Happy Reformation Day!

One of my favorite bloggers, Tim Challies, challenged his readers to blog about Reformation Day today, which is the 491st Anniversary of the day Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the church.  I was planning on doing some actual writing today about it all, but I am tired and brain dead.  So I copied this from Tim Challies' blog.  Anyway, Happy Reformation Day!

And visit the blog tomorrow when I'll put up some pictures of our Halloween festivities, including Maryn in her ADORABLE Halloween costume.  

I'm not ashamed to admit that Halloween is my favorite holiday.  But I don't think of it as a scary holiday, even though I know its history.  I can't even stand the commercials and some of the decorations that are out this year.  Too scary!  Halloween should be full of laughs, dress up and sugar, not screams and eeriness.  What do you think about Halloween?  Is it wrong to celebrate it?  Is it wrong to LOVE it as much as I do?

Here's some cool stuff about Reformation Day from Tim Challies:

Reformation Day Symposium - 2008 Edition

Today is Reformation Day—the 491st anniversary of the day Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of Wittenberg’s Schlosskirke. That small act triggered a series of events that forever changed the world. It stands as one of the most important events in all of history—though an event that has been largely forgotten. Today we remember that day and express our gratitude to God for raising up men such as Martin Luther.

I have invited other bloggers to post their own reflections on this day and I am collecting them here in this symposium. If you would like to add your own, simply send me an email or add a comment and I’ll add your contribution to the list.

*****

12:00 PM UPDATE

Th’eternal Promise offers a three-part article on Christianity vs Calvinism.

Ron Man in his worship notes (PDF) says that Reformation Sunday is not just for Lutherans.

Gairney Bridge writes about the audacity of the pope.

Justin Pearson says that the Reformation continues, even in 2008.

James Grant looks at “The Beginnings of the Reformed Tradition: Calvin, Bucer, Vermigli, & Bullinger.”

Dispatches from the Valley of the Shadow of Death shares his Reformation Day address.

Ray Rhodes writes about Luther and prayer.

Stay, Stay at Home My Heart shares her idea for a Reformation Day party.

*****

10:18 AM UPDATE

Martin Downes offers a Reformation Day challenge.

Then Face to Face images a world without Luther.

Jared Wilson offers five solas for evangelicalism today.

Strengthened by Grace celebrates with a look at solus christus.

Boaly asks for ideas for celebrating Reformation Day.

Listening to the Wind reflects on what God has done for us.

Relentless Grace writes about a love for reformational theology.

The Merrie Theologian takes a light-hearted look at a few of Luther’s lesser-known resolutions.

*****

Daniel Hames writes about “the dangerous thing about faith.”

Stephen Macasil gives “Analysis of John Knox’s Argument That the RC Mass is Idolatry Before the Bishop of Durham (1550).”

Rebecca Stark says that the Reformation was all about the gospel.

A Second Reformation writes, “Here in Québec city we are celebrating the 20th bay of the Église réformée du Québec (The Reformed Church of Québec)this year and tomorrow my little local church is hosting a big party for the entire province.”

SynerJACK writes about Roger Williams, the American Reformer and looks at one of the many social extensions of the Reformation.

Gospel Centered Musings compares Rob Bell to the Wild Boar.

D.J. Williams warns against the temptation to take our Bibles for granted.

Darryl Dash follows Luther in saying “the whole life of believers should be repentance.”

Doug Smith looks at the implications of sola scriptura in planning worship services.

Detours and Devotions thanks God for continued reformation.

Nephos takes a brief look at the story of James Guthrie, a Reformation martyr.

Boston Bible Geeks looks at the Reformation’s impact on the Bible.

Ligonier Ministries looks to some of the Reformation heroes.

Crossway Life has written a whole series on the Reformation solas.

168 Hours offers a profile of the Huguenot Marie Durand.

Writings of a Woman offers a few of her thoughts on Reformation Day.

*****

I thought today would be a good day to make you aware of a new book designed to help you celebrate the Reformation Season. From Ray Rhodes and Solid Ground Christian Books comes Family Worship for the Reformation Season. It offers daily Scriptures, reflections and activities that can be done in the days leading up to Reformation Day (or any other time).

