Happy Thanksgiving!

I spent today in the emergency room. Fun times getting blood taken and walking around in a rather revealing robe. For the past two days my stomach has hurt so badly that I can't even stand...so I was forbidden to eat today and tomorrow. But...I cheated...I ate noodles, pumpkin pie, and my yummy oreo/reese's/cream cheese/pudding dessert. Just the necessities, you know. I have lost a total of 8 pounds since last week. My ribs stick out funny and I can't lean with my elbows on my knees because my bones are too bony.

Anyway, I'm fine now, nothing serious. No worries. Some interesting facts about my host in New Zealand:

1. She has a cat.

I fail to remember any more right now. I'll come back to that later.

Since I know none of you watched the Kansas v. Michigan State game lastnight, let me just tell you...

Michigan State, who is (WAS) ranked number 4 (although I have no idea why) had like, 297 turnovers and looked pretty...shabby, to say the least, at least compared to KANSAS who rocked the house (ah-hem, gymnasium?). Although KS lost two of their best players, they've gained an awesome freshman, a guy who was injured last year (Simein), and this little guy, who just totally stepped up. AND KS also lost their coach (who now coaches NC, who are doing well, also) but now they have a coach who seems good enough to me, considering KS led the entire game, at one point being SEVENTEEN points ahead. I can't even really remember what the final score was now...it's not that important...I think 76-70.

Sorry. I know since mostly girls read this you all probably just skipped all that. I was a bit sick today. Once in a while my intestines just get twisted. I hope you aren't eating right now :) And, I'm spending the day reading The Winter's Tale and The Tempest. The Winter's Tale was actually really good and I think Disney should do their next animated picture on it. It's really similar to Sleeping Beauty, and Disney could use a good romance these days. ;-) A lot of Shakespeare fans would be pissed if Disney tried to recreate it, but...who cares.

Well, I'm out. Peace to you all and to all a good night!

I haven't really had anything to write about, oddly enough. I've just been kinda hangin out...writing units and avoiding writing papers and reading a book that makes me feel like being mean to everyone. Sometimes I get into characters a little too much. This is why I should only read books like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

Kansas plays Michigan State tonight, so I'm going to drive up to John's and watch that with him and Chris and then they'll leave for New Hampshire (I just typed "Hampshirt") to visit John's dad and that side of the family and I'll drive home to visit...MY FAMILY! I guess I sorta know the agenda my mother has planned for me, but I'm unsure of what's happening on my dad's side. I'm a little disappointed that I haven't seen my grandmother much or my sister, but somehow I don't think it's all my fault...maybe 50% but not totally. Anyway, it still makes me feel like a horrible person since I haven't seen Colleen since oh, like, July, maybe? Perhaps June, even. That's really stupid, isn't it? Stupid of me. Her mom just had twins! Nathaniel and Sarah. I wish I could see them :-( But what sucks about step-families and divorced ex-stepmoms is that, it's like, "Oh, sorry, we just divorced YOU too." And, truth be told, I miss them.

I got my placement lady today. Her name is Brigitte Hoskins and I hope she's nice because I'm living with her for about two and half months. :) I'm sure she is. I don't know if she's married or has kids or anything, they just said "Brigitte Hoskins." Maybe in New Zealand they don't say things like "The Hoskins Family." Hehehe. Well, you never know.

GoOdByE!!!! Happy Thanksgiving!!!

The nice thing about being an education major is that one can use lessons and papers several times instead of always starting from scratch. I'm sure this occurs less often with, say, history majors, as it might be difficult to use your research and your paper on the Incas for an African history class. Now don't get me wrong, I do have a crapload of work to do (it's for my English classes, mostly, however), but it's nice that I can do my unit for the Arts in Early Childhood (Ed. 315) on snakes and my unit in Math and Science in Early Childhood (Ed. 363) on, what else, snakes. So I have the opportunity to add extras, like a bibliography, making me look like an overacheiver, but really I can include extras (like a bibliography) because I had to do it for my 363 class anyway.

The difficult thing about my English classes is that I'm in these upper level things where we don't read the normal, mainstream classics (think Jane Austen), but weird books that aren't even on Sparknotes.com and no one in the history of man has ever written papers on. But the NICE thing about education is that, thanks to the internet and other teacher resources, there's a million and a half lesson plans for all my lesson plan needs.

