So, we moved.

The downstairs living room and play area (bathroom #2, a half bath is off to the right by the stairs).

Owen and Josiah's room

The kitchen is always bright and sunny!  It has a patio door, a window above the sink,
AND a sky light.

This is the downstairs bathroom.  Behind those ugly metal  folding doors is our washer, dryer and heater thingies.

The other part of the kitchen.  I know you love that gold chandelier.  :)

Most of you probably know that we bought a house.  Yes, we are first time home buyers.  I don't really know what all the fuss is about.  I was thinking maybe I'd understand once we were officially home owners, but I'm still a little bewildered.  I mean, I am grateful we bought it. I just don't feel like this is the ultimate sign that we have "made it," if you know what I mean.

We just had to get out of that little second story apartment.  We had to live in a place where I could let the kids outside.  I honestly thought I'd feel a lot of culture shock being in a stand alone house rather than in the dormitory life we'd been experiencing for the last 3.5 years, for the majority of Maryn's life and most of my life as a stay at home mom.  Indeed, it is weird to not have our neighbors, who are some of my best and closest friends, right across the hall.  

But I really love it!

I love letting my kids out the door and they can play by themselves.  I can let them settle their differences on their own rather than having to deal with that awkwardness of neighbor kids' fights and arguments and whatever.  "Your kid told my kid to shutup," you know the scenarios.  :)  My kids can leave their toys for a few minutes and when we go back out the toys are. still. there.  Hallelujah!  No one touches our stuff!  Hahaha!  I guess I know where Maryn gets her inability to share :)

We have hardly met any neighbors.  That really does kind of make me sad.  I might go knock on a few doors.  I tried to talk to a lady walking by with her dog but she wasn't very interested.  The neighbors right next door are very sweet.  Maybe I'll get the courage to ask them over for dinner.

We are now ten minutes away from our church, which is awesome.  I'm hoping to get more involved with ministries there.  I went to women's bible study for the first time and I really liked it.  I still feel really disconnected and am praying God would give me just one (or maybe two?) really good friend.  If God doesn't give me a friend soon, I might have to get a cat.  Ha!  Just kidding John :)

One thing that's the hardest for us as homeowners is feeling content.  When you're a renter, you live with the little things that don't meet your expectations.  But in this house we own, the metal bi-fold closet doors are driving us nuts, the gold fixtures everywhere, the horrible cheap blinds and vertical blinds, yikes.  The lighthouse border in the bathroom.  The oak cabinets everywhere.  Sigh.  

Unfortunately we don't have money for a $30,000 remodel.  

Especially when there are so many repairs to make, landscaping to do, a lawn mower to buy, etc.  So this is what it's like to have the American Dream!  We made it!

Earth Day

What are you doing for Earth Day?  Every year I try to make a change for the better of our planet and our health.  This year I bought some of these from our food buying club (at half price!  Yay!).

Wrap N Mat

They are just these cloth things I guess that you can wrap sandwiches and snacks in and then they unfold and you can use them as place mats.  They can be washed in the washer.  I'm pretty excited.  Plastic bags are so trashy.  These look so cute!  I hope we don't lose them.  I mean, I hope we don't lose them right away (I know we will lose them....).

Here are some other changes I'd like to make eventually but we just bought a house (yay!) and obviously can't afford an overhaul of all things toxic.  It's so sad there's so many bad things out there.

-Replace all Teflon and aluminum or metal pans with stainless steel, baking stones, or cast iron (I'm using parchment paper in the meantime for baking).
-Replace most plastic containers, Tupperware, etc. with glass storage containers or stainless steel.
-Stock up on incandescent bulbs before they get phased out by CFLs.
-Use less paper towels or none at all (I'm not ready for this right now).
-Avoid styrofoam at all costs.
-Always carry a water bottle so you can avoid the temptation or reason to buy bottled water or sugary drinks (this is so worth the time and effort!  We save a lot of money this way).
-Switch to eco-friendly cleaning and laundry products.
-Switch to healthier, environmentally friendly personal care products.

What are some other ideas?

