puke every gulp I take. I'm around the middle of my second bottle and I have to drink another one at 9:30. It's 9:05 right now. Oh geez, it's so gross.

At 10:00 I'm getting an ultrasound, and that's why I'm drinking BS. Hahaha. Get it, BS? It is BS, actually. Why not just put a tube down my throat and put it in my system that way?? I'm chasing each shot with some cranberry juice. Interesting combination. I hate fruit flavored stuff, especially orange...like orange tea and things. Orange candy is good, but not orange tea. And not orange barium sulfate! Ew I just burped. That was gross. Now I'm towards the end and this is the part where I start to get sick.

Oh dear...


So, I am not getting an ultrasound to see a baby, I'm getting it just to see inside my tummy, intestines, uterus, you know, stuff like that. I saw my mom get an ultrasound so I think I know what to expect.

Okay, well I'm off now...to the doctor and such. Stay tuned...