Ligon Duncan says, “Imagine, leading your family in daily worship in the home, reading the Scriptures, singing and praying, but simultaneously introducing them to the history, leading figures and theology of the great sixteenth-century Reformation - all this in a fresh and interesting way, in just about a quarter of an hour each day. ‘That would be great,’ you say, ‘but it would take me hours and days to put that together. I could never do it.’ Well, Ray Rhodes has done it for you in Family Worship for the Reformation Season. Use this book with joy. It will inspire, inform and instruct you and your family. The studies are simple but meaty. The Scriptures passages are helpfully chosen. And most of the lessons can be completed in fifteen minutes. Employ and be edified!”

My five week old daughter has been awake since 4:30 pm. It is now almost 12:30 am.  OK, so she did take a few cat naps ranging from 5 to 10 minutes long, but that's it.  What's the deal?  

Today Maryn got a bath and was all smiles afterward.  Check out her shoes.  They stay on her for about 30 seconds.  Today we went to the dress shop so I could get a fitting for Alicia's wedding.  And we stopped and ran a bunch of errands.

My mommy claws came out again.  I was at the bank trying to deposit a check.  I wasn't taking that long at the drive through ATM, I just couldn't get the check to go into the slot.  So I had to try a couple of times.  Maryn was crying in the backseat and I was getting frustrated.  Then the guy behind me yelled at me out his window!  How rude.  I pulled into a parking spot because I had to go inside in order to deposit the check, since it never went into the little slot.  I was carrying her car seat, Maryn was screaming, and I made sure I was standing right there on the sidewalk as the guy drove past me.  I gave him my meanest glare and shook my head at him.  I'm sure that showed HIM.    :)

Haha.  Then I wisened up and thought, "I'm just going to pray for that guy.  He must have a sad life getting so angry about little things like that.  I'll just pray for him..."

Pray for him to drive off a cliff.

Just kidding.  Really.  Totally joking.

She's the Princess!

Grandma Christy came to visit us yesterday and even had the pleasure of staying overnight in our spare bedroom, which is next to sweet little Maryn's.  Maryn didn't go to bed until 1:20 lastnight and Christy kept me company.  I can't imagine how tired Christy will  be today!  I know Maryn has been sleeping most of the morning.

Christy is John's former stepmother.  She was with him and his brother throughout most of their childhood, when I think little boys probably need a mother figure the most.  I am so grateful for her.  

It made me think, wow, Maryn is blessed!  She has 4 actual grandparents by blood, three by marriage (we don't count all of our ex-stepmothers and fathers because not all of them have kept in touch), and five great grandparents.  She even has her great great aunt Sharron in California.  

Those of you who don't know us very well are thinking, what?!  Yes.  Both of John's parents have been married three times.  My mom is remarried.  My dad is on his third as well.  And all four of John's grandparents have been very involved, even if it is long distance.  Whew!  In short, Maryn is spoiled!

Babywise Debunked

God has been teaching me a lot about plans.  As in, my plans aren't worth much.  One of my big plans was to follow Babywise, a method for getting your baby to sleep through the night.  This is done by keeping the baby on a routine and letting them "cry it out" as they lie down for naps.  

Just like one of my big plans was to have a completely natural childbirth.

Well, Babywise has been thrown out the window.  I read that book about five times before Maryn was even born, trying to brainwash myself into that way of thinking.  But you never know what kind of mother you'll be until you're a mother.  And you never know what kind of baby you'll have until you have the baby.  And Babywise wasn't working for either of us.

First of all, as I've stated before, Maryn doesn't sleep a lot during the day.  So letting her cry in her bed when she isn't tired is ridiculous.  And Maryn is stubborn.  :)  I mean, she wasn't two weeks late for nothing, right?  She'll cry for hours, I'm sure of it.  Something felt wrong about letting her cry all the time.

As for me, I felt like I wasn't bonding with my baby.  I know this is probably some personal self-esteem issue or something.  But when I'm just feeding and listening to a baby cry all day, I begin to feel like a milk robot with little nurturing ability or worth.  Since I began cuddling with her more, rocking her to sleep, and even nursing her in our bed while laying down and falling asleep with her sometimes, I've felt like a real mommy.  And now I stand by her bed and well up with tears at her beauty.  I wasn't feeling that way before.  Before, I was feeling like a slave to a little person I hardly knew, much less understood.

I don't think babies who are left to cry turn out to be psychopaths and I don't believe babies who are responded to immediately becoming clingy little monsters.  So much more plays into who our children grow up to be, and we all just have to do what we think is right for our baby and for ourselves.  