Beautiful Babies E-Course Notes: Lesson Two

Notes/Ideas from Dr. Russell Blaylock Interview

Why get information from sources such as talk radio and blogs, rather than scientific journals?  Industrialized food has been around for about 100 years so it's therefore still experimental.  And does it seem like industrialized food benefits our health?  It sure doesn't seem like it to me.

-The Monsanto Company funds The Journal of Clinical Nutrition, among others.

 A diet high in MSG will cause more carbohydrate and sugar cravings over protein rich foods, making it very hard or impossible to diet the weight off.  The metabolism and appetite spin out of control.

Soy is one of the worst things you can eat.  A 25 year study showed that those who ate the most soy suffered severe brain atrophy and dementia.

"Natural" products with yeast extract, hydrolyzed yeast extract, produce free amino acids in the body which cause glutamic acid to rise drastically, which our bodies were made to deal with.

Splenda (sucralose):  Thymus suppression.  Can be very dangerous for children, destroy their immune system.

Colgate-Palmolive, fluoride study, a scientist was fired for fighting against fluoride

76 Ways Sugar Can Ruin Your Health
WOW

Video Notes

The Dangers of MSG
About Kaizen
The Dangers of Modern Vegetable Oils
Dangers of GMOs
Industrial Meats

Eat Food! And Enjoy It!

Making baked oatmeal bars (recipe below)

Self feeding at its finest

Bath time might be happening around here three times a day!

Baked Oatmeal Bars

Day One
Combine in glass or ceramic bowl:
           3 cups rolled oats (or combination of oats and buckwheat)
           1/2 cup butter or coconut oil, melted
           3/4 cup plain whole milk yogurt
           3/4 cup filtered water
           5/8-1 cup sucanat
           1-2 teaspoons cinnamon

Cover and let sit for 12-124 hours in a warm place (a cupboard above the fridge, on top of the oven, or in a microwave).

Day Two
Preheat Oven to 350 degrees.
Grease 11 x 7 baking dish

Add to oat mixture:
            2 eggs, beaten
            1 teaspoon sea salt
            2 teaspoons baking powder
            Optional:  1/2 cup raisins or dried cranberries OR 1-2 tart apples chopped

Pour into greased baking dish and bake for 25-35 minutes.  This can be served as is or topped with chopped nuts, ground flaxseed, raw milk, yogurt, etc.

Beautiful Babies E-Course Notes, Lesson One

I am taking an e-course online and the website suggested we take "beautiful notes" somewhere.  I didn't want to start a notebook because I have a terrible time keeping track of a notebook and I always end up using them for lists or scribble paper for Josiah or drawing paper for Maryn.  So I'm just keeping my notes here on my blog.  Sorry; I know it's boring stuff and I'm not really going to make it too interesting.  I also bought the book, Beautiful Babies (Nutrition for Fertility, Pregnancy, Breastfeeding, and Baby's First Foods) by Kristen Michaelis.

Beautiful Babies E-Course
by Kristen Michaelis (of FoodRenegade.com)

Video 1:  Nutrition Matters
If a child with fetal alcohol syndrome can be born with facial abnormalities, can a pregnant woman with a very healthy diet give birth to a baby who will have few facial abnormalities and therefore be less likely to need braces, eye glasses, or be less likely to have allergies, ear infections, cavities, etc?

Video 2:  What is Nutritionism?
-Nutritionism is the focus on nutrients rather than food.  Labels and banners on food these days focus on "anti-oxidants, fiber, protein, Omega 3s..."  Food is seen as a delivery system for nutrients.
-Nutrients are only visible to food scientists with their microscopes, so we think we need an expert to tell us what to eat (rather than going with our natural desires).  We follow a food "priesthood."
-Nutritionism divides the world into good and evil.  There's always a satanic nutrient or additive we've demonized.  Now it's trans-fats.  It used to be saturated fats.
-Nutritionism assumes the whole point of eating is health.  No other traditional culture thinks of food this way.  They eat for pleasure, community, family, ritual purposes, religious practices, to express their identity (abstaining from pork, for example).

Nutritionism doesn't make us any healthier.
Nutritionism thinks the fake version of a food can be healthier than the real version of a food (margarine is "healthier" than butter).

