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Hum Dee Dum

Five days until oral surgery...nine days until Bible school prep. And moving just may be right around the corner...

Last Day of School

The kids' last day was today! It was sad. But I didn't cry! Can you believe it? Probably because I've been crying myself to sleep for the past three nights. :)

I'll miss my kids!

Very Important Info!

If you plan on coming to our wedding (October 29th) please consider looking at this website to book your flight: www.flyi.com. Cheapest flights we've found...you can get a round trip flight from Cleveland to Fort Myers for $258. If you find anything cheaper, let me know!

I Am the Princess

Things have been crazy around here! As usual. Revamping the reception plans. Praying for a photographer and DJ miracle.

Good news! One of my new friends (yay for new friends!) is engaged! I told her I am so mad because she just got engaged last week and is getting married BEFORE me! September 3rd! I envy her though because she doesn't have to spend 9,000 months planning. I am sick of planning. Okay, it hasn't been very difficult, I will admit. But I'm just sick of it. I think weddings should be surprises. I've picked my dress...who wants to throw a surprise wedding?

I have been very tired lately. It must be the fighting off ear infection bugs. I don't know.

Does anyone watch SNL? Did you see lastnight's? Lindsay Lohan? My favorite SNL person is Amy Poehler. Cracks me up.

I am the princess. I am the princess. I am the princess.

Rawhana kia koe!

(That's rah-fonna kee-yah quay...Happy Birthday in Maori)


Just a few years ago, on this exact day, the world became a brighter, more beautiful place!

Happy Birthday, Mom!


I love you!

Crrrrrunch Time!!!!

2 Weeks left and I am a FREE woman!

Until I have oral surgery, have my annual super fun dr. appointment, teach Bible school, go to Ohio, throw a party, take part in a wedding, attend my own party, move Ohio stuff down to Florida somehow, take summer teacher classes about vocabulary and comprehension, get hard core into wedding planning...

Summer vacation? What summer vacation?

It's not a good sign when my arm feels numb, is it? Am I having a heart attack?

Does anyone watch that show "House?" I love that show. I think I'm having a stroke. Just kidding. I'm a dominatrix. Just kidding.

I didn't know what that word meant, "dominatrix." But John did. I'm worried.

On to better things...Senior Night tonight at church! I'm not that excited. It takes a lot of work to be "cool" lately. I guess it's always been that way. For me :)

Anyway, I got all my grades in already! Next up: Making Father's Day gifts, celebrating summer birthdays, and getting final stuff ready for my students' cumulative folders.

Fun!

Better Days!

I really enjoyed your comments on my last post! Thank you :)

My students have been MUCH better now that our stupid, stupid tests are over and it isn't storming anymore! Thank goodness! I was going to be so mad at them if they made me hate them by the end of the year. You know, it would make it easier to say goodbye if I didn't like them, but what fun is that? I know they'll always remember me as the teacher who bawled her eyes out on the last day of first grade.

I had been sleeping better except for lastnight...what kept me awake was thinking about my new babysitting clients. I think I am going to do it one more week and then call it quits. Seriously, it stresses me out worse than anything because...oh yeah, I can't tell you.

I signed a contract, remember?

Anyway, I did learn how to play Halo 2...which made me wish that John wouldn't like video games so much so then at least our children would be less likely to turn out like these children I babysit...

Not that it's because of the video games, but seriously, some kids should not be playing killing games. Especially satanic ones.

Have you ever hated a child? I just can't stand this kid. I mean really. He tells me I'm stupid, to shutup, and that I'm an idiot. And then he tries to bite his mom and attack her. I'm sorry, but hello, that's pretty good reason for a spanking...I don't care how great of a child psychiatrist you are. His father is a psychiatrist. Yeah. Talk about frustrating.

Man, I breached my contract, didn't I? I hope I don't get sued.

Matisse, Picasso, Busy...Jobless Fiance, Retirement, Butterflies, Contacts, Tired...

Okay, I will try to make this brief!

Matisse, Picasso and Friends...

...visited Naples Museum of Art. Interesting, but crowded. Enjoyed Matisse more than I expected. Unimpressed by Picasso works (surprisingly) but love him best anyway. I went by myself. Enjoyed that part. Stopped by a cafe and had a fancy sandwich while I sat outside reading a book. Good fun. I was the mysterious girl, alone at the cafe...and the museum.


Busy

End of the year. Craziness. Constant testing. Letting the kids paint while I test small groups because I've neglected that this year. Celebrating Cinco de Mayo soon along with Mother's Day...how to fit it all in? We're painting a flower pot in memory of Maiya's mom, who died last year in a car accident.

