Apparently, walking on the beach may stimulate labor. So that's what we did tonight. Gorgeous! We too often forget that we live about 10 minutes away from it.

What's Happening NOW (update!)

What's happening now? Nothing. I guess I'm having the regular Braxton-Hicks contractions, which I've been having regularly for a week now, but that's it.

When I first found out I was pregnant, the date September 25th lit up in my head, so maybe that will be the day. Just like the baby being a girl lit up in my head in the same way. Maybe I have the gift of prophecy. :) My mom, either way, will get to experience my labor. I think she was trying to avoid that!

Little Maryn's daddy was three weeks late, so maybe she's just trying to be like him already.

Not a bad person to model yourself after, Maryn. But you're going to drive your mother crazy!

What's Happening

I was in the stages of "early labor" all night lastnight. It's lasted about 12 hours, so it looks like I'll be taking after my mom and her first pregnancy (which was moi!). This is actually a good thing, because when actual, active labor comes, my body will be a bit more acclimated and things should start moving faster and less painfully than if labor had begun suddenly. At least that's what the doula, Annemarie, said.

Lastnight was a rough night! I slept about four hours, so I'm going to try to sleep a bit more today and do some of the normal things I do. Right now, I'm going for a walk.

This is the stage where the hospital would give me pitocin to speed things up. However, pitocin makes contractions more painful and unpredictable (they start piggybacking or lasting much longer than 1 minute). I know I've said it here tons of times, but please do your research on pitocin if you ever plan on having a (or another) baby.

R e i n v e n t i o n

This one young man I know has decided to "reinvent" himself. It made me laugh (jealously) because teenagers can do these things, just change their style, so simply. Me, I'm stuck in rut. It would take a lot to reinvent myself. This guy wants to start dressing differently because people have apparently been stereotyping him unfairly. I don't know if people are stereotyping me, but I've been watching What Not to Wear quite a bit lately, and it's making me think.

I'm the type of girl they sometimes have on the show that is stuck in high school/college. Sigh. It's embarassing to say that, but it's true. I guess I'm so used to having this "cute" persona, I just rode with it. But it's time to grow up.

I look in my closet and honestly, the only things that Clinton and Stacey would approve of are Christmas gifts from my mother-in-law. She's much more stylish. She bought me the fitted jacket they would love, the dark skinny pants, perfect for short people like me, dark jeans and the nicely fitted collared shirts. But everything I choose is girly and juvenile.

Do I have the money to reinvent myself? Absolutely not. Plus, it's not like I need business wear anymore. And I don't think John would go for me suddenly shopping exclusively at Macy's and Ann Taylor. It's more of a JC Penney/Kohl's/Target life for me. And I already know how things work out in those stores. The women's clothes look old and frumpy. Plus they're too big for me, so everything needs to be hemmed. The juniors clothes are cute and fit me well. I need my very own Stacey and Clinton, plus $5,000. Maybe I should submit my application for the show.

the shower is the best place to cry

every night for the past two weeks, i've had contractions that feel promising. i go to sleep, hoping to wake up in a few hours with contractions so strong i can't sleep any longer. but then i wake up and there's no contractions, no sign of maryn. i pull myself out of bed later and later each day, and nearly cry in the shower. but i don't cry about it because i have a cold and that would make me miserable. and my phone rings and rings and rings and i want people to talk to me, i want them to distract me, but i don't want to talk, either. i don't know what i want people to do or say. i don't even know why i'm so sad because i know i'll have a baby soon no matter what.

Our midwife, Dawn, thinks that I am "teetering on the edge" of labor and wants me to try the castor oil today. I just mix two ounces of it in a fruit smoothie and drink away. It's a pretty aggressive approach to inducing labor and I hear it usually does bring on strong contractions. If you read this before tonight, please pray that it does bring on strong contractions that lead to labor, not strong contractions that lead to nothing, which is another possibility.

We may not be able to update here on the blog for a while, but John may try updating my facebook now and then to let you know how I'm doing. Or he might not. We shall see.


Dear Maryn,

Waiting for you is difficult. Please come soon.

Love,

Mommy

Short Hair, Big Belly

This is me, 41 weeks and two days pregnant.

Just a bunch of random thoughts

I got my hair cut off today! I love it. I was absolutely hating having all that hair on my head. I think John likes my hair better short even though he says he doesn't care.

I was worried about this mole that I have, but I have discovered that it's probably a wart. Grrrroooosss. Now I must get rid of it immediately. Any helpful hints would be appreciated.

John hung up the curtains in Maryn's room today. Maybe she was just waiting for them. I hope so.

My mom is coming on Wednesday. Maybe Maryn is waiting for her to come. I hope not!

Rosa has become recently obsessed with the quilt Grandma Erdman made for me. It's weird.

I am now taking almost 40 pills every day. I'm really sick of it.

I went to Whole Foods to get some pills (the Borage Oil) yesterday and I love it. I want all the smelly stuff. Someday when I have 20 million dollars I might buy groceries there.

John and I are eating pizza three days in a row.

John bought me a pumpkin spice latte yesterday. I love him.

We bought the 33 Miles CD and think you should, too! Most of you, I know, would probably like it. You can go here to listen to the whole CD: http://www.33milesonline.com/listeningparty

I bought some veggie "chik" patties made by Morningstar Farms and they are SO good!

I finally found some fabulous French dressing called Ken's something French with honey. I love the way French dressing tastes with cheddar cheese.

John took me out for breakfast this morning to Skillets, which has the best breakfast potatoes ever. I love him.

And...I have a cold. It's a weird, different kind of cold and I hate it. It's not comfortable coughing and sneezing when you're practically 10 1/2 months pregnant. I'm going to try the netty pot today. I hate it. But it makes me feel better. At least for a little while.

What would make me feel really great is a pumpkin spice latte, a large Coke and a large order of fries from McDonald's.

Midwife Tricks

We are officially 8 days late now, but our midwife is kind of changing that because apparently I told them the wrong date of my last cycle. So maybe I'm only 5 days late, which would be a relief. At least I don't feel quite as pressured. If she isn't here by the two week mark (September 28), I'll have to go to the hospital and be induced, so pray that doesn't happen. Induction is, in my mind, the WORST thing that hospitals do.

There are some more natural tricks in the whole labor game, and I've been doing a few. But if Maryn isn't here by Wednesday-ish, we're going to get more aggressive. Here are a few things that we have tried so far (it's a little graphic, so if you're not into it, please stop reading now! Guys...STOP NOW! This is for educational purposes only.).

Christopher's Pre-Natal Formula: These are herbal pills that make me have Braxton-Hicks contractions. It's like exercise for the uterus and helps it become strong and ready for the biggest workout of its life.

Borage Oil: I was taking 12 of these giant pills per day and now, for the next two days, I have to take 25! Borage oil is normally used as an anti-inflammatory, but pregnant women can use it to soften the cervix and pelvic bones.

Stretching...of the cervix. This is what my midwife did to me today...manually...and yes, it hurts as much as it sounds.

But now that she did the stretching and all this other stuff, I am dilated to 3 centimeters! This is very good news, as active labor begins around 4 centimeters, and sometimes even 3. Here are a few more midwife tricks we might be trying eventually:

Breast Stimulation: Ugh. I know this sounds weird. From one article I read, this is, apparently, the only thing that actually does work aside from drugs. And it's not what you think. You just hook yourself up to a breast pump and let it go at it. Simple enough, I guess.