Here Kitty, Kitty!

Maryn really noticed Rosa for the first time today.  They stared at each other for a while.  Yes, this is in our bathroom.  Maryn usually accompanies me during my shower and blow drying.  She usually falls asleep or naps the whole time.  It's great.  I love this bouncy seat.  Maryn loves it, too.  She hardly even wants us to hold her anymore!  I'm getting jealous!

Lastnight was almost exactly the same as the night before, except I had a hard time getting her to fall asleep.  John is much better at it than I.  It's SO nice that she is falling asleep right after, or during, each feeding.  And sometimes she's only taking about 20 minutes to nurse now during the night.  What a relief!  I don't know how she knows nighttime is sleep time, but she seems to get it.  For now.  

Today is the third time I've washed our new cloth diapers.  The diapers are pretty big right now so we only use them half of the time when she's wearing an outfit that's big enough to accomodate.  The outfit she has on in this picture, for example, is getting pretty small for her.  We'll have to officially move up to her 0-3 months clothes.  We don't have very many clothes this size, but we have tons of 3-6 months.  And onesies don't work very well with the cloth diapers, so we use a lot of the two piece sets and one pieces that have big bottoms.  

Anyway, the cloth diapering is going very well.  The annoying part is having to put the liners back in them.  But when I'm done doing it, I feel so successful.  I try to think of it as Maryn being a whole other person.  Which she is, of course.  And when she's a teenager I'll have a lot more of her laundry to do than I do now, so I may as well get used to it.  The great part of it is that cloth diapering hasn't been gross.  It's actually feeling more clean to me.  Since we are doing half and half, we still throw away so many disposable diapers.  It's awful.  I can't believe the amount of trash they make.  AND Maryn's little bottom seems less red when she wears the cloth diapers.  

We have quite a few newborn and size one diapers from baby showers so we haven't spent much money on disposables.  

The cloth diapers are pretty expensive and I'm not hanging them out to dry yet because I can't find a clothes line.  So with laundry detergent and running the washer and dryer, I'm not sure if they're saving us a whole lot of money.  But they will if we have more than one baby (which we will!) and the fact that these diapers will fit her until she is 35 pounds is nice, too.  I also like that when we're out, I don't have to throw a disposable diaper in the trash and stink up the restroom.  I have special bags for cloth diapers that keep the smells in.  

Since everyone loves giving me suggestions, I need some suggestions on traveling.  On November 14, we are driving to Orlando for the weekend.  Then we will be flying to Ohio for Christmas.  I have hundreds of questions.  Like, should I sit by the window on the plane so that I can nurse?  Won't the person sitting next to me feel terribly uncomfortable otherwise?  How do we change a diaper on the plane?  Can I ask the hotel if they have a rocking chair we could borrow?  ANY travel tips would be welcomed.  

Maryn, girl genius...and angel baby

Although Maryn doesn't like her swing much, she enjoys laying beside it in one of our many changing stations.  Maryn likes to stare at weird things that aren't meant to be baby toys.  Like the side of her swing and the top of her car seat.  It's kind of strange.  Of course we're thinking this could lead to a future in mechanical engineering.

Last night went much better.  Maryn laid down for the night at 10:30 and slept for three and a half hours (yay for not staying up until 3!).  After that, she woke up to eat and went right back down, sleeping for an hour twice, and then a two hour.  We are soothing her to sleep, but she laid down in her boppy just fine and usually stays asleep.  The first time she laid down at 10:30 she woke up and just cried for less than ten minutes.  And today she slept a little better, about 20-40 minute naps here and there.   And that, my friends, is a pretty good four week old baby, I'd say.  

Thanks again for all your advice!

Sleep and Sweet Moments

Thank you for all of your suggestions!  They really got John and I thinking.  We were able to put our heads together this evening and come up with some solutions.  First, John put one of our computer speakers in her room, so she has music now.  Then, we put her Boppy in her bed to prop her up (which you're not supposed to do, by the way).  It seems to be working a little better so far, but it's only 10:30.  I'm waiting for her to fall asleep...