Jobless Fiance

Yeah. Long story. Not fired. No new job as of yet. Need prayers.

Retirement

Spending a lot of money on retirement parties for coworkers because...I feel like I really should go to the things. 25 dollars a plate. Sigh.

Butterflies

Beautiful!!! I want to get my own butterflies every year whether I am a teacher or not. We let Brianna go today. It was heart-wrenching, but inspired creative little writings.

Contacts

One is "broken." It must have fallen out in the morning...because I found it on the sink later, and it was all dried out...and it fell apart. I know not what to do. My eyes are irritated, too, because I walked in the house while flea bombs were going off with my one contact in (no one told me the flea bombs would be going off). Now it stings to put the contact in at all.


Tired
I can't sleep because I lay there thinking about how I will arrange my classroom next year. You'd think if I were having trouble sleeping, it would be about something serious. But no...I think about where to put my desk, if I should get a new bookshelf...etc. Silly silly.

Yay!!!!!! Happiness!

Happy Number One:

This parent/teacher/ESE liason guy at our school (who has helped me A LOT this year, I might add) asked to talk to me today...about a student whose parents I FINALLY met...and to ask me if I was going to be teaching at Highlands next year. Naturally, I said yes, to which he responded with "Oh, goooood. I really want to get my daughter into your class. I have heard such GREAT things about you!"

My jaw dropped to the floor, I'm sure of it. I almost cried. And then I thought...oh man, what if his daughter's crazy? :)

Happy Number Two:

I made a friend! Her name is Amy, from church, and we are going to eat tomorrow after school. Yay!

Happy Number Three:

I talked to Susan, finally, yesterday for like an hour! Yay! Susan is the friend I've been stalking (calling her every day twice a day) for the past week. She's my maid of honor and I looooooooooooooooove her! So I'm glad I got to update her on my life... Come to think of it, I didn't have time to ask her much about HER life.
Uh-oh. I better call her back...

My Second Job and...I'm Hungry

Because wedding and living expenses are getting to be a little crazy and I don't really have THAT much to do on the weekends...and I do need to do something besides lay around and say "I'm so tired," I've decided to pick up a second job. That is, I decided to babysit for this lady in our neighborhood that goes to our church...Sunday afternoons, for about five hours.

Um...it's a bit strange. This babysitting thing. I had to sign a contract that said I wouldn't tell anyone anything. No, really. I did. So that's all I'm telling you.

Oh yes, and I am hungry. I buy five SmartOnes meals to get me through the week at work and two Marie Callender meals to get me through the weekends. I know...that's a lot of salt and preservatives. However, this weekend I haven't done my grocery shopping yet, so I'm unsure of my next meal. Perhaps John and I will go to Steak and Shake after church and I will try a steak burger this time.

Last time I had a turkey club and John's steak burger looked yummier. I love turkey clubs...but the turkey was too slippery and fell out of the bread.

Happy Anniversary! John and I celebrated our final April 19th anniversary this week. We went to the Cheesecake Factory. Yum!!!!!!! I highly recommend the quesadillas as an appetizer, the crusted chicken romano as a main dish, and the Snickers cheesecake for a dessert. And the Brancott wine. Mmmh.

I CAN SEE! I got contacts! It turns out that I have terrible vision and the optometrist could not believe that I could function. I'm adjusting nicely to the contacts. It's my second day. I got glasses, too. They're pretty fly.

Union Rep! I am the new union rep. at our school and I went to my first ever union meeting. It was great fun and I am excited about this new opportunity to step out of my passive comfort zone and start DEMANDING justice. Arrrrrgggghh! That was my pirate voice.

Field Day 2005

Well it must be a southern thing...cuz I know Maple Street Elementary didn't do all THIS for field day.

Almost all the kids bought Highlands Field Day 2005 t-shirts and water bottles. There was a snack bar, a gazillion water-battling games...and a dunk tank.

Miss Nicole Tremblay, the other new hip young first grade teacher, and I got paired up...and we did all of our games and things against each other. And we did everything our students did.

Now you'd think...Amanda, she's 23. She can surely run back and forth a bunch of times in relays, throw sponges, play tug of war... Well yeah, I can. It was soooooo much fun, too! But um, today, well, that's another story. When I got home, I slept for an hour and a half, then went back to sleep at 9:30 and slept till 10:30 (13.5 hours!). I am exhausted. My entire body hurts, even these little deep down muscles in my back that all feel like they're being pinched. And I have a bit of a sunburn.