Video 3:  What Traditional Food Cultures Can Teach Us
Weston A. Price, a dentist, noticed more and more children coming to his office with horrible tooth decay and terrible face/teeth abnormalities.  The only cause he could think of was diet.

So Dr. Price traveled the world finding cultures that ate traditional diets.  He noticed their children did not have facial abnormalities, cavities, allergies, etc.

These traditional cultures all ate meat, and they ate the whole animal, with a great focus on organ meats.  Fermented foods like saurkraut, sourdough bread, properly prepared grains and nuts and seeds (soaked)
It makes more sense to follow what these successful, fertile, healthy cultures ate than follow the dietary guidelines our government agencies come up with that are constantly changing.

crafty bunnies

 Life has been beyond crazy here.  I'm not sure I can even put it into words or explain why or how it feels so crazy.  So I haven't had much time to blog or do crafts with the kids.  I guess part of the reason is because Owen is crawling all over the place and has also been refusing to take naps longer than 20 minutes.  And there was DST.  And a strange illness.  And crazy weather.  And a two year old who is now breathing and sleeping very well and has become a tyrant during the day, not knowing what to do with all his energy and emotions.  Sigh.  I need a vacation.  I've reached that point in my stressed out mommy days where just everyone annoys me.  Does this happen to everyone, or is it just me?

One good result of basically ignoring your kids for hours each day (while cleaning, packing, etc.) is that they eventually learn to play together and entertain themselves.  Yesterday though I decided to do a craft with them and we made these adorable bunnies.

 I wish I could sugar coat it and say it was such a joy to make these with my kids but of course it was actually kind of annoying too.  Thankfully we were able to go outside and play afterward, and spent a huge chunk of time this morning outside again.  Sunshine makes such a huge difference!

Owen gets a little bored during crafts :)

I'm grateful I have a sort of mommy vacation coming up as I am meeting my friend Kendra in Cincinnati in just a couple weeks for a homeschool conference.  Owen has to come with me of course, which will make it very interesting.  But I have a feeling my kiddos will miss me a little bit, I will miss them a whole lot, and we'll be less annoyed with each other for a while.  Sometimes everyone needs a break :)

Maryn and I have been really enjoying reading The Secret Garden, my favorite book of all time.  She is becoming a winsome little girl, full of fantasy and wonder.  I really love it.  She will be four and a half soon and I am loving this age.

Josiah's speech is coming along splendidly.  He's experimenting with his voice a whole lot too, finding echoes whenever he can and taking advantage of it (screaming wherever he finds one, including public restrooms and the Chick-Fil-A Play Place even during story time).  The occupational therapist is helping us a lot with his bedtime routines and he's staying in his bed all night, almost every night!  I think his behavior will improve greatly once we can get outside more often.

Now I really must go...Owen has been crying in his bed all this time...and Josiah is begging for food.  :-/

Owen, 9 months old

 Crawling

 Standing

 Eating table food

Causing trouble!

Owen turned 9 months old on February 21st, and he weighs 20 lbs still.  He has really been moving, playing with his siblings and playing by himself as well.  He has an uncanny ability to spot the smallest object on the floor and pop it in his mouth super fast.  He has an incredible wingspan that allows him to pull things off grocery shelves, kitchen shelving and has also been known to turn around in the grocery cart and pull things from the back, such as celery leaves, and eat them.

He is an adorable, squishy little boy.  I kiss him all day long, and though he is losing much of his chubs, his thighs are still very chubby and I squeeze them all day too :)

He has FOUR teeth!  Two top and two  bottom.

He says Dada, Tickle Tickle, and I think he says "Josiah."

He thinks the word NO is hilarious.

We love our sweet baby Owen.  Also known as Owie Badowie.

Daddy Lets Me Get a Little Crazy

Fun with Grammy :)

 Here's some interesting pictures I found on our camera after Maryn and I were at church....

Fun with Anna

Grammy and Auntie Anna Visit!

Pretty girl

 Grammy and Aunt Anna (John's Mom and Sister) came to visit this weekend!  It was kind of a last minute visit. They drove all the way from Minnesota so that they could visit us and also so Anna could visit U of L!  She has been accepted there, so let's hope that maybe she'll be here next fall.  Wouldn't that be aweeeesome!!!!!

