Heroes

I have been waiting to post this for quite some time. The following people I could not have labored so well without. So here they are.

John

My husband, how can I express my gratefulness for him? There are just no words. The most patient, unselfish, self-controlled person I've ever met was by my side throughout most of the delivery. I had to force him to take a break to eat and go to the bathroom. He let me hang on him, he would have let me yell at him, he listened to my animalistic noises without a single sign of panic. He calmed me, he soothed me, and he was truly my teammate throughout the entire labor. I did not get angry with him or scratch him or anything like that, either. I repeatedly told him, "I'm so glad I'm the one doing this and you're the one doing that." Because I couldn't have been so patient and kind. I couldn't have remained so calm. To be stripped of him upon entering the operating room was one of the toughest moments of my life.

Mom

My mother wasn't here when we planned. We were hoping for a week or two after Maryn was born (boy, it would be nice to have her here now!). But my mom was an awesome help. I don't know what we would have done without her. She ran to get us food whenever we needed it during our hospital stay. She cleaned our house and restocked us (for the next year or two probably!) on all kinds of household items. She splurged for the non-toxic, organic, environmentally friendly stuff, too, even though she probably thinks I'm crazy. She helped me get some sleep while taking care of Maryn, which I'm sure she enjoyed. And when she left, everyone cried. She cried, I cried, and Maryn cried, too!

Annemarie

Annemarie was my doula. Doula comes from a latin word meaning "slave." And that's pretty much what she was. She massaged my back in the beginning of contractions (the worst part for me), she spoke soothing words like, "Deep, cleansing breaths," visited me in the hospital, snuck in homeopathic remedies, and waited on me hand and foot. She provided massage oil, peppermint, smoothies, anything to make me feel better.

Dawn

Dawn was our midwife, in this whole pregnancy and labor thing with us from the beginning. She helped us prepare, answered all of our questions, and comforted us in times of doubt. She lied to me when I was only 4 centimeters after so, so long (I'm so glad she did!). And I would recommend her to anyone.

Jesus Christ

I chose to try natural labor for many reasons, but the only real explanation is that Jesus must have put it on my heart, for the weight of it was so heavy and I was so determined. Jesus will never give us anything we cannot handle and he prepares us for whatever is to come. We spent a lot of time together, He and I, before the birth. I was scared as anyone else would be and afraid of the pain, especially since I am known to have a pain tolerance of negative ten. But each contraction could not be described as pain, but as my body doing something it was created to do. I made it through transition without even realizing it, as everything was far easier than I expected. People told me to imagine the worst pain of my life, but what it really was, was something (someone) miraculous and supernatural taking over my body to deliver a new person into the world. I imagined his pain on the cross as he suffered to give me life. I imagined my baby in my arms, my little gift from God, and imagined His joy in being able to have so many children who love Him, wrapped in His arms, staring at him with love like Maryn likes to stare at me.

Childbirth, to me, was a gift from God. I am so grateful to have experienced it though the end did not turn out as I had planned. I am thankful that He challenged me to accept that my plans mean nothing, and that His will is best. I hope that I have brought Him the glory, all the glory, for everything, because none of it was in my own power. To God be the glory forever and ever.