I wonder, if I hadn't picked up an English minor, would I enjoy an easy, relaxed life, or would I be bored? I'd probably be bored...but less stressed, for sure.

Math and Science night is tonight. We're doing an experiment involving toy cars and paint. Fun :) If you read this in time, stop on over at Montgomery Hall...all are welcome. I don't remember what time it starts. Just come at 6 and you'll be safe.

Well here I am in the TOC on the computers there because my internet does not work. Figure that out sometime later. Anyway, I originally came up here to study because I have such an amazing amount of work to do and I have no idea how I will ever finish it all. But it turns out that most college students are inconsiderate (go figure) and like to sit 25 feet away from each other and converse that way, which means...loudly...as if they can't sit any closer than that...while I am obviously trying to concentrate and Rachel is so obviously sleeping right near me. How rude. It normally wouldn't bother me that much but this book, Trainspotting, which is what I was trying to read is a very angry, angry, angry book so it's making me want to scream at these girls. :) It turns out also that most college girls are quite loud, especially when they talk on the phone...

EXCITEMENT BUILDS AS AIRLINE TICKETS ARE PURCHASED

Yippee! We booked our flights! I'll leave from Cleveland at 3:30 on January 20th, fly to Chicago, then San Francisco, and then...Sydney! I haven't gotten a flight from Sydney to Auckland or Auckland to Whakatane yet, but that'll get taken care of and those flights shouldn't be too expensive. My ticket was $1579.20 and $1703.40 with tax, but it turns out that (I think) my student loans and such will cover that. Yay for me, ay mates? I would tell you how long the flight is but I don't really understand it all with times changing and all that. I do know that on the way back from Sydney to San Francisco, I'll leave Australia at 1:45 pm on Thursday and won't arrive in California until (yaaaawn....) hmmm...10:05 am on Thursday. Sweet. Time travel. Maybe I could just go back and forth my whole life and live every day of my life twice. :)

Well, I tried to figure out how long it will take to get to Sydney just now and I'm estimating it's about 900 million hours. Maybe I'll stop trying to figure it out and just...wing it. No pun intended!

Why is it that I am so easily dejected and so easily elevated? One simple sentence can ruin my day while another sentence can make it so much better...sentences of people, just people, or situations around me...situations that are worthless to worry about, tiny and insignificant. Most humans are this way, but for some reason I have an extra dose of some sort of formula that causes my moods to fluctuate here and there, up and down, up and down...and you know, I could easily blame my seratonin, my dopamine, and other biological factors but no, I don't think that's logical, ironically enough.

Why? Because Jesus Christ is constant...he never backs away or draws nearer...he is always as close as he can get to me...and most times, the times my moods shift up and down, up and down, are because I am relying on external things, just things that really don't matter and I'm not relying on, not focusing on Him. A lot of people say things like "God doesn't drift away from us, we drift away from Him." I don't think there's a Bible verse to support that. So, what I think is that God is always as close as he can possibly get (right inside us), and when I'm being an idiot or a jerk about something, it's not because I've "drifted" from God...(God never changes, he never leaves us or forsakes us) it's because I'm allowing external things get to me or relying on external, unreliable things (idolatry, in a sense).

Thanks for listening to me make sense of myself.

I think it's safe to say that Sylvia Plath and Robert Browning are my favorite poets. I'm writing a paper about Robert Browning (it's a lot more complicated than that but I won't bore you) so I printed out about 30 of his poems, which I get to analyze. I don't like analyzing poetry, but I do really enjoy his.


"I have but to be by thee, and thy hand
Would never let mine go, thy heart withstand
The beating of my heart to reach its place.
When should I look for thee and feel thee gone?
When cry for the old comfort and find none?
Never, I know! Thy soul is in thy face."

Isn't that beautiful? I love it.

Anyway, I've had a pretty eventful weekend, including watching a New Zealand video with my future New Zealand "mates" and celebrating Tyler's 7th birthday. The rest of the time I sat here at my desk and wrote papers. Today I get to write more papers and my unit, read Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh (don't read it) and A Winter's Tale by Shakespeare. I've never seen the f-word so much in my life as I have in Trainspotting. It's certainly not the most uplifting of novels. And the whole thing is written in a British accent, i.e.; "Nae offence meant, pal. Jist some ay they young [people] in the scheme huv been tryin tae make this thir...shootin gallery. We're no intae that."