Castor Oil: This is what I'm supposed to try around Wednesday, kind of a last resort. I just put some of this nasty stuff in a fruit smoothie and drink away. Eck.


So basically what I'm trying to say is: Pray, pray, pray that this baby comes this weekend!

Clean House

Have you ever seen the show Clean House? I've watched it a few times and it always motivates me to clean, organize, and declutter.

The show is about families who tend to collect a lot of clutter. But really, it usually ends up to be about families who have some deeply rooted emotional or mental issues. They are attached to material things for all sorts of reasons. The show's hosts try to get the people to sell as much of their things as possible in a yard sale, but it's a huge battle.

It's hard for many of us to get rid of sentimental things. I know I wish I still had a few things from my childhood, like my dollhouse and maybe some of my little dresses. But holding on to things can get way out of hand. Watching the show reminds me that I need to take about a monthly or bi-monthly inventory on my house. If I haven't used it in a month, I need to consider getting rid of it. After watching the show Clean House one time, I marked a day each month on our calendar as "O&D Day" (Organize and Declutter Day). At least this way, maybe I won't even have a chance to get emotionally attached to material possessions.

John and I have a problem with books. We like to keep our books just in case we need them for future reference or want to loan some of them to our friends. But amazon.com has helped me get rid of some, and the rest we may still use...but after a year or so of not even paying attention to them, we try to get them out of the house. Plus, some books are for decoration purposes, since we have very little decoration in our house, and they make us look smart and well-read!

Another area that often needs decluttered is the bathroom. Mostly empty shampoo and lotion bottles. Useless clutter that I think I'll use but I know I won't--so in the trash it goes. Then there's the refrigerator. Gross. Definitely need to declutter that at least once a month! Cleaning supplies. I limited my cleaning supplies significantly when I started using Shaklee products and other all natural cleaning methods (think baking soda and vinegar). It's sad when you realize you have five different types of shower cleaners. Totally not necessary or safe.

I encourage you to watch the show, and, if you're looking for a good book that will make you rethink your perspective on money and possessions, read the book Money, Possessions, and Eternity by Randy Alcorn. It's sitting on our shelf right now. I can loan it to you if you like!

Happy Decluttering!

Dear Maryn,

Waiting for you is not easy. Please come soon. I will sing to you, rock you, cradle you, cuddle you, kiss your little nose, and hold your tiny hand. I even dusted and vacuumed and made everything as clean as possible so that the air is nice and clean for you. It's not too hard to learn how to use your lungs. You'll be great at it because you've been practicing so long with your little hiccups every day. Gravity is going to be an experience for you, but it's not so bad. We know that you are big enough and strong enough, so you can come anytime! Everything is ready. Daddy worked so hard on your bed and your little bassinet. It looks so adorable. Your car seat is in the car. It's been there for weeks! You'll only have to be strapped in it for a few minutes. And just wait till you meet Rosa! You will love her when you're a little bit older. You will love your colorful bedroom and your soft, soft blankets. You'll love all the people that are going to come to see you. You have so many grandparents! Everyone is so ready to see you!

My Links

Maybe you've clicked on some of my links and wondered how I know some of these weirdos. Just kidding. They're not weirdos. They're my friends! So I'm going to introduce some of them to you.

First, World Vision is one of those places you can sponsor a child with. Our lives have been blessed since sponsoring Joseph Kiyingi from Uganda three years ago, and I encourage you all to try it.

Next, we have John Piper. He's not my friend because he doesn't know who I am, but John and I have been blessed by his sermons, which you can listen to free online. He also has great links to other people's sermons, books, etc.

Then we have The Infinite Cat Project, which my cousin, Autumn introduced to me through her blog links. It's a pretty crazy little website and you just have to see it to believe it.

After that you see a link to my cousin Autumn's blog. She is infinitely cooler than me, and a very good writer. Her blog is pretty laid back and honest, and at times hilarious, which I enjoy and appreciate. And she needs to post more often, by the way. ;-)

Then you see the Crawfords' link, which is written by Blake Crawford. He and his wife are good friends of ours and in our little "home group" where we "do life together." He just started blogging and we are proud of him!

Next you'll see Jeff's link. Ah, Jeff. Jeff has been my friend since I was 16. He and several other friends had great significance in my life as I figured out my life in Christ, and I am so grateful that he and other friends introduced me to things Christians like and do, like listen to ska and punk music, watch Bruce Lee movies, and sing songs like "Don't Judge a Man by the Hair on His Butt." He's a very talented writer and artist, and his blog is always interesting (when he updates it).

After Jeff you see Nathan and Bethany's links. Nathan is our worship leader at church. That's how I first knew him. And I first knew Bethany from working in the youth group with her. Now they are in our home group as well. They are both very talented artists, both in music and Bethany in photography. Nathan leads our youth choir as well, and John and I were able to be chaperones on their trip this summer. Some of you might recognize Nathan from the group TrueVibe as well.

Erin is next and our story is a little strange. We met her and her husband, Dan, in our natural childbirth class at the birth center. Bethany found out we were all in the same class from a picture, and it turns out they know Erin from when they lived in Tennessee (right?) because her brother was a member of TrueVibe. Weird! She just had her adorable little baby, Hope. And now we're pretty much blog and Facebook friends.

Cherie is after Erin, and I know Cherie from a lot of things. She and her husband were in our Crown Financial class before they were married, she worked with the youth group for a while, and now they are in our Sunday school type of class at church. She works with babies in a day care center and is at a crazy stage in life (new marriage, new house, new job, trying to have a baby), so her blog is always interesting.

Teri is pretty much, right now, a blog friend that I tracked down because I heard from others at our church that she had her baby at the same birth center. She has two young boys and her husband is a police officer. So naturally, her blog is very entertaining. Especially since she became obsessed with coupons.

Then comes the Pattersons! This is a weird relationship because I don't even really know how I know them and hardly do know them at all, but wish I did. Does that make sense? Jennifer and I met through friends and Southern Living parties. And now I keep running into them because of Nathan and Bethany...and Target. Jennifer and I always have things to talk about because she used to be a teacher and she is the sweetest person I think I've ever met. I wish she was my big sister. Have you ever met someone like that?

Kara is my Avon lady! She actually started me on selling Avon. We met in our new Sunday school class. We have a lot in common because she used to be a teacher, she likes makeup, and she adopted a little boy a few years back (which I intend to do someday).

I read lots of other blogs but like to make sure that I have permission to put your link here first, or at least know that you read my blog. Otherwise, it's kind of awkward. So if you want your link here too, let me know!

Pumpkin spice lattes remind me that...

...Jesus loves me.
...everything is going to be all right.
...fall is sweaters and birthdays and crunchy leaves and school and pies and apples and pumpkins.
...I can't wait to be in Heaven with Jesus and free pumpkin spice lattes.
...cold feet and warm hands aren't so bad afterall.

Cheers to you, Starbucks!

Pumpkin spice latte, you make me imagine myself in a red sweater, in a winter hat, staring out a big picture window at the falling snow, cuddled up with my sweetie, a hot cup of this latte in my hands. Oh how I adore your, sweet, sweet goodness, my lovely latte!