Listen to how loser-y the other first grade teachers are. They quit field day at 10:30 because "the kids were too cold." It was 80 degrees. At least. They didn't do like four or five activities and took their classes inside. Miss Tremblay and I did all the activities, we both let our classes dunk us in the dunk tank AND we ate lunch outside. Then we got to go in, get changed, and watched Finding Nemo. Yay! It was really good we watched it because now my students finally understand what a baleen whale is.

:)

I just thought it was kind of neat when our students said to the other kids, "Did your teacher go in the dunk tank?" And the other kids would say, "What's a dunk tank?"

See, all the other teachers buy their students stuff. Easter baskets. Christmas presents. Miss Tremblay and I don't have the money to do all that. But we can afford the dunk tank. And very, very sore muscles! The kids' faces were priceless when they'd see us dunked. It was all very worth it.

I would just like to thank my mother right now for telling me there is a God, there is a Jesus, and not saying things like, "Anything you believe that works for you is true."

I know people that live with that "truth." You know, that "truth" that lies "within."

Pray for them, talk to them, try to live out a Godly life, try to be an example...I try those things. But I'm a hypocrite. It's true. All Christians are. Because we couldn't possibly live a sinless, perfect life.

I'm so glad that Jesus did that for me and made it possible to feel God in my heart.

Anyway, it's 7:00 am...school's about to begin. And I'm just tired. Worn out. Sick of the things in this world. Sick of money, sick of diseases, sick of arguments over right and wrong. But...I know none if it really matters (hear me repeating it to myself? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.).

I Love First Grade!

Four of my students were absent today. And one, the girl that really was causing a lot of problems in my class since she arrived a couple months ago, moved away.

Needless to say, it was the best day ever!

Surgery, Centerpieces, and Sex...

Surgery

I'm having my wisdom teeth taken out on May 29th. You should see my oral surgeon. He has biceps the size of my waist. I'm wondering if he's going to just pry out my teeth with those massive muscles. Everyone in the office was SO nice! I'm so excited. I love anesthesia. :)


Centerpieces

I bought 12 beta fish thingies because they look like vases and they were 1.80. But now I've decided that I don't like them. So I'm going to use those for the cake and food tables, put sand, shells, and roses in them, and get little fish bowls for the tables...for a smaller, better centerpiece. This idea subject to change. Any ideas? Send them my way! Susan helped me a lot. She and I talked on the phone today and no matter how much I begged her to drive down here, she wouldn't! But I think she understood what a beta fish thingy is and we came up with some great ideas. Thank you, lovely maid of honor!

Sex

Due to unmerited speculation on my sex life, I am very, very happy to say that John and I have not, and will not, until after our wedding. Though we have discussed having a secret wedding tomorrow and a fake wedding on October 29th, we've realized that's cheating and will do things the way we believe God intended them.

:)

H&R Block, I LOVE YOU!

God heard my prayers and sent me an angel by the name of H&R Block...and Nancy. Thank you, Nancy!

I'm Cool Now

I am like, so 1999 cool. Thanks to John, who has to be up-to-date cool, I at least get to be out-of-date cool. Since John has an ipod now, I get aaall of his old cds and any of the other ones he gets, if I want them. I also got the handy dandy cd holder he had for his car. You know, one of those cases that holds all of your cds on your visor. I never thought I'd have one of those, or enough cds to fill one, for sure. But now...I do! And now, I actually kind of look forward to my forty-sixty minute drives to work.

AND since I forgot my cell phone charger in FL when I was in OH and it's about the only way for people to reach me, I had to buy a new cell phone charger. But the thing of it was that the Cingular booth at Belden only had car chargers. So I got one of those and it came with one of those things you stick in your ear and talk to whoever without having to have the phone up against your face.

I only use it in the car so that people don't think I'm talking to myself. Unless they see me talking and driving, anyway, but I don't think they really do.

That brings me to ipods. I was a little...ehhh...about the whole 300 dollar ipod thing, but dude, that thing is awesome. You can get a gazillion songs on it for way cheaper than buying cds (and give your girlfriend the scraps), AND get it all beamed to your radio! Any radio! And it just...plays. Without a cord. Without anything, really. It's just a little box. It's the size of a birth control pill case, for real. It's magical. Absolutely magical.

Whew!

My spring break did wonders for me. Life has been good this week. I love my job, I love my students (most of them) and I just loooove my classroom. I like it here.

As for "home" (I don't really think I have a home anymore, but what I mean is, at the house here in FL) things have been less than satisfactory and my money situation has been just plain awful, and I think I've come to the real realization that there is just no possible way John and I will be able to move out by the time we get married, which is enough to make me cry, I'll never, ever, pay off my debts because I just know that even as I pay my debts, sooner or later I will create more...and more and more. There are two reasons NOT to live in Naples. One is it is really expensive to live there. Two is that everyone else is rich so it rubs on and you feel like you have to have this and that.