The one guy even digs in a nasty old toilet full of crap in order to get his opium pills that he dropped in it. Sick. And this book is a classic? The back of the book says it "deserves to sell more copies than the Bible." Hmm. Maybe not.

Well, I have to walk clear over to the other side of the campus in order to meet some others to drive to church. Sigh. I hate living over here. Just kidding! Positive attitude, Amanda. I'm sorry, thanks for reminding me. I love going to church above everything else, so I'm glad I have a ride. And people think it's crazy to go every Sunday. Sundays need to occur more often, actually. It's my favorite day of the week.

Have a happy Sunday :)

Average Ohio Temperatures in January and February: 30-45 degrees F
Average Whakatane, New Zealand Temperatures in January and February: 65-75 degrees F
Average number of days with precipitation in Whakatane, NZ in January and February: 7 (rain, not snow!)
Things to do in and around Whakatane NZ: hiking, bungee jumping, skydiving, flightseeing, swimming with dolphins, visiting volcanoes, climbing...
Other places I'll most likely visit: Sydney and Fiji
How much I am excited: A lot!

Haaaa!!! I made it so that my Google webpage's icons are written in Pig Latin! It's the funniest flippin' thing in the world, I tell you!

It says, and I quote, "Earchedsay ethay ebway orfay..."

This, for some reason, just makes my day. I'm thankful that Mr. (or Ms.) Google has a sense of humor.

Top Five Breakfast Foods

1. Bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit from McDonald's
2. Sausage gravy and biscuits
3. Blueberry waffles
4. Country scramble
5. Buttermilk pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon

Mmmm! Isn't breakfast food yummmmmmy!?

Top Five Jobs I'd Like to Have

1. World Wide Restaurant Critic
2. World Wide Hotel Critic
3. Writer or Editor for World Wide Travel Guides, Magazines, etc.
or writer for Family Fun Magazine, the person who writes where you should take your family, or just you and your spouse, on vacation
4. Wife of a writer or editor or restaurant critic or hotel critic or missionary or youth leader or...anyone who travels a lot (then he could do the work and I could sit back and enjoy myself).
5. Student teacher evaluator that evaluates students who decide to do global student teaching

Anyway, you get the idea!

"Don't wanna be a working stiff
Lose my identity
'Cause when it comes
To working 9 to 5
There ain't no place for me
Ain't my reality to me."

-The Ramones

See,the thing about these online diaries is that they're really not online diaries because if they were, I would be the only one to read mine and I'd write whatever I wanted to inside. And I certainly can't write what I want, now can I? Not always.

So, I'll write about New Zealand then I guess.

I received more information the other day. I'll be at the Apanui school in Whakatane, New Zealand, which is in the Bay of Plenty. It is one of the three sunniest places in New Zealand. It looks pretty homey and settled. My mother will also be ecstatic to hear that it has New Zealand's only active volcano, which I will be able to visit. I've never seen a volcano. I saw a few churches are there that I think I'll like, one is even Baptist and another non-denominational, which both sound rather promising...not that denominations matter so much, but my other choices are Latter-Day Saints, Jehovah's Witnesses and such...I could visit the Catholic church, too, I suppose, a time or two...then maybe I can write to Dr. Nutt about the cultural experience. I wonder if mass is the same as it is every Sunday at St. Agnes in Orrville. I've never been to a Catholic church without Father Wysocki. Hmm. Maybe they'll let me burn the incense...I'll make hearts with the smoke...and sing, "Light the Fire." Or not. There's a pretty nice skate park there. I'll have to have Drew come over for a visit. :)

Anyway, if you want to visit a website of Whakatane, here is a link:

"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." -Colossians 3:14

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart..." -Colossians 3:23

I've come to a conclusion. I'm not crazy, but most everyone else is. I concluded this after reading everyone else's online diaries. Thank you friends, for the insights. You're all a bunch of nutcases.

:)

Anywhere, anywhere, anywhere, but here, but here, but here.

Identity versus Identity Confusion

I think I may have cheated myself out of never having a certain phase...