He's Got the Little Bitty Babies in His Hands...

I know to some of you this will sound really stupid and cheesy but here goes. Since I was about 5 months pregnant, I've been singing this song to Maryn, complete with motions on my belly that she seems to love and respond to:

He's got the whole world in his hands (rub a big circle on belly)
He's got the whole world in his hands
He's got the whole world in his hands
He's got the whole world in his hands (by this point she's usually very excited)

He's got the little bitty babies in his hands... (rock the baby back and forth, by moving hips and holding her on both sides)

He's got the mommies and daddies in his hands... (pat belly on either side, taking turns, which she ends up tapping back in the same places, as if she's playing patty-cake with her feet)

I was singing this song to her this morning. I can feel her body so clearly. Little feet, little knees, and her skinny little bottom! But today I got so choked up singing it. I thought yesterday could be the day, and that I'd be singing it to her, looking into her beautiful eyes by now. But she's not here yet, and I feel like I miss her like an old friend. I know it'll probably be only a few days, but when you miss someone this much, every day just gets tougher.

I am being patient, I feel patient, and I'm feeling great otherwise. I just want her here soon.

Confrontation at the Grocery Store

Now, you all know that I love my Publix Green Bags, and so does John. This is mainly for selfish reasons but started out environmental. First of all, I hate having all that ugly plastic laying around my house. It's just plain wasteful and trashy. And John hates carrying in a bunch of bags, some that have only 1-3 items inside, which anyone would find wasteful not only of plastic, but of time and money. Anyway...

Lately we end up in the check out line with this female bagger that doesn't quite get it. It's very awkward every time and I think she knows us now and is a little intimidated. She doesn't pack the bags correctly, and then ends up still giving us about ten plastic bags. When she gets down to the last few items, she starts asking if we want it wrapped in plastic, and I politely say, "No, there's room here, in this bag." And she apologizes, and says she didn't want the bread to get smashed or whatever.

But then she always gives up and just starts bagging things in plastic. We had our hamburger double wrapped in plastic today, all by itself. The eggs all by themselves. The two containers of refrigerated bread dough were wrapped in two bags all by themselves! And all I want to do is yell at her, "I don't want this stupid crap all over my house!!" Which is very mean and uncalled for and John doesn't like me saying things like "crap." But that is what plastic bags make me think of--ugly waste--like bowel movements. And the bags are brown, just to add to the agony of it all. I leave the store frustrated, frustrated at the girl and frustrated with myself for being frustrated over something so trivial.

So today I just threw all the plastic bags she gave us into the recycling and hopefully they'll be made into something useful. Next time I am just going to storm up there and say, "DO NOT USE ANY PLASTIC, PLEASE!"

!!!

Everyone should know that it really bothers me when people use an exclamation point after almost every sentence. I don't think any of my blog readers do this, but if you think you might be a culprit, please stop, because you're making a fool of yourself.

Thank you.

More 9/11 Thoughts

9/11 has passed uneventful. I looked back at all my previous posts on 9/11 and I didn't even mention it there, so maybe the past seven years have been about avoidance for me. But now, for some reason, I feel like talking about it.

I was a sophomore at Muskingum College. I had probably stayed up till 2 am the night before, so I was still asleep at 9:00. Kari, of course, was not sleeping, and neither was my roommate, Lindsay. Lindsay was being her silent self, while Kari was knocking on our door, talking in her normal voice and turning up her own televison across the hall, saying a plane had crashed into one of the twin towers.

Go away, go away, go away...I remember thinking.

But Lindsay turned our television on, so I figured I better watch it and listen, because if Lindsay sees anything as important, so do I. It was sad, is all I can say, as I had no idea what was going on yet. Then, another plane zoomed in and hit the other building.

And that is when I felt that the whole world was crashing down around me. That my country was going to become a battlefield. That I was no longer safe. That anything now could happen.

Classes were canceled and the girls in our house ventured to the living room to watch TV for what I remember to be most of the day, trying to reach our parents, trying to reach out for some security. Friends came over to visit us to pray, to talk, to feel safe.

Today

Today is my due date and no sign of Maryn.

Today is also 9/11, and since that day in 2001, I've wanted to take this day to stay at home, watch the specials on television, and have it be a kind of memorial day. I was disappointed that shows like The Today Show didn't really have anything on, that I know of. And I am uncomfortable that today passes as if many have forgotten.

I understand that many don't want it to become a holiday where we have barbecues and that memorializing today would in some way humor the terrorists (well I don't know about that). But I think today should be memorialized. What do you think?

Mommy Tip

I know I've been posting a lot lately, and I normally try not to do that because I know it's hard for most normal people to keep up with it. However, I am bored and need a place to put my thoughts, so you're just going to have to deal with it.

I have a MOTHER TIP for you. Now that I am going to be a mother, I am FINALLY entitled to give mothers advice, right? I have been waiting for this day since I was 12, when my brother was born, and my mom would always say, "Let us be the parents, OK?" Because I always thought I knew best. And I still pretty much think that way but know I'll be humbled in about three years when Maryn is a living nightmare.

Talking on the Phone with Small Children hanging on you, running around, falling down the stairs, hitting you, swallowing bobby pins, etc.

Moms (especially stay-at-home moms) need adult human interaction. This may only be possible by phone some days, so telephone time is treasured. I speak from experience on this one. When I talk to several of my friends on the phone, we are constantly interrupted by what seems to be, on my end, a three-ring circus that has gone very, very wrong. Like a tightrope walker just fell and the elephants are on a rampage.

I am a firm believer in prevention and preparation. It's not developmentally appropriate to expect your two year old to understand why mommy has just stopped helping you build a castle to talk into a device that, for some reason, spews the sounds of mommy's friends' voices. They're thinking, "What's the big deal? Why does mommy want to talk into that thing and not talk to me?"

So comes this idea from the book Positive Discipline. Place a basket or container on top of your refrigerator. Decorate it if you wish. Put some special toys in this basket that your child doesn't normally play with, and add some new ones from time to time to keep the basket a novelty. Check out the dollar spot at Target or the little birthday party favors for some good, cheap ones.

When the phone rings or you call someone, bring the box down for a time of special play. This way, your little one still feels special and you can be encouraged by some adult conversation.

THIS IS NOT FUN ANYMORE!

This is what I feel like:
I want to:

Go shopping for skinny clothes.

Clean and keep the house looking spotless.

Bake up something yummy to surprise John when he gets home or to surprise friends with delicious treats.

Hold my baby!

But I can't do any of these things, and that frustrates me. I know the impatience is in my head, but I can't make it go away. I want Maryn to come, and at least if I have to wait another week or two, I want to be able to do something constructive with my time. But I feel miserable and lonely...I want her here. Or at least some McDonald's french fries, or a mocha frappucino. And I do think it's mostly psychological. But I can't make it stop. Ugh! I'm so antsy.

Child Slavery in Haiti

As if Haiti and her children didn't have it bad enough.

This from John Piper's blog at DesiringGod.com:

"Doug Nichols has been on the cutting edge of caring for street children since before some of you were born. He is one of my heroes. As Founder of Action International, Doug draws my attention to child slavery in Haiti. The children are called restavéks (stay-withs).