The people that live across the street from us have a plasma tv so big that we can sit in the yard and watch what they're watching. They live in a five bedroom house that they just bought for 500,000 dollars for like, 3 months of the year. And it's just these two (extremely nice) grandparents.

And sheesh. Everywhere I go it seems I hear people talking about money. How John's grandfather is a millionare or something. How the new pillowcases on our couch cost 37 dollars each (there's seven or eight of them). It makes me want to cry, you know? Not because I'm jealous but because...I could use that money, dammit. Darn it, I mean.

Sigh. It's just weird...I have everything I want and need, so I'm very rich. I'm very rich economically, too, technically. So why is it there isn't anything in my checking account?

Well, I know it's no good to share your financial struggles out in the open like this, but I know I'm just saying what at least half of the college graduates of 2004 are feeling!

But look at the first part of this blog...life feels good, for now, and I will live in today (because today is good) and leave the rest up to God. I don't even want to KNOW what will happen in the next two weeks of NOT getting a paycheck!

Airports

It took me 9 1/2 hours to get from Fort Myers airport to Canton airport on Thursday night. That is a tad bit ridiculous, but I did enjoy the time spent sitting, sitting, sitting and thinking, thinking, thinking. During times like that I contemplate poetically. I only wish I had written some of the things I thought.

There's something about air travel. There's something about airports. There's something about the whole experience that I believe truly changes a person. I suppose for some people that serious change could take place by just flying state to state. For others, it might take a bigger trip--more distance, to have a major effect. I have found that since my trip to New Zealand, my outlook has changed on many things, although I cannot pinpoint what exactly it is that changed.

I miss the internet kiosks I used in Sydney...counting the hours till I was home, till I could see John again...till I could eat American cheese again and savor the oily, waxy feel of it gush in my teeth.

I miss flying over the green hills of New Zealand, wondering if I'd ever miss that place. I miss flying over perfectly plotted fields of Kansas and thinking, "I'm almost home."

I miss sitting in a plane for fourteen hours, wondering what movie would come on next, hoping the food would be interesting, hoping I would get another Oreo or Toblerone. I miss discussing interesting stories with the passengers next to me. The man who had lived in China. The priest going back to Turkey. The woman from New Jersey, visiting her daughter in Australia.

I don't miss New Zealand. I don't miss Australia. I guess it brings meaning to the expression, "It's not the destination, it's the journey." Because somewhere between Cleveland airport and Whakatane, I changed, and somewhere between Whakatane and Cleveland on the way back, I changed. And those airplanes are where the most changes took place. When I prepared myself for take off. When I prepared myself for landing. When I readied myself for my adventures. When I reflected on my adventures.

Airports. Airplanes. I love them.

How to Measure Success

Here I am, back in good ol' Orrville, Ohio. I see people I know or used to know every time I turn around. Therefore, I try to stay indoors as much as possible.

It's weird talking to people I graduated with...because most are, well, how do I say this?

Let me start another way. We all measure success in different ways. Some of the people I graduated with have beautiful new hairdos. Some have wonderful jobs. Some have terrible jobs. Some of the smartest people in my high school class failed out of college. Some of them gained 30 pounds. Some of them lost 30 pounds. Some of them are unmarried with 3 children. Some are married and divorced. Some are living with parents, some aren't, some are happy, some aren't.

But...when you see someone that you haven't seen in a while, a person from your graduating class, you must always act as successful and happy as possible. And when a person tells you what they do or what they've been up to, you must act as surprised and happy as possible. Even if they were number 4 in your class and failed out of Kent State and now work as a cashier at WalMart, you have to act just as happy as if they won the Nobel Prize. AND, it works the other way around. If you are only a first grade teacher, have moved to Florida, you're engaged...

Well, I guess I don't have to pretend that I am successful. Because, I feel, that I am succesful, that I have done everything I set out to do. So sometimes, when I talk to people on this topic, I feel like I'm bragging.

I am happy, satisfied...but that doesn't mean I stop there, does it? I could stay a first grade teacher for thirty more years or something crazy like that. But, I don't think my generation quite operates that way. We've been wired to always desire more, to climb higher and higher. I'm not sure how much higher I can get in the early childhood education world, but I hope that I can keep climbing. Maybe I can climb up in other areas. Maybe I can climb up in being the best wife in the entire universe. :) Maybe I can keep having kids until I'm 50. Heck, I don't know...

I was going to make a point. But, I lost myself somewhere there. I guess I want to know when I've reached success. And why we feel we have to fake success.