I think one of the reasons I'm so frustrated is because I'm without John all day.  I wish I had more of him, because he is so reassuring.  I hear a lot of women say they feel that their husband is another one of their children.  With John and me, it's the opposite.  I'm the other child!  There are few things I feel confident doing independently.  Maryn's bedtime routine, apparently, is not one of them.  I don't know how single moms (or dads) do it.

John started his second (it's actually his third until swim season is over) job today.  He will be working at Target whenever he can at 4 am each morning.  This makes me sad.  Not that I use him at 4 am, but he'll be more tired in the evenings, and you all know what happens when a husband and wife are both physically exhausted.

Another thing that makes me sad is that John's brother, Mark is moving away.  This means that we will officially be alone here in Naples, with no family.  John, who practically has no attachments, is not at all bothered by this.  These boys just move around everywhere without a thought (Air Force kids, sigh).  

I had a sweet moment tonight with Maryn.  She was sleeping soundly on my shoulder as I was trying to burp her (yes, she sleeps at times I don't want her to and is awake when I want her to sleep).  I was kissing her face, and then she gave me a big smackaroo on the cheek, because she was obviously looking for her food supply (wrong place, but you know).  It made me smile, and I looked down at her, and she was smiling right back at me.  I instantly got all teary.  How can I ever get frustrated with such a precious little girl?  In her princessy nightgown, with her big blue eyes and perfect little nose.  

Then, tonight, eventually, when she stops crying, I'll crawl into bed next to her daddy, who has the same nose and the same eyes, and I, too, will fall asleep.  Eventually.  But at least I have these two, even if I don't have any other relatives here, even if I don't have much sleep.  My sleep deprivation is only for a season.  These two are mine forever.  I love them so much.

Teenagers and Baby Sleep

Maryn and I went to her first swim meet today.  It was the conference meet and it went really well for the both of us, and also for John and his team.  Now that I'm almost at least ten years older than all the high school kids, I noticed tonight that I think of them differently.

High schoolers are fascinating.  I watch their interactions almost as if I were studying the creatures on Meerkat Manor.  The new relationships, the ended romances, the flirty girls, the stand-offish boys, the awkward moments and silly things they say.  They can be so self-conscious.  They can be so easily depressed and so easily ecstatic.  I wish they didn't take their relationships with the opposite sex so seriously, but I understand why they do.  I wish they wouldn't be so hard on themselves, but I wish they'd work harder at some things, sometimes.

In baby news, Maryn does not sleep.  She didn't sleep much lastnight, and she didn't sleep much today.  I thought newborns were supposed to sleep a lot.  My child does not sleep.  She will fall asleep and inevitably wake up 10-20 minutes later.  I don't know what to do.  It isn't gas this time, she's just awake.  She doesn't seem very tired.  But I am exhausted.  I don't know how she is surviving on this schedule.   But she's never really liked sleeping a lot, since the day she was born.  And as soon as I lay her on her back, she wakes up and cries, cries, cries.  Nothing works.  I'm about to become a co-sleeping parent, I kid you not.  I need suggestions.    

Goodbye, Pumpkin Spice Latte

I know I shouldn't be too paranoid about what I eat in relation to my breast milk, but that day when Maryn was in pain was one of the worst days ever.  Stupid me.  I had a Pumpkin Spice Latte that day.  And I didn't get the usual decaf.  And I didn't get the usual soy, either.  Because soy just tastes kind of yucky sometimes.  So I'm not sure if I should drink any coffee at all, ever.  I don't know if it was the milk, the caffeine, or the bitter coffee taste.  What do you breastfeeding moms think?

And what about ice cream?  John and I usually go out for ice cream or coffee once per week.  What are we supposed to do now?  I've been pretty addicted to smoothies.  I can go for that, I think, but I'm not sure John is crazy about the idea.  I love to get smoothies with extra protein.  I feel like I am doing something great for myself and for the entire world.  It gives me a rush.  Kind of like recycling.

I know I should just try another Pumpkin Spice Latte with soy and decaf to see if it bothers her, and maybe some ice cream.  But honestly, I don't think it's worth it.  I think I'll just say goodbye for now.  I'll see you again next year, my dear latte.

Smiles, Swings, Music, Lights, Vibrations, Bouncies, and a child that will probably have ADHD :-/

Maryn has been spoiled!  And so have we, because with the help of these little props, we've actually been able to get some work done and some relaxation in, too.  She isn't crazy about the swing yet.  I thought she would love it, but I think the seat doesn't quite recline enough.  But she LOVES the bouncy seat.  I knew she would because she always wants us to bounce with her 24-7.  I bounce all the time now, even when I'm not holding her.  Here you can see the beginnings of a smile while she was in her bouncy today.  I couldn't get the full smile on camera.  Sorry!  