He writes: “Let me share a few paragraphs from the recent book A Crime So Monstrous, by Benjamin Skinner:

…[Slaves] are everywhere. Assuming that this is your first trip to Haiti, you won't be able to identify them. But to a lower-middle-class Haitian, their status is 'written in blood.' Some are as young as three or four years old. But they'll always be the small ones, even if they're older. The average fifteen-year-old child slave is 1.5 inches shorter and 40 pounds lighter than the average free fifteen-year-old. They may have burns from cooking for their overseer's family over an open fire; or scars from beatings, sometimes in public, with the martinet, electrical cables, or wood switches. They wear faded, outsized castoffs, and walk barefoot, in sandals or, if they are lucky, oversized shoes...

[Y]ou may see their tiny necks and delicate skulls straining as they tote five-gallon buckets of water on their heads while navigating broken glass and shattered roads.These are the restavéks, the 'stay-withs,' (child slaves) as they are euphemistically known in Creole. Forced, unpaid, they work from before dawn until deep night. The violence in their lives is unyielding. These are the children who won't look into your eyes. (-6)

Nationwide the number of restavéks ballooned from 109,000 in 1992 to 300,000, or one in ten Haitian children, in 1998, to 400,000 in 2002." (7)

Hebrews

This past week, our assignment for our Bible and Life Group (that's like our Sunday school class) was to read the book of Hebrews. It was next in line as we read through the New Testament. The book of Hebrews is always an interesting trip. I love it because it shows many of the links between the Old Testament and the New Testament, the main link being sacrifice.

When I was little, my mom and Aunt Cathy would read Bible stories to me. They always told me they were true, and I knew that there was something very, very special about them. I wasn't sure what was so special about them, but every time I am reminded I am overwhelmed by the mysteries of God's will, his grace, and that He adopted me into his family. That I get to be part of a legacy that dates back to those Bible stories of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

One thing I always found confusing (and sad) was the sacrifice of animals. Of course as a little girl, this was completely odd to me. But the shedding of blood was, and is, necessary for forgiveness (Heb. 9:22). Then I got a taste of all the rules (laws) for sacrifices, the specific way the tabernacle was to be set, and the weird things the priests had to do. None of it quite made sense, and I know if I had been a Jew back then, I would have constantly messed up and felt guilty all the time.

But praise God, he put me here on earth after the birth, the death, and the resurrection of Christ. He became the ultimate sacrifice himself, so that I don't have to live with the guilt of my sin. In the Old Testament times, God had to distance himself from His people, but now we can have close, personal relationships with Him. I have direct access because of Jesus Christ.

Now I know that all those weird laws in the OT were symbols for the coming Christ. And that God had always intended to create me and adopt me as His own. Me! To God, I could be nothing. He doesn't need me. He doesn't need anything. I could be dust. Instead, he has made me a descendent.

"That is, it is not the children of the flesh who are children of God, but the children of the promise are regarded as descendents." -Romans 9:8

Is this normal?

This is less than a week's worth of my laundry, plus 8 shirts

that were hung in the closet.

This is less than a week's worth of John's laundry.

For Staci

They hug you,
Hold your hand,
Pat your shoulder,
And you know
It’s good to be touched.

But each touch leaves you
Thirsty for his chubby
Fingers and tiny cuddles,
Sweet, sweet smiles.

They don’t know what to say.
Ruining the sadness.
Breaking into your realm,
Where you want to be.

Be strong.
Be weak.
Just be.

Keep your head up.
Sink down low.
Lie on the linoleum kitchen
Floor. You can cry,
You can be. Just as long
As you be.
Keep being for me.

Enjoy the belly while it lasts!

I never thought I'd be one of those girls that posts her pregnant belly online, but I know I have family in Ohio that wants to see since they've missed the gradual change in my body. A lot of people were looking forward to me getting fat. But here you see that I didn't get too fat (yet) and let's hope it stays that way! And I apologize to those of you that think this is kind of sick or weird.

These pictures were taken by my good friend, Bethany Gaddis, who has her own little photography business, Perspective Photography (please visit her photography site by clicking here!). If you live near Naples or are visiting, definitely consider hiring her, as she's very good and very affordable, and will take pictures of you basically wherever you want, and you will love her very, very much.

When we send out our Christmas cards, which will likely have pictures of Maryn on them this year, I'm sure you'll get to see some more of Bethany's work. And you can contact Bethany on her blog right here or here in case you didn't catch that the first five times.

Poor Puppies

I was watching Ellen today, and was touched and heartbroken by the story of an organization called Island Dog. In Puerto Rico, there is an area where people commonly just drop off their unwanted pets. This area is known as "Dead Dog Beach," and many of the dogs are just that--dead, or on the brink of death.


This organization rescues the dogs and either nurses them back to health or takes them to a shelter that can nurse them back to health. Here is a before and after picture of Gracey, a dog very blessed to have been found.

This story was not shocking to me, as I am very familiar with the stray dogs roaming around Immokalee, let loose by their owners who no longer wanted them.

I am a serious pet lover. If you know me, you know I love my cat practically as much as I love anyone. I am convinced that dogs and cats have personalities, feelings, and yes, emotions. Animal cruelty is a serious issue, and we just have to teach our children/the next generation better.

Always spay and neuter!
"In 6 years one unsterilized female dog can produce 67,000 puppies. One unsterilized female cat and her offspring can produce 420,000 kittens in 7 years." -Islanddog.org

Always buy from a shelter.
"There is an estimated 450 "pet shops"selling unhealthy, uncertified, and poorly kept animals in Peurto Rico. Many of these shops are illegally vaccinating and treating dogs. Most pets will find the streets their home when they graduate from their "cute stage." -Islanddog.org I bet this happens in the 50 states, too! $300-$700 for a purebred dog from a breeder is too much money when you can change the life of a dog like Gracey. And...many of these animals that need homes ARE purebred.

Educate!
When I was teaching, I always took two weeks to teach about pet care and love for animals. You would be surprised of the horrible stories and comments I heard from my students. I won't even share here because it will sicken most of you. If you are a teacher or work with children, teach the kids respect for animals and how to properly care for them.

Take Animal Cruelty Seriously
Also as a teacher, if I heard a child joking about something mean or inappropriate they did to an animal (bird, snake, lizard, whatever), I took it very seriously. On the humane society's website, I read, "While some children kill insects, few torture pets or other small creatures. If allowed to harm animals, children are more likely to be violent later in life. Animal cruelty, like any other violence, should never be attributed to a stage of development."

Adoption
Take animal adoption seriously, and what type of animal you adopt seriously as well. If it doesn't work out, always take the animal back to the shelter where you got him/her. Now is a great time to adopt since Tropical Storm Fay and Hurricane Gustav. Many pets are abandoned or lost after hurricanes.

Thank you for listening to my lecture. When you think about adopting a pet or know someone who is, remind them of homeless pets.

Girls, Girls, Girls

In our little home group, which includes four couples, we have a total of 6 girls (soon to be 7) and one boy. Here we have Peyton, Avery, and Brooklyn fawning over Jovie, the newest addition. She's "talking" and giggling now. It's so adorable.



In other news, as you can see here, I think we're going to have a
little problem when Rosa's little sister is born. Rosa, like so many
three year olds about to embark on big-sisterhood, has reverted
back to her baby stage. I caught her actually sleeping in this
little bed, but she woke up and jumped out quickly. I snapped
this shot just before her jump.