You see, we're reading the book High Fidelity by Nick Hornby in my Contemporary Brit. Lit. class. Two of the girls in there, and two of the (well, the only) guys are just really sort of...cool. They don't care what people think of them...they wear funny clothes (old corduroys, thermal shirts under silky tops, etc.), they read novels no one has heard of and listen to music no one knows. There are posters on their walls of bands that are only for those who are faithfully hardcore, they have CD's like nothing else, records too, even. They wear Pumas and sometimes even velcro(tm) shoes.

I'll have you know...I don't own a single CD here at school. Not one, and I don't intend to because I like to save my money for things like clothes and highlighting my hair. I hate corduroys and always have, always will. I hate thermal anything, too. I don't seem to have the time or energy to search for lesser-known bands and I certainly don't have the time to sit and force myself to like them. I don't have a CD player or anything of that sort, so when I want to listen to music, I listen to VH1, MTV, or CMT. Therefore, the songs I am most familiar with are by Matchbox 20, Christina Aguilera, and Martina McBride, and whatever else is popular. So, I am just this normal, people-pleasing, education major with no real hobby...I don't have a clue what music I even really, really like. When with John, I listen to Dave Matthews because he listens to it, and it's so-so. When with Lindsay, I listen to country and of course her Tim-influenced music (Weezer, for example) and I like that, but I listen to it because she does. I really don't have a favorite radio station (I actually sort of hate them all) and I really don't have a favorite music artist or band. Heck, I don't even like The Matrix. I don't even like ER!

So basically, I'm a loser, and I think those people in my lit. class make my fun of me every day. I know that I'm the kind of person people like that find annoying and unoriginal. But, I guess it's okay. My number one passion is God and he's so high above everything else...I like that, and it works for me.

But I wish that when I was around 16/17 or so that I would have went through that "cool" phase. I should have gotten tips from Winey and Jeff or something. I would have made an adorable little punk girl. ;-)

Top Fifteen Favorite Books/Stories of All Time

1. Turn of the Screw by Henry James
2. The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe
3. Possession by A.S. Byatt
4. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
5. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
6. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
7. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
8. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
9. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
10. Frank Was a Monster Who Wanted to Dance by Keith Graves
11. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
12. Cookie Monster and the Cookie Tree
13. Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
14. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
15. Amelia’s Nine Lives by Lorna Balian

Well, John broke out the big guns lastnight and totally surprised me (!!!) by driving the hour and a half that it takes to get here, took me out to eat, to the mall, and even brought roses. What a sweetie :) I'm thinking I'll keep him around a while. So here I was, talking to him on the phone lastnight at 5:30 and then he comes right through the door. Whatta shocker. I figured there was no way he would be able surprise me without me catching on, but I was wrong. Sorry I underestimated ya, pal :) I'll have to keep a closer eye on him from now on...

So my birthday ended up being a great one, and it won't end until our lovely trip to Chicago in December. I'm just a little bit excited :-D

Meanwhile, I've been reading Joshua because it's such a great "coming of age" book, really...be strong, be courageous, remember what God has done for you, meditate on his word, act on his promises, receive and baske in his blessings. Mmmmh. Doesn't that sound wonderful? It sounds more wonderful than the brownie sundae I couldn't eat for free at Garfield's lastnight. ::sigh:: I'm dealing with some chocolate cravings lately...sorry :)

Have a great day!!!

Well, it's that time of year again...the time where I get to thank my mother...

...for bringing me into the world
...for being my very best friend
...for always understanding
...for being so dedicated
...for being so devoted
...for being so unselfish and giving
...for being my protector
...for being my comforter
...for being so huggable
...for being so beautiful
...for being so forgiving of all the pain I put her through 22 years ago today at Dunlap Memorial Hospital in Orrville, Ohio.

This day isn't just mine, it's also yours. 22 years ago today you gave up yourself and ever since, you've been giving and giving and giving. So today I celebrate not just me, but the woman who made me possible.

Thanks, Mom. I love you.

Squares

Separate,
Breaking apart but not
Tearing.
Overlapping, sometimes
Colliding.
Obvious differences
Spoken, revealed.
Shifting, shoving, and
Pushing away.
Hiding, shrinking, hoping
Not to be seen. Not to speak.
Dramatizing, living in
Lights.
Watch me.
Watch me.
Watch me.
Learning to fade,
Beginning to whither.
Shining on, lackluster.