Mommy Claws, Front Butts and No More Vacations

Mommy Claws

There are a few things I have acquired as a new mother.  The first is a familiar one, as I observed it in my own mother:  Mommy Claws.  Don't mess with a mother tiger's cubs.  

My story took place in the pediatrician's office on Thursday, where after my appointment, the nurse and Dr. Brown told me I could nurse Maryn in the exam room.  This was very good news, as Maryn was famished.  Due to my anal retentiveness, I was determined to get in a full feeding.  Because any breastfeeding mother knows that if you don't, the baby and the breasts will be semi out of whack for the rest of the day.  So after 20 minutes on one side, the dr. and nurse pop in to make sure I'm OK and give me papers, at which time they assured me I could take my time.  

After 20 minutes on the other side, the nurse comes in.  She informs me that I've been nursing too long and my nipples are going to get sore.  To which I replied, "Really?  Because both pediatricians I've talked to said to nurse 20 minutes on both sides.  Even all the books I've said say that."

"Well," she sighed.  "You're just lucky this room was open this long."  In a slightly nasty tone.

To which I thought, I am going to pummel this lady.  I just want to feed my baby.  If there was a time limit on the room, you should have told me.  I didn't say much to her, but I can't even describe to you how angry it made me.  I was fuming all the way home!  The only thing I can think of to explain it is that my mommy claws came out.  I noticed this happening during pregnancy, too, so it wasn't too much of a shocker.

Front Butts

My best friend growing up, Staci and I, we were pretty strange.  I look back and laugh at the things we did and said often.  She was the one who first told me what sex was--at least what she thought sex was.  One of the observances we made about women was that some have front butts.  This is the fat that is directly opposite of a woman's back butt, around her very lower abdominals.  

Well my friends, I now have a front butt.  At least the beginnings of one.  Oh, I know it'll probably mostly go away.  I did just have a baby, so I'm not too worried about it.  Except when I pass by ten year old girls and wonder, "Are they thinking about my front butt?"  Sigh.

No More Vacations

Motherhood is kind of shocking.  I spent most of the past year walking on clouds, preparing little baby clothes, readying myself to receive my little bundle of joy.  Sure, I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park.  I knew I'd have many, many sleepless nights.  But as I get the stroller ready, as I rock her to sleep, as I change diaper after diaper, as I nurse, nurse, nurse, I realize...

...oh

...my

...goodness.

This is really my life now.  Every three hours, for an hour I am stuck in a rocking chair or on a couch to nurse.  And I think that, for the rest of my life, I'll probably be tired.  Because no one is Maryn's mommy.  Just me.  And she's a whole person that needs a lot of things, including food.  It's a strange feeling to just want to go back to work and hand her over to a day care center, but at the same time, feel absolutely like that would be like death, to be separated from her just so I could make more money.  It's a very strange place to be in.  

Happy Day

Maryn has definitely been smiling at us.  I say definitely because she's been doing this for a while, but it's certain now.  She looks at us and smiles.  How rewarding it is to have my own little baby look up at me and smile.  It makes me think of the millions more smiles and millions more proud moments I'll have of my sweet baby girl.

The other night, yesterday, and yesterday evening were tough.  Maryn wanted to eat every two hours and her belly was obviously hurting her.  We could hear the pain in her cries.  The only thing that soothed her was to walk with us and bounce with us.  My calves are sore from all the bouncing.  I racked my brain trying to think of what I ate that could have possibly caused her all this pain, and am still clueless...except that I'm not going to eat any cookies today, just in case that was it.  I was exhausted from a night of very little sleep, and never had a chance to nap during the day.  We go to the pediatrician tomorrow and maybe she will have some suggestions.

Maryn had her first real bath today.  I wasn't looking forward to it since her sponge bath last week was a huge cry fest.  She cried so hard last week her face was turning blue.  And that was just a sponge bath.  I used my little turtle temperature gauge to make sure the water was just right (93 degrees!  Doesn't that seem hot?) and put her in.  Not one single cry!  Not even when I got her out.  She loved it!  Yes, I think we have a swimmer on our hands.  Then she was in such a good mood, I played with her for half an hour that was full of smiles.  

