I was convicted this morning as I had a conversation with myself in the bathroom. This week and last week I have found myself thinking, "I deserve..."
I deserve an oatmeal raisin cookie.
I deserve a little break.
I deserve an Oreo Blizzard.
I deserve some peace and quiet.
I think this must be one of the Lies Women Believe (which is a book I read last year by Nancy Leigh Demoss. It's very good. I recommend it.) And if you ever watch TV or flip through a magazine, you'll see ads that play into this lie. And they're usually aimed right towards women, especially moms. Because motherhood is a job that never quits, that never has a break, and no one can substitute for a mom. Not really. I'm finding that out as this teething thing continues. Maryn is often only soothed by me. Flattering, but exhausting.
Think about it. This is a lie that doesn't make sense. I think I deserve a cookie. What does a wealthier housewife think she deserves? A day at the spa. And wealthier? A trip to Aruba. And wealthier? So the wealthier deserve more? A cookie wouldn't have been good enough for the woman that thought she deserved a day at the spa.
Anyway. I deserve nothing but Hell. I don't deserve the cross. And neither does anyone else. Yet God, for some reason, chose to have mercy on me. And I feel ashamed that I even spent a few minutes this morning thinking about what I deserve.
I'd like to quote something here from my Bible reading today, but it won't make sense to take just a few verses. But I read about God's great mercy in Romans 11 today. It reminded me of Elijah, when he fell exhausted, weary and frightened. He had been so brave. He had done so much work! Far more than I have done in my entire lifetime.
Yet God told Elijah to arise and eat, to keep going.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
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2 comments:
This is such a thing that I fail to realize. I definitely struggle with entitlement in a lot of areas. Everyday when I close the door for nap time my mind immediately goes to all the things that I now deserve or have earned. Ohhh...I so needed to read this today. Thanks, Amanda!
Just wanted to tell you that this post, and the previous one have blessed and challenged me. I have been thinking about them both the past few days. Every time I want to say that I don't have time to read the Bible I think in my head "liar!" hehe.
And....I Greatly appreciate the reminder that we deserve nothing but Hell, yet because of God's mercy He sent His Son, His only Son, the Son whom He loved to 'be delivered over because of our transgression, and raised because of our justification.' (Rom 4:25)
Thanks Amanda for voicing a very common thought and rejecting it through God's Word.
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