Stories with Grammy

Just hanging out with Auntie Anna and Grammy!

Maryn made this penguin for Grammy :)

The kids had so much fun hanging out with them and wearing them out :)  I sure hope this means we will see lots more of them in the next few years.

The Healthy Eating Plan...

pumpkin spice creamer

Well it's been one week since we decided to really buckle down and start eating healthier.  We have been trying to basically eliminate most sugar and really limit our carbs, our fake stuff, and eat more real, clean, organic and healthier food.

We have had some failures and some successes.  I'll tell you about the failures first.

One of my first missions was to eliminate my coffee creamer.  This is a problem for me because I need to avoid dairy in the mornings because I'm a little bit lactose intolerant, especially on an empty stomach.  So I can't just use milk or half and half.  There's a bunch of weird stuff in non-dairy creamers, so I set out on a search to find the healthiest substitute I could.  First, I made this pumpkin spice creamer with almond milk.  It was disgusting.  Almond milk is disgusting.

Then I tried coconut milk creamer (So Delicious French Vanilla Coffee Creamer) and it's pretty good on its own, but once it's in the coffee it just doesn't sweeten it enough for me.  So I have been using a little coconut creamer and a little real maple syrup....and a little fake creamer too (shhh).  Baby steps, people.  Baby steps.

I tried a few other recipes from that same website (The Gracious Pantry).  All the recipes were just awful (honey almond cookies, gingerbread oatmeal...).  I've basically decided that if we ever make, like, a lot of money, we are gonna march our little hineys to Trader Joe's or Whole Foods and buy frozen meals and things that are pretty much made.

Here are some winning snacks and things we liked.

Low Sodium Sea Salt Pita Chips (Trader Joe's):  These were such a yummy snack for me and very filling.  SIGH but I need to find some hummus or something to go with them.  Gross.

Homemade Clif Bars:  I tried substituting 1/4 cup of maple syrup for the honey, and WOW, it knocked out the weird honey taste that I don't really like.  So good!

Corn Tortilla Chips and Salsa:  John's favorite snacks

Melange a Trois Pepper Mix (Trader Joe's):  Frozen, julienned peppers that were so cheap and easy to add to basically everything.

And I love having this protein bread I got at TJs as a nighttime snack!  With nothing but real butter on top.  I wouldn't really like it with a sandwich.  But maybe someday...

Steel Cut Oats are really yummy but kind of WEIRD.  I like them with just a bit of cinnamon and of course, maple syrup.  I guess I need to eventually cut back on maple syrup.

I've been drinking chamomile tea at night with local honey...and maybe some syrup...

I drank tea without sugar or sweetener!

I think I'm supposed to drink green tea on this diet.  Not sure...not sure I'm convinced it's magical.

Thank God for Trader Joe's.

The kids are loving this new style of eating.  They are hilarious.  They love that they can have fruit or veggies basically whenever they want.  They're shocked that I let them have so much honey drizzled over their fruit.  Josiah was hugging and dancing with the jar of honey in the kitchen.  They just can't get enough.  And are loving veggies more than ever.  It makes me realize their sugar addiction was really more about me and my self control than it is about them.  I'm so glad the tantrums are at a minimum as they're not getting so upset about being denied sugar!

John lost 8 pounds.

I have only had one can of Coke in a week!  And I had a Coke at a restaurant too.  :)

I really did feel better when I had lower sugar days, and didn't crave sugar unless I cheated.  I didn't lose any weight of course, but that's no surprise.  ;-)  We didn't cut out cheese and dairy but I did cut back a good bit.  Baby steps!

Second Kid Potty Training Day Two

Josiah and Potty Training:  Day one was such a huge success potty training Josiah.  He's much better at holding it than Maryn and has a bigger bladder, so it was just a lot less messy.  He was excited, cooperative and maybe a little overzealous.  John was home, which helped motivate him immensely I believe.  Today has not been as much of a success. Actually it hasn't involved a single "success" and has been rather exhausting.  I'm taking a break by 1.) blogging and 2.) bleaching our kitchen.  If our bathroom can't be clean, at least our kitchen will be.  The top of our fridge was dis.gust.ing.  I know for a fact I cleaned it a month ago but yuck, yuck.  How the heck does it get like that in a matter of four weeks?