We received our cloth diapers yesterday.  I know it sounds crazy, but so many people kept recommending them, and budgeting for an extra $20 every week for disposables is depressing.  So I did my research (in other words, I asked Michele) and took the plunge.  Lastnight didn't go very well with them because of the whole tummy issue, and we weren't sure what was wrong, so we went back to disposables.  I'll keep you updated though.

Well, Maryn is calling!  And I haven't eaten lunch yet.  I really should eat before I post blogs.  Sigh.

Getting the Hang of It

Maryn and I have almost made it through the weekend on our own without too many problems. We even went to church. She slept the whole time, praise the Lord. Here she is with one of her new friends, Aleya, who is something like two months old.


The first picture, I don't know why it is flipped to the side like that, but I can't fix it. Her outfit came with that hat but we decided not to wear it to church. A little bit too goofy for her. We went with a bow instead. But I think she looks pretty funny, so I had to post it. Especially since she is sideways.


The other picture is Maryn with her first quilt from Grandma Erdman, who is a very talented quilter. Maryn loves it!


I finally had a chance to look at baby pictures of John and me to figure out who she resembles and the moment I opened John's scrapbook, I saw Maryn's face staring right back at me! The resemblance is striking. But maybe her eyes will turn brown like mine. We'll see!


Now, about my weekend alone. It really wasn't too difficult. I got a lot of things done. I even made cookies. The biggest problem is keeping myself fed and hydrated. As well as having things close by, because no one is here to run upstairs and get stuff for me. So I put on my first grade teacher hat and developed stations.


Nursing Station: This is where I spend at least 8 hours per day, so it is well stocked. It's at the end of the couch, equipped with our ottoman, tray table, and another tray beside me on the couch. I have my Bible, my other books, the remote, some granola bars, the pad of paper where I write down the times Maryn has eaten, my phone, and I always try to keep a full glass of water there.


Rocking Station: Yes, I'm in the habit of rocking Maryn to sleep. The whole letting her cry thing wasn't working. So this has some baby books to read to her, a full glass of water, and a blanket for me.


Downstairs Changing Station: Equipped with all the diaper changing necessities.


My sleeping station: Contains the baby monitor, a full glass of water, my phone, Maryn's extra bed, and diaper changing supplies.


Maryn's sleeping station (her bedroom): This is where Maryn usually sleeps, and it has all the normal stuff a baby room should have, including yet another diaper changing station.

Weekend is here...

John came home from work today at noon and I had to drop him off at the high school so he could travel with the swim team to Orlando for their swim meet. He'll be gone until Sunday afternoon/evening. I made it through the day without crying about it, too, which was quite an accomplishment.

John and my friend, Alicia, cooked up a little plan. He knew she was coming over around 1:30 to bring over some lunch, so he called her and told her about my favorite sandwich from Calistoga (the Santa Rosa). What a wonderful surprise! John has been taking such good care of me.

Alicia was here for two hours, and just as she was leaving my other friend Jody stopped by for the next two hours. Keep in mind these are two of my most favorite people in the world. They're just the type of people that are so refreshing. We had a lot to talk about. All three of us are in very interesting stages of our lives with new, exciting things happening. So that refreshment from Alicia and Jody, I think, will last me well into tomorrow.

I've been pumping a bit of milk here and there so that maybe I can attend church tomorrow. I'm not sure I'm up to the task, and John is mildly disappointed he won't be there for Maryn's first trip to church. But we're having a special guest speaker and I desperately want to hear what God has laid on his heart...and hear what God may have for me to hear.

I'm reading that book I mentioned a while back called Money, Possessions and Eternity. Wow! I have a good quote I want to share with you from it, but I'll do that later. It's really changing my perspective on money. Maryn's calling...

Cutie Pie Maryn

Maryn slept in her bed lastnight and I'm back to sleeping (really sleeping, not that) with my husband!  This is good because I really like John.  She's been awake more during the day, which means more sleep at night.  It's tougher to get things done during the day, like showering.  I haven't showered yet today and it's past one.  She likes to stay awake for the full three hours sometimes.