It was a kid kind of day.

I visited Immokalee today and went to my old school, where I saw many friends and several special kids. I can't even explain how close these kids are to my heart. They looked at me with slight bewilderment, not sure if it was truly me. Then they shyly came up to give me a hug. Which was really more like hugging my belly since that's where a seven year old's head usually is. Some have gotten taller, and they all look older. My students from last year are in second grade now. Second grade! They're so big.

But do I miss it? If I had gone back to teaching, I'd have a new class. Not my old class. And I am happy right now to remember my class from last year, tie them in a box, and keep them seven years old forever. Cheyenne, Alejandro, Carlos! They're just all so precious.

Because I was there at the school during lunch, I missed having my own lunch, so I had no choice but to stop at McDonald's on the way home. It was 2:00 by then and I was famished. McDonald's, I believe, is practically the antichrist, yet I still love it. Really I do love McDonald's. No restaurant's fries come close to the salty, greasy goodness of McDonald's fries. And their Coke! How is it that their Coke tastes different? It's incredible. I am in awe!

I wanted a milkshake, too, but I resisted. And an apple pie and an Oreo Flurry. But I resisted ALL those things. Which should totally make up for having McDonald's french fries, crispy chicken sandwich and a regular Coke.

Can I just TELL you how good this Coke is?! Ahh! I could bathe in it.

Oh, to be there again!

Five years ago yesterday I was writing this from my little room at the Lighthouse at Muskingum College in New Concord, Ohio:

John is visiting this weekend, hopefully, an event for which I am very excited, although I am trying really hard to be cool and nonchalant about it. It's kind of exciting this way, anticipating our next meeting...it certainly adds to life.

Cute. We had been dating for four months by that time.

Here's a picture of Muskingum College's lake. It's so beautiful there. Many friends of mine have just graduated from high school and are in college now, some in Ohio. I miss this time of year, I miss Muskingum, and I miss my friends. I wish I would have enjoyed my last year there a little more. But I hope to someday go back and for it to be the same as I mostly remember it, with friends I trusted, feeling safe and at home, and the smell of fall.

Free Hugs from the Fat Girl

I wore a shirt to this little women's Bible study this morning that makes me look extremely pregnant. Clinton and Stacey (What Not to Wear) would say I broke every rule in their book of fashion no-nos for larger sized women. So I, of course, drew a lot of attention. And this attention I like for the most part.

A few women, all into the grandmother stages of life, ran up to me to hug me. Literally ran, as much as an average older woman is capable, squealing with delight. I'd never met or seen any of these women before, yet they felt compelled to hug me and shed their many blessings upon me. If any of you think that's awkward, please raise your hand.

So I'm not alone on that one? That's what I figured.

Nursery Photos

We're almost done with the nursery. "We" mostly meaning John, as he has to hang up curtains and some shelves. I feel so sorry for guys who marry girls like me. :)

A lot of people are asking for pictures of Maryn's room, so here are a few. Sorry if this post looks stupid to you, as I can't really figure out this picture thing and don't feel like taking the time to fix it.

It was a serious team effort. John started everything off and taped off the entire room and helped me clean it out a bit. I drew up a plan and went to choose the paint and supplies. My friend, Alicia and her fiance Bradd came over to paint the two shades of blue. John went through and touched up everything around the ceiling and trim. Then I took a few days to paint the lily pads, dragonflies, and cattails (inspired by the bedding and the pictures, courtesy of Target). John put the crib and changing table together. I decorated the totes in the changing table because they were a bit ugly with some characters inspired by the bedding. And I'll have you know that I DID sew on those buttons on the turtle and it was a pain. And I'm never sewing again.

insomnia

It's three a.m.

I'm wide awake.

I've been awake for two hours.

I'm sitting in the baby room.

I guess my body's practicing.

Voting

Next Tuesday I get to vote! I am very excited and have just finished researching all of the candidates. If you are a Republican Collier County voter, I encourage you to vote for these two ladies in our primary:

Kathy Curatolo
Julie Sprague


Our snake is crazy! He keeps drinking water and spitting it out at the glass. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen him do.

just us

This morning I woke up a few minutes before John and I carefully listened to the silence, reflecting on our nearly three years of marriage together. We've really had to depend on each other down here in Naples because of the lack of family and friends, and oddly enough, I am grateful that we've had this time, so much time, alone. To define our marriage, ourselves, and who we are as a family.

I loved when we escaped cheesy Easter celebrations to go to Key West on a whim. With a little girl, we probably won't be able to skip Easter because someone will always want to have us over for pagan rituals like egg hunts (smile).

I love that we go to bookstores after an already long evening at church and eating out just to sit and read books that we'll never buy. With a little girl, I'm sure we'll have to call it a night early...if we're even able to make it through an entire service.

I loved when we took two little kids from school to Magic Kingdom for a weekend and got to be their friends and not their parents (and we got to drop them off at home afterward, too!). Or when we went to Epcot and MGM all by ourselves and rode any crazy rides we wanted to. That we had enough money to buy season passes to Disney World was a miracle itself!

We're able to walk out the door at a moment's notice. Even though I usually have to walk back in a couple of times for something I've forgotten. We can go anywhere we want to and not have to worry about a babysitter. Or budgeting for babysitters.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "Your life will never be the same." I know that. And I want to assure everyone, I loved these days. I mourn that they are almost over. But it was time for them to end, and we will be fine.

It had come to a point where I was lying in bed at night, in the wonderful silence, and imagining little feet running across the hall. And my heart would ache to hold a little body in my arms, crying or not. I know parenthood is exhausting. I know everything will change. But it is time for us to begin a new chapter, a new season. And we will be fine.

I loved this time with John. I honestly appreciated every moment. But now I say goodbye to these days, and welcome the ones to come. My heart is heavy but walking on clouds; it's difficult to explain. But we will be fine and our baby girl will be wonderful.

I love

Your eyes still closed,
Ready to open
Almost.
I love
To study your laugh lines
Before you have the chance
To smile.

When I wake up
To find your side
Empty
I love
To hear your steps
Coming
For a goodbye
Kiss.

When I think
Of past regrets
And sadness begins
To set in
I love
To be reminded
That it all
Led me to you.

Your hand reaches
Over to mine
For no reason.
I love
To melt
And savor
That moment.

I love.
I appreciate.
I cherish every moment
It’s been just you and me.

Don't worry, it's almost over.

Pregnancy has been such a blessing, and I have actually really enjoyed it. I grew up hearing a lot of pregnancy (and labor) horror stories from my very candid mother, aunts, and their friends. I expected hemorrhoids to be simply one of the worst things ever experienced, and honestly, it's not that bad. I expected terrible back pain and have had almost none (thank you, God, for that!). I thought that I would gain massive amounts of fat but still feel pretty good about the weight I have gained. Many women have shown me their delightful stretch marks and I haven't had any of those (and I'm sure John is grateful for that!). And then there's morning sickness, and though I sometimes still feel nauseous, it was never too bad either.

I am tremendously grateful that this pregnancy has gone so well. But some things have just really caught me off guard.

