My spring break did wonders for me. Life has been good this week. I love my job, I love my students (most of them) and I just loooove my classroom. I like it here.
As for "home" (I don't really think I have a home anymore, but what I mean is, at the house here in FL) things have been less than satisfactory and my money situation has been just plain awful, and I think I've come to the real realization that there is just no possible way John and I will be able to move out by the time we get married, which is enough to make me cry, I'll never, ever, pay off my debts because I just know that even as I pay my debts, sooner or later I will create more...and more and more. There are two reasons NOT to live in Naples. One is it is really expensive to live there. Two is that everyone else is rich so it rubs on and you feel like you have to have this and that.
The people that live across the street from us have a plasma tv so big that we can sit in the yard and watch what they're watching. They live in a five bedroom house that they just bought for 500,000 dollars for like, 3 months of the year. And it's just these two (extremely nice) grandparents.
And sheesh. Everywhere I go it seems I hear people talking about money. How John's grandfather is a millionare or something. How the new pillowcases on our couch cost 37 dollars each (there's seven or eight of them). It makes me want to cry, you know? Not because I'm jealous but because...I could use that money, dammit. Darn it, I mean.
Sigh. It's just weird...I have everything I want and need, so I'm very rich. I'm very rich economically, too, technically. So why is it there isn't anything in my checking account?
Well, I know it's no good to share your financial struggles out in the open like this, but I know I'm just saying what at least half of the college graduates of 2004 are feeling!
But look at the first part of this blog...life feels good, for now, and I will live in today (because today is good) and leave the rest up to God. I don't even want to KNOW what will happen in the next two weeks of NOT getting a paycheck!
2 comments:
I justify my money talk with a "my salary is public record" disclaimer. So, fellow teacher, that's your justification. It's all good!! :)
Come on, you're a teacher. Let's hope *damnit doesn't come up on one of your spelling tests. JK. Amanda, I am sure what is going on is seemingly a dire situation, but I promise it will get better.
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