I've really lost a lot of weight, and this is scaring me.  I am almost already back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I still have a little tummy, but it seems I've lost extra weight in my legs.  My feet look anorexic and my calves have definitely shrunken smaller than ever before.  I hope things balance out so I don't look malnourished or like I have worms, like those precious little Ethiopian children with the bellies.  I appreciate being thin, but I do not want to be skeletal.  I think I've been eating enough, and even purposely down extra calories now and then.  The Oreos and Zebra Cakes my mom bought for me have really come in handy! 

Maryn and I had a short photo shoot today.  She was in a good mood for about ten minutes, so I quickly slid this dress on her that her "Auntie Alicia" bought for her.  Isn't she such a precious little princess?  I love her little facial expressions.  

Heroes

I have been waiting to post this for quite some time. The following people I could not have labored so well without. So here they are.

John

My husband, how can I express my gratefulness for him? There are just no words. The most patient, unselfish, self-controlled person I've ever met was by my side throughout most of the delivery. I had to force him to take a break to eat and go to the bathroom. He let me hang on him, he would have let me yell at him, he listened to my animalistic noises without a single sign of panic. He calmed me, he soothed me, and he was truly my teammate throughout the entire labor. I did not get angry with him or scratch him or anything like that, either. I repeatedly told him, "I'm so glad I'm the one doing this and you're the one doing that." Because I couldn't have been so patient and kind. I couldn't have remained so calm. To be stripped of him upon entering the operating room was one of the toughest moments of my life.

Mom

My mother wasn't here when we planned. We were hoping for a week or two after Maryn was born (boy, it would be nice to have her here now!). But my mom was an awesome help. I don't know what we would have done without her. She ran to get us food whenever we needed it during our hospital stay. She cleaned our house and restocked us (for the next year or two probably!) on all kinds of household items. She splurged for the non-toxic, organic, environmentally friendly stuff, too, even though she probably thinks I'm crazy. She helped me get some sleep while taking care of Maryn, which I'm sure she enjoyed. And when she left, everyone cried. She cried, I cried, and Maryn cried, too!

Annemarie

Annemarie was my doula. Doula comes from a latin word meaning "slave." And that's pretty much what she was. She massaged my back in the beginning of contractions (the worst part for me), she spoke soothing words like, "Deep, cleansing breaths," visited me in the hospital, snuck in homeopathic remedies, and waited on me hand and foot. She provided massage oil, peppermint, smoothies, anything to make me feel better.

Dawn

Dawn was our midwife, in this whole pregnancy and labor thing with us from the beginning. She helped us prepare, answered all of our questions, and comforted us in times of doubt. She lied to me when I was only 4 centimeters after so, so long (I'm so glad she did!). And I would recommend her to anyone.

Jesus Christ

I chose to try natural labor for many reasons, but the only real explanation is that Jesus must have put it on my heart, for the weight of it was so heavy and I was so determined. Jesus will never give us anything we cannot handle and he prepares us for whatever is to come. We spent a lot of time together, He and I, before the birth. I was scared as anyone else would be and afraid of the pain, especially since I am known to have a pain tolerance of negative ten. But each contraction could not be described as pain, but as my body doing something it was created to do. I made it through transition without even realizing it, as everything was far easier than I expected. People told me to imagine the worst pain of my life, but what it really was, was something (someone) miraculous and supernatural taking over my body to deliver a new person into the world. I imagined his pain on the cross as he suffered to give me life. I imagined my baby in my arms, my little gift from God, and imagined His joy in being able to have so many children who love Him, wrapped in His arms, staring at him with love like Maryn likes to stare at me.

Childbirth, to me, was a gift from God. I am so grateful to have experienced it though the end did not turn out as I had planned. I am thankful that He challenged me to accept that my plans mean nothing, and that His will is best. I hope that I have brought Him the glory, all the glory, for everything, because none of it was in my own power. To God be the glory forever and ever.

Sleepy Head Baby

Today is day number two of using the official Babywise method full force. Babywise is a book/program that aims to help babies sleep through the night. I am a bit of an obsessive researcher. I read movie and book reviews before I see a movie or read books, I read reviews on products before I buy them, and before I had a baby I started researching the best ways to handle sleeping and feeding. Do I hold her each time she cries? Do I let her sleep in our bedroom? Do I rock her to sleep? Stuff like that. So, if anyone criticizes Babywise or the decision John and I have made to use the method, I can at least say I did my research and this is what I know is best for our family.