For one thing, I expected swelling. I always hear about swelling from pregnant women. My swelling hasn't been too bad so far, but when it happens, I get very emotional. Which I can blame the hormones for that. Yesterday I spent a lot of time getting ready for church because it's one day a week that maybe I can feel pretty for a little bit. And I did look like a cute little pregnant woman. But as we were leaving, I tried to put on my shoes and none of them would fit. I sat down on the couch and cried. Cried like a little baby. I don't know why swelling has such an effect on me, but one of the reasons might be that no one told me how it would feel. It doesn't hurt, necessarily, but feels awful, itchy, and makes me look like a troll or elephant foot. On the day I was supposed to look pretty. On the day where I have to sit in church for a few hours and can't elevate my feet. Oh, sadness.

They are still swollen today despite drinking massive amounts of water, elevating them, and wearing loose clothing. So I think I'm going to be swollen for the rest of the pregnancy. I guess I'm just going to have to get used to it.

Other things have caught me off guard, too, like the leg pain, the pain in my hands, the pain I feel in all my joints and muscles every morning. But I can be grateful that my back doesn't hurt, I don't have stretch marks, morning sickness wasn't so terrible, and hemorrhoids aren't that bad! Thanks mom, Cathy, and Cheryl for somewhat preparing me.

Goodbye Razr :-(

I received my new phone yesterday. Here it is, a Blackberry Pearl.

I didn't want to get a new phone because I love my Razr so much, but as texting becomes more and more popular, I'm finding I kind of need a keyboard of some sort, and the Blackberry Pearl has that. Plus, it's not bulky and ugly like a lot of the Blackberries. I'm having a really hard time getting used to it, though, so if you call me, please be patient. Also, it usually takes me a very long time to get to my phone (if I can even remember where I put it), so don't bother leaving a voice mail...I'll probably be able to call you back in five seconds.

So far, when people have called me, I haven't known what's going on. I've become slightly technologically challenged in my old age. The texting is great. It's still going to be tough to get used to, but I can see it will be much faster to type.

Razr, you'll always be special to me, and will probably go down in history as my favorite phone ever. Oh, the new Razr, which is almost exactly like the old one, is $200! I could get an iphone for that price. My Blackberry Pearl was $50. Good deal, I'd say.

John got an iphone. Spoiled! Let it be known that I made a sacrifice and should therefore be refunded $150. Which I would probably spend on a changing table. Oh, priorities.

Encounters

I took the kids to the park today and brought along a book to read in the shade like I suppose any normal fat woman would. The book was The Truth War by John MacArthur. John MacArthur is a conservative evangelical Christian--some may be more familiar with the word "fundamentalist." This makes him one of John's heroes and someone he quotes a lot, and our beliefs pretty much match up to his, at least on the very important things.

His book The Truth War basically speaks out against postmodernism and the Emergent Church as well as cults and the like, stating that the false teaching done by false teachers (apostates) is the worst sin of all.

Now if you have no idea what I'm talking about, bear with me because the story gets better.

So while I'm sitting there reading this book by John MacArthur (which is actually very, very ironic), this Mercedes pulls up, a guy in a suit confidently emerges and saunters over to me. He says he has a pamphlet for me about global warming. John MacArthur still in my hands, I am very overly polite, I'd say, commenting on the cute polar bears on the cover and thanking him profusely for the information. I'm not kidding, I really overdid it.

He leaves and I think, "That was weird. Such a Jehovah's Witness thing to do. Maybe the Going Green phenomenon will become all door-to-doorsy just like the Jehovah's Witnesses. Wouldn't that be interesting?!" I know, I'm such a dork.

I immediately go back to reading John MacArthur because the truth war is still more important than global warming. Half an hour goes by. The kids are being crazy on the teeter totter and I try not watch because I know someone is going to get hurt but I don't want to be overprotective and psychotic. I read about cults, Jehovah's Witnesses, sabellism, etc. It's getting extremely hot now and I fan myself with my global warming booklet and BAM! Out falls the Watchtower. And I laugh and laugh at the irony of it all, wondering why God didn't give me the opportunity to actually speak to them about His truth and the divinity of Christ.

So, to make it up, I figured I'd tell you all that funny story, which I'm sure none of you find funny at all. And I feel compelled to tell you a little about Jehovah's Witnesses, as I know a lot of you may just think of them as nice people who share their faith a lot, which in all honesty, we should do more often ourselves.

Jehovah's Witnesses

Jehovah's Witnesses believe that Jesus Christ is Michael the archangel, which means they strip him of his true deity, that he, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit are one. This cult's beliefs are nothing very new, as believing Christ is not fully God is an apostasy that keeps rising up again and again, when the Bible is quite clear that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one and they are equal.

"Jesus said to them, "Verily, verily, I say to you, Before Abraham was, I am." John 8:58

"Whosoever denies the Son, the same has not the Father; he that acknowledges the Son has the Father also." 1 John 2:23

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give to them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them to me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. I and my Father are one." John 10:28

Rosa

My beloved Rosa, my first child, how I adore her. This season has been rough. First we moved to a new place. There's no lanai, which was her favorite spot in the old house, but there are stairs. The stairs have led to some weight loss and many fun times. She likes to stare at us through the rails from high above, especially when intimidating company is over.

Also, we keep moving or replacing furniture. She loved sitting high up on the old couch when it was turned on its side, but we moved that to the garage. She was excited to see we brought her a new chair and ottoman only to realize it does this unusual rocking motion, which practically sent her into shock.

I started babysitting three little kids that don't understand her ways. They don't know how to read her expressions like we do. One says, "I want you to pet me," one says, "Feed me," one says, "Feed me immediately," one says, "If you pet me right now, I will bite you," etc. They don't know that you have to pet her from the side, starting with her head, with a firm but gentle stroke. But they try, and they're good kids, but Rosa is certainly overwhelmed by them.

Rosa has called dibs on two rooms in our house: the playroom and the baby's room. The playroom has obviously been confiscated by three young children and the baby's room has been nearly destroyed with hundreds of things scattered about, none of which are very comfortable for lying. She's not even allowed to lay on the nice firm bed. And what's more, there's another new chair in there that does that weird rocking motion.

Rosa has always loved to lay on our chests/bellies, but my belly has grown so much she can't lie there any longer, and if she does, some strange thing inside me pokes at her.

Poor, poor kitty! What will become of her? How will she deal with a new baby? I'm anxious to find out...

Countdown

Today is August 11, 2008.

My due date is September 11, 2008.

Let the games begin!

Olympics

It's Olympic time and John likes to watch every sport.

I like to watch swimming and gymnastics.

Don't worry, in 5-7 weeks, I'll stop whining about pregnancy stuff.

This week has been insane and I have no idea why. What did I do? Why was I so busy? Because everything takes me three times as long, that's why. I have to switch activities every 10-15 minutes like an ADHD child. I have almost no attention span. My back hurts if I sit for too long, my butt hurts if I walk for too long, and my legs hurt if I stand for too long.

The GREAT news of the week is that the chiropractor (who pretty much knows everything) told me I probably need to eat more salt because a.) the soreness in my legs could be caused by lack of salt and b.) my pancreas apparently feels swollen which apparently means I need more salt. And she also said I should eat less carbs and sugary snacks.

This works out really well because my cravings throughout the pregnancy have mostly been for salt. Cool that pregnant women crave what they need! But now that she told me this information, I've been wanting nothing but ice cream...which has not been a craving for me at all, until now.