Maryn has been such a great help and encourager!

Maryn and Charlotte Mason:  I am reading a book called "When Children Love to Learn."  There is so much truth in this book.  I am learning a ton about myself, education, God and my relationship with him.  I'm learning a little bit about why I have such a works-righteousness mentality, and I'm learning why FlyLady has been so successful for me (it's about learning good habits, not completing a to-do list or getting a reward).  I've learned that I really have to work on 1.)  Being sweet to my kids and 2.)  Not trying to manipulate them with my looks, my sarcasm or whatever.  I'll be officially homeschooling in just about a year and a half (that's when we will have to register with the state), so I gotta get mySELF into these routines and habits if I expect the same from my kids.

We were outside and Maryn said, "Mom look!  I wonder why the ground is all cracked?"  I looked and it was clear that after the rain we had the other night, the dirt was then drying in the sunshine and cracking.  Yay!  I was so excited she was making these observations in nature (Shutup!  I know I'm a dork:))!  But instead of a big lecture I just asked her why she thought it might be cracking, and was it wet or dry?  She said it was wet but it was drying in the sun.  I stopped myself from going into a big "lecture."  I'm so glad I did, because instead of listening to me ramble, she continued to venture around the yard looking for cracks.  She ended up seeing a place where a groundhog had made tunnels and she and a friend had a little adventure looking at things on the ground.  The Charlotte Mason method is a lot about not spoon-feeding and lecturing our kids, but in exploring the world for themselves and making more of their own connections, doing their own research, asking questions, etc.

Owen and Milestones:  Owen has been hitting a lot of milestones lately.  It's even more exciting with the third baby when they get new toofers, learn to sit up, wave, clap, etc.  It seems not long ago Maryn learned to do these things and this bittersweet reminder of how quickly they grow has been making John and I hold on to her a little tighter.

On Christmas Eve, Owen learned how to clap.  He did it for a few days but seems to have forgotten about it.  But he has been waving consistently and I swear it's the cutest thing I have ever seen.  lol okay, I say that about everything, I know.

He is getting interested in crawling and pulling up on things but HAS NOT done either yet (thank God...just kidding...sort of...).  He's not totally back to himself since our illness.  He had a terrible ear infection and is on antibiotics now.  He's feeling so much better but I think the antibiotics make him feel yucky.

Sleeping:  The kids have been sleeping better.  We had a great night last night.  And by "great" I mean, I woke up with Owen to nurse at 12:30, 3:30 (and changed his poopy diaper!), and 6:30.  Josiah was up at 6 and I made him go back to bed.  But after I got Owen back down, everyone slept past 7:30!  Meaning...wait for it....I TOOK A SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I also read my Bible!!!!!  And I made the bed, got dressed, and had a cup of coffee with my handsome manly man!

Family Picture :)

Maryn learning to twirl her spaghetti

Shootin hoops!  He's such an all-star.

Spaghetti Face

We have been playing pirates all day.  Here's Maryn with her scary pirate flag.  Arrgghh!

winter fun

We've mostly recovered from our illnesses...I think...and here are a few things we've been doing, trying to pass the time, stay busy, and not go crazy.

Maryn's beautiful penguin picture.  Penguins are her favorite animal!

Josiah's adorable penguin.  He did a great job gluing and putting it together!

We made "chocolate popcorn" which we will post on our cooking blog soon.

Maryn's coloring has really progressed. Notice how she colors things the "right" colors now,
as in she colored the outline of the wings all blue and the middles all yellow.  I think it's pretty impressive, lol.

Maryn's been such a great helper, and she's been  more interested in reading and finding information.  She loves "The Blue Fairy" book we got at the library, which is a collection of old fairy tales.  A FANTASTIC read.  I hope we can buy all the "Fairy" books someday.

Maryn also made a fairy house and is hoping she gets more fairy visitors.  A fairy named Blossom even mailed us a letter to say she had visited and sent us a few pictures to color, like the one above.  And some fairies have also left behind fairy dust.  Hmmm....but we haven't actually seen any fairies yet.

The fairy house

complete with fireplace, furnishings, curtains 

Our living room today, after getting out some baby toys that were in "rotation."