Maryn has her days and nights switched as most babies do, but lastnight she slept a good four hours straight, then a good five hours straight. The only problem was that she didn't start her "night" until 2 am. Hopefully tonight will be better! But I'd say that is pretty good. John and I both feel pretty well rested and we have been blessed with a very good, cooperative baby. HALLELUJAH!

This morning, since she was sleeping for so long, I had to pump (oh, fun). So this allowed me to have some significant mommy time and it allowed John to have some good daddy-daughter time. I took a shower, painted my toenails, and did my makeup. I am starting to feel human again. Especially since I finally got those yucky staples out.

In other news, our stroller is broken. It's not a very expensive stroller, just a step up from an umbrella stroller. It was supposed to be our cheap stroller that we could take places easily. So now we're going to use our gift cards to buy a little cart thing that our car seat can hook into. I should have researched my strollers more. Arrggh. Anyway, I want it before this weekend because John is going out of town and if I want to go anywhere, I need something to carry that heavy car seat for me.

Yes, John is going out of town. The swim team is swimming a big meet in Orlando. Last year I got to go with them but this year I guess I can't, really. I am going to go on the next trip to Orlando, which is in three weeks or something like that. So if anyone wants to come visit me this weekend, I will be here, lonely.

I've been reading this book Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper while nursing, and it is so good. I really hope I can put some of the principles into practice. I highly recommend it. There's a link to John Piper's ministry there on the right of my blog. I also use John's iphone while nursing at night to read blogs and such, and I've added a few of our favorites.

Thank you to all of you that have been listening to me ramble. I always want to get on here and type, type away about everything that's happening. I know it's probably pretty boring. I am hopefully going to be able to work on writing out Maryn's birth story while it's semi-fresh in my mind soon, and I will forward it to those of you who are interested. I won't tell everyone the gory details. Although it was the most miraculous, exhilerating time of my life just one step below my salvation story at 16. And almost exactly ten years later I have my little Maryn.

I'm in love!

I think most of you know what it's like to be in love and to feel loved. Well, the most amazing part of being a mom so far is that Maryn just wants to stare at me. All these new things and new people in the world and she just wants to look at me (you can see her staring at me in most of our pictures). I am her source of nourishment, and for the past 42 weeks, I was her source of life. What an amazing, undeserved gift. I am still overwhelmed at the way my body took over to give birth just as it was meant to be done, and even during labor I kept telling John, "I'm so glad I'm me and you're you, and I get to do this." Because I think, so far at least, that the gift of motherhood is one of the very greatest gifts of all.

There are so many things I want to blog about! However, I'm not going to sit at the computer long because my back/shoulder/arm hurts. I think I hurt it when I was practically convulsing on the surgery table.

I got my staples out today, which was a huge relief. I know my incision will start to feel better now and I haven't taken any Percoset since. This is good because I've been hearing about some terribly addictive behaviors associated with Percoset that were kind of scaring me.

I was really freaked out about getting the staples out. I mean--staples! In my skin! Ouch! And the doctor had to pull them out. Eeeeeeks! But I now have the whole "labor" thing under my belt so I sucked it up and made it through. Which reminds me, if someone can endure this cesaerean stuff, that someone can certainly endure natural childbirth. Pshhh.

So, throughout this whole having a baby ordeal, the two most painful things were: getting the tape pulled off and getting the staples out. Uggghhh.

Yesterday we went to the pediatrician and Maryn is very healthy. She is getting plenty to eat and she now weighs 8 pounds. It's normal for babies to drop a few ounces in the first two weeks as long as they gain it back. She's sleeping normally for a baby, but I'm not producing quite enough milk at night, so we're working on that.

After the doctor's office today we went to Whole Foods to get some Mother's Milk Tea (promotes healthy lactation, the box claims) and some lunch. We covered Maryn up with the car seat thing and tried to discourage people from coming close to her. Germy, germy. My lunch was so yummy. I love Whole Foods. I want to buy all my birthday presents there. But now that I have a baby I guess my birthday will never be quite the same. I must be an adult now. Maybe I'll ask for a high chair or something.

We haven't had to make a dinner for ourselves yet so far. Thank you so much to all of you providing meals for us. I think they're yummy, and John is just grateful to save the extra $$$. Hahaha. Tonight we are going to go for a walk and we're going to get some ice cream. I can't wait. :)