I know, I'm a mental case.

Baby Showers and Tingly Hands

Yesterday Bethany and Alicia hosted a baby shower for me. It was phenomenal. The food tables were gorgeous (Alicia's family runs a catering business--lucky me!), Bethany came up with some super creative little keepsakes from the shower, and we were showered with love for about 3 hours. It was wonderful. We feel so blessed to have our little Florida family. I'll try to post some pictures later.

I woke up yesterday with numbness, tingling, and pain through my hands up to my elbows that lasted throughout most of the day. I knew immediately what it was: carpal tunnel syndrome. My mom had it while she was pregnant with my brother, Jordan. But she was a waitress at that time and surely I shouldn't have it so bad, right?

Not to mention the pain in my legs and butt that feels as though I lifted weights for 3 plus hours the day before. So after about three hours of this, I was nearly ready to cry in normal Amanda panic mode. This is what I was thinking:

"Am I going to feel like this for the rest of my life? I'm not even going to be able to hold my baby. I probably have osteoporosis. My bones probably have holes in them and are going to start breaking."

And I had flashbacks to the idiot doctor that told me in college that I should not have chosen to pursue a degree in Early Childhood Education because I had arthritis so badly throughout my body I wouldn't even be able to pick up my own children by the time I was thirty.

But then my mom called and told me it would pass and I would be fine. I ended up making it through the day and though it hurts again today, I know it will be better, Maryn and I will be fine, and I'm not going to worry about it anymore.

Thanks, Mom. :)

In the Womb

I watched an amazing program on National Geographic today called In the Womb. It showed a lot of 4-D Ultrasound videos and computer generated clips to give a very realistic picture of what it looks like inside the womb beginning at conception.



Because John and I have been reading so much during this entire pregnancy, we have been constantly overwhelmed at the miracle of life, and the stages of a baby's life, beginning at conception. That the heart is beating when the baby is three weeks, which is usually about three weeks before a mother even knows she is pregnant. That a baby opens his or her eyes as early as 18 weeks. That a baby decides if he or she will be right or left handed by the thumb he or she prefers to suck on in the womb.

It's incredible stuff. I was teary eyed the entire time.

But I warn you: If you think abortion is acceptable, you may not want to watch this program. You just might have a hard time sleeping at night.

Excited!

I am so excited about my Florida baby shower that's coming on SUNDAY!

By the way, if you didn't get an invitation, please let me know and don't be offended. I am a really super crazy insane forgetful person lately. And maybe Alicia just made a huge mistake and forgot to send you one! I'd love to see as many people as possible.

I love parties, especially when I'm the center of attention. I know that makes me sound really selfish. But it just makes me feel loved when others gather around for some life event of mine.

I'll never forget my favorite birthday. When I turned 21, my housemates at Muskingum College had a surprise party for me. I kind of caught on and knew something was happening, but I was SHOCKED when I saw how many people were there. That definitely made me feel special.

I really don't like surprises, though. So no one throw me any surprise parties. Besides, nothing will ever compare to that night. Thanks Kendra, Veronica, Kari, Crystal and Lindsay!

Summer Fun

This is me 33 weeks pregnant with only about 7 weeks to go! Not too bad, I'd say.


This is the pool!


Tracing Will's face with a wipe-off marker on the shower door. Such laughs.


The clubhouse I put nails in the wall to make happen.

John and I played Connect 4 with Maddie for an hour. She won twice. She's quite determined.

New links!

I added some new links! Now you can check out some of my friends' blogs. Many of my friends have stopped blogging, but here are a few for now. If you want to be removed or added, let me know :)

Nesting.

I've heard the word plenty of times, especially recently. When asked about the state of our baby's nursery, I've been replying, for the past seven months, "I've done nothing with it!" And this is still the case. We're in the final weeks and I am not, definitely not ready for a baby to live here.

John was a little more on the ball than me, and has constructed the crib. I went through and sorted her clothes, removed all the tags, laundered them, and folded them. But only because I had to. I didn't have a job or anything else to do.

Women keep saying, "Wait until the last month and you'll go into the nesting phase!" And her husband nods to John with wide eyes of warning that would send shivers down most soon-to-be fathers' spines.

Well, Saturday I woke up at 6:15 am, alert and enthusiastic, ready to decorate the baby's room. I did some research online, drew up a plan, figured out what colors we need, and I am ready to go. I even got John to go thrift shopping with me, since I can't do much with any of the clothes, toys and blankets we've received when all we have in the nursery is a bed and I'm a little bit freaking out about not having a rocking chair. Where will I put the rocking chair anyway? Everything seems more complicated with a two-story house.

I just found out that next week I will not be babysitting. So I think it will definitely be painting week. PLUS my Florida baby shower is this weekend and that means I'll have more fun stuff to go through. I'm so excited.

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was John's birthday. It went by hardly recognized because we've been so busy this week. Instead of going out for a special dinner and such, John chose to go to our Childbirth Education class.

My husband is the most godly, the most amazing man I have ever known or ever could have dreamed. I take the time to lift him up today because he doesn't nearly receive the recognition he deserves. He doesn't preach in front of crowds every Sunday, but his knowledge of the Bible and dedication to reading God's Word exceeds most others'. He doesn't write books, but his thoughts and interests are as complex as the several books he's read in the last year about swimming, running, history, theology...

John wakes up very early to be sure he can get in plenty of work hours to support our family. He'll do little things around the house like start the dishwasher even though it's five thirty and most of us would be brain dead at that time. And he never forgets to kiss me goodbye and say he loves me.

John is a leader of quiet strength who teaches me and holds me accountable but has almost never hurt my feelings or made me feel inadequate. And trust me, I am very susceptible to those feelings. I call him when I'm lost on my way to the mall and he doesn't laugh at my idiocy, despite that I have been there dozens of times.

After a long day at work, he will come home and run anywhere between 5 and 10 miles. Then he will help make dinner or sometimes make the entire thing.

John knows and remembers every little thing about me, like that I don't like to be frightened. So he'll make sure I know he is home and he won't jump out from any corners or try to come up behind me unexpectedly. This seems silly, but it means so much to me, to feel safe in my own home.

He doesn't torment me with disgusting guy things, like putting his armpits in my face (I hate armpits) and the other nasty things a lot of men do. Use your imagination for that one.

John truly loves me as Christ loves the church (see Ephesians 5:25-33) and I feel he gives himself up for me daily, loving me as he loves his own body and making me feel radiant.

Though John's discipline, strength, and his love for me isn't near the depth of Christ's, these qualities in John have been a concrete model of Christ in my life and His love for me. Because I am so overwhelmed by the grace God has shown me by giving me such an incredible lifelong best friend, I am better able to understand the unsurpassing love of Christ. I thank John for teaching me that, not with his words, but with every action he takes.

John, you are a blessing to me, an example of Christ and the grace of God, because I know I've done nothing to deserve this life. I truly thank God for you every day.

Lessons Learned

This may not interest most of you, but I know some of you haven't had the pleasure of being pregnant yet but would like to be someday. So this is partly for you. It's also to remind me of how to do things better next time.

BEFORE getting pregnant...

