My trip to Germany

Last night I had a dream that I was on a mission trip to Germany (visiting Whitney too, of course) when I was captured and thrown into a prison camp. The prison camp was incidentally manned by some of the jerk guys from my high school. I tried to plead with this guy Mike before he took me to be branded on the stomach with 3 flaming hot car lighters, and though he seemed sympathetic my pleas didn't work. I tried to explain that he was defending an evil dictator and that didn't he want to live in a democracy? But he didn't know anything about history and therefore didn't really know about dictators and governments. He just wanted the money from the evil dictator.

After being branded I was led to a place where I would be hung crucifix style between two posts with chains by my wrists. This was not appealing at all, so I knew I must find a way to escape. I made a sweet friend in my barracks, but as soon as I saw a way out I left. I just walked out the back door of my barracks, no electric fence in sight. I ran through the woods and into a nice neighborhood. I saw some soldiers coming after me, but they were chubby and slow. Shwew. I crept right into the front door of a nice old-person-looking house. And elderly couple was sitting in the parlor, a ways off, so I crept into a spare room--part dining room, part guest room, it seemed--and hid between some shelves. Not very covert. I heard the couple rustling around and anxiously talking, sighing, when the man came and looked right where I was hiding. I smiled. He covered me with blankets and didn't say a word. That's when the chubby soldiers came in. They didn't find me! Close call.

I spent the next week with the couple and their sweet family. I'll never forget them and their kindness to me! Their names were Mr. Hansel and Gretel Lederhausen (I don't know much German). I had to try to find a way to let John know I needed to be rescued from dictatorship Germany, so I sent him an email that was written in backwards code. I sent a copy of it to Veronica just in case John couldn't figure it out.

The Lederhausens' daughter came over to help me build up a disguise. She lent me her ID. We cut off most of my hair and dyed it blond, and she gave me some very stylish clothes and makeup, as well as a great pair of large Gucci sunglasses.

I decided to pretend I was deaf since I know some sign language now, so that no one would suspect I was American. I made it by bus to the US Embassy but the whole road was guarded by the dictator people. So I went up and acted like a very confused deaf person trying to make it across the street to Qdoba. Eventually the soldiers grew very annoyed with me and let me pass. At that time, I dashed for the embassy gate and made it all the way to the door, where my sweet Johnniebear was waiting for me. He had figured out the secret backwards code and gone to all the necessary authorities to have me rescued, even if I hadn't made it to the embassy myself.

So I would just like to thank Mr. and Mrs. Hansel and Gretel Lederhausen, their family, Veronica, and Johnniebear for being my heroes. And I hope my friends from the prison camp are safe now.

...And that is the dream of a pregnant woman.