I am going to do squats with two fifteen pound dumbells at least three times per week.
I am going to strengthen my back.
I am going to save money to visit the chiropractor more often.
I am going to become a great swimmer so that I can actually swim while I am pregnant, not just do strange exercises in the water that probably aren't doing anything. The pool is the ONLY place I feel absolutely comfortable. So this would be a great way to stay fit.

Everyone says "You need to walk while you're pregnant!" Walking is like slow and steady torture. Not only is it boring, hot and--boring, it hurts absolutely every single inch of my body. So I mostly just work out in the pool and do various Pilates kinds of things. And if you have anything to say about it, you can...

...sorry, pregnancy hormones must be surging right now.


:)

Summertime...

When I was little, my mom would pack ham and cheese sandwiches on white bread, some fruit (usually watermelon, plumbs or peaches), little Hugs drinks and soda, and we would go swimming all day at a place like Caskey's, which was a pond where little guppies swam near the shore.

I tried to recreate this wonderful memory a little bit by buying ham and cheese this week, along with some peaches and watermelon. But this never quite works for us because we get ham that has no preservatives and Publix doesn't cut it like Beuhler's does and the bread is always wheat and I never use mayonnaise anymore. The watermelon here never has any seeds and therefore is NOT the watermelon I grew up with and does not taste nearly as juicy and scrumptious. And I certainly don't drink little Hugs or soda. AND I definitely don't go swimming around in ponds in southwest Florida for obvious reasons. And I don't have a cute little cooler to carry everything in, either.

I can't even walk in the grass in my sandals, much less bare feet because of fire ants, prickly grass, and weird pesticides.

So I guess I'm a little homesick because summer in this place doesn't feel quite right. I don't want my baby to experience summer this way.

Crying

I had a crying episode today. Don't worry, everything is fine. I'll probably write about it tomorrow. If I write about it right now, I might cry again.

But it made me think of how easy it used to be to cry. We cry when we're little, and then we're done. Now I cry and my face gets horribly splotchy, my eyes swell up, my nasal passages become incredibly congested, I get a headache, and when the whole episode is over I have to wash my face and apply makeup to restore some sense of decency in myself. Crying has led to this whole embarassing, uncomfortable fiasco. So I try to do whatever I can NOT to cry (for instance, NOT seeing P.S. I Love You would have been a great idea).

The little girl I babysit cried today, too. But she managed to stay lovely and beautiful as she cried, like a little princess. Then she stopped and everything was fine. No stuffy nose, no headache, nothing.

Why does this happen to us as adults? What is the purpose?

What a relief.

I officially have the soon-to-be mom jitters. One of the things that jitters me most is the temperature of our house, especially at night. John and I both get very hot during the night, so we keep our house between 71 and 72 from 8:30 pm-7 am. I have been worried that this would be too cold for a baby because of what other people tell me. But all the while I'm thinking about people up north who I know do not keep their houses at 75 degrees all winter. That would be insane. Also, I am absolutely positive that if we were to keep the temperature at 75, I would NOT sleep well. I would not get used to it, either.

So being the internet person that I am, I did some research of my own. I looked at FIVE good websites and this is basically what they all said:

"Baby sleeps best when the temperature is consistent and cool. 'Most moms actually keep the nursery too warm,” says Ryan. Try to keep the room temperature between 68 and 72 degrees. Putting your crib in the right spot is also essential. “Pick a location that isn’t in the direct pathway of your air conditioning or heating vents,” says Herman. Sudden temperature changes will startle and disturb baby. Also, keep the crib away from windows to protect baby from drafts and outside noise."

So there! I was right and, to all the rest of the people telling me otherwise: you were wrong!

I can't wait to hold you, baby.

Today is July the 11th and we are about two months away from meeting our baby girl face to face. She is having a great time making herself known right now, though, by poking out her little body parts like a poltergeist. It's incredible to feel where her head is, and then think, "Oh, that's definitely an elbow," or an arm, a leg, a foot.

In the childbirth class, we are learning about pain management. One of the most interesting things Phyllis, the teacher of the class, said, is that we'll probably be in labor how we are when we are sick. So this is me when I am sick, all in a very whiny voice:

"Leave me alone!"
"Can you get me some water?"
"I want my mommy."
"Will you rub my head/back?"

So John definitely has a lot to look forward to.

We also found out that John is allowed to actually "catch" the baby, which he may or may not decide to do. But I think that would be an amazing story to tell.

Disturbed

I am so angry and disgusted right now.

It is really disturbing and heartbreaking to see teenagers' myspaces with borderline or actual pornographic images or language on them. Especially when I remember those teenagers being 3 years old.

If my 12-18 year old daughter was posting things making light of disgusting sexual encounters, she would be off the computer for life. But you know, there will be other consequences for their choices if their parents don't provide consequences for them. And there will be consequences for the parents, too.

Adventures in Babysitting

Day two of my adventures in babysitting is over, and I must admit it's a pretty easy job. If I can do this instead of teaching, I would be a happy camper. Yesterday we stayed at our house all day besides a trip to the neighborhood swimming pool. That caused some stir-craziness and the kids really started to get on each other's nerves. But today we went to a free movie at the theater, the library, and the ice cream shop and things went much more smoothly.

If I were a stay at home mom...

I know that babysitting for 10 hours each day isn't like being a stay at home mom, but from this experience I can predict some obvious things that would be benefits and drawbacks. I'm thinking the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.

One big thing that I wasn't looking forward to was the extra mess and my house looking like a day care, but I have found it remarkably easy to keep things clean. Now this has a lot to do with the kids being older, but even so I think I could keep the house fairly clean. While I was teaching, however, not so much. If I went back to teaching with a baby or with any aged child, I can promise you our house would be a disaster Tuesday through Saturday.

Now about having my ideal four children...

I can not believe how much these siblings fight. It really drives me nuts. I am trying to teach them how to communicate a little better and work out their own problems instead of tattle taling, screaming and retaliating. Ha! If I had to deal with all the fighting during all the waking hours for at least a few years of my life, I would absolutely lose my mind.

I'm thinking if we have four children, they will be spaced apart a bit more. And definitely not three. The same little girl always gets left out.

4th of July

This Florida 4th of July actually turned out to be a nice one. I wish I had taken more pictures. Sorry about that. My camera doesn't take night pictures very well, and I forgot to take them while it was still light. On Thursday, we went to an outlet mall where they had food, a waterski show, and fireworks. We met our friend Bethany and her two kids there, Jaxon (3) and Jovie (about 3 months old). So here you see me and Jaxon, both with uncertain looks on our faces.

On Friday, we went to a friend's house, who lives near the Naples Pier, on a canal. So here you see a very fuzzy picture I tried to take of the hotel across the canal. I'm sure that though the picture isn't great, you can imagine how beautiful it was with fireworks.

Thank you Alicia and Bethany for entertaining us!

Pleasure Me Pink

Next week is Pig Week in the Erdman house! It's a great way to kick off my little summer day care for three kids, all siblings. You wouldn't believe how excited I was to get on the computer and make plans for the week and a menu. It probably isn't normal. It's probably pretty scary. And that's why I am going to tell you about it.

We're going to make pigs in blankets and read the books Pigsty and If You Give a Pig a Pancake. We're going to re-enact the Three Little Pigs in a silly version and we're going to make Three Little Pigs houses out of straws, pretzel sticks, and blocks.

I think I'll just die of pleasure.