We also made hamburger buns, which wasn't all that much fun, but I just posted that on our cooking blog as well.  :)  Happy 2013, everyone.

Owen Michael, 7 months

Our sweet Owen is now seven months old and his personality is starting to really shine.  He is sweet and happy, super cuddly, a go-getter, a seeker and a finder.  I think he is a genius!  He has the physical abilities Josiah did at a young age (waving bye bye already, rolling balls back and forth) but has this way of studying, looking at people, and babbling like Maryn did as a baby.  He doesn't really look at books with us like the other two did.  He attacks them!  He attacks all the touchy-feely books and every other kind of book rather aggressively.  Even his kisses are pretty aggressive!  He pats us on the back aggressively, too.  It's adorable. He has said da-da for a while, but has progressed into saying what sounds just like "Hey Dada!" all the time. I think he calls everyone dada.

He loves to wave at me while I'm nursing him, right in front of my face, with a smile so big!

He is very easy to engage.  Playing with him and cuddling him is addicting.  But he does very well just sitting on the floor and observing or even sitting by himself for a while.  I often sneak into his bedroom to grab something and find him just laying there awake, playing with his hands.

He loves bath time, loves his brother and sister, and loves to play with crinkly things and balls.  He can always find paper and has, ahem, choked on paper more than once.  :)  He is a big boy.  A whopping 20 pounds, and tall too!

It amazes me that all our children look and act so different.  We love you, Owen!

Here's a post about Maryn at 7 months.  http://mandilu.blogspot.com/2009/04/cute-little-bully.html

Great Expectations

Tonight is just one of those nights I need to sit down and write.  I remember these nights.  They happened long ago when I had time to think and even write down my thoughts.  It seems nights like this are rare.  But all three children are in bed at 10 pm, for once, and here I am in front of a screen when I should be climbing into bed.

It's safe to say we are all a little shaken by the events that occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT on Friday.  While I was obviously disturbed and upset by what happened there, I, in usual fashion, went on with my days just like all other days.  Not really thinking, not really feeling, not really praying about any of it.

Expectations

My expectations of this season were pretty big.  Since we found out we were having a baby and that baby would be born in May, I've been looking forward to this Christmas.  How fun it will be to have a four year old, a two and a half year old, and a seven month old at Christmas?  Perhaps I will remember this Christmas for the rest of my life.  Owen's chubby little hands clawing at wrapping paper and delighted smiles at every new toy.  Josiah's sweet giggles and frosting-smeared grins.  Maryn spontaneously combusting with excitement.

And here we are...in the middle of the Christmas season.  So many children were killed.  Babies not returned to their mamas that day.  And here I am...trying to get things done, getting frustrated with my kids, dragging them around to a million things each day, pumping them with sugar and then trying to have special moments in front of the fire or reading Christmas stories or singing Christmas songs...but then someone poops or bites or hits (for my family, it's usually poop) and everything is not perfect.  Reality sets in.

When Jesus came to earth, he came in a way no one expected.  He did not overthrow the government like most Jews expected.  He fulfilled prophecies which seem so obvious to many of us now, but he was not what a lot of people expected, so they didn't recognize him as Messiah.  So many Jewish people did not know he was their King.  I read this question in my advent book today:  "Have you ever had the experience of being disappointed because your expectations clashed with reality?"

"Have you ever had the experience of being disappointed because your expectations clashed with reality?"

Do you know that this is my life?  That I have very clear expectations in my head of almost everything.  In some ways, this is a gift.  As a teacher especially, it was helpful.  I could plan our day and foresee problems or potential downfalls.  As a parent, this is not as huge of a gift.  Expect the unexpected is what they say, isn't it?  Honestly, my expectations are so huge, that this little "gift" has become a huge, whopping sin.  I have no idea how I never saw it before.  I see it there, right in the middle of my life, like a giant spider with its legs outstretched, reaching every corner of my existence.  My expectations.  Destroying friendships, messing up all my relationships, my jobs, my days.

This is the same sin as God's own people, the Jews, who were so familiar with all the prophecies and still mostly rejected Jesus as Messiah.  It's a big deal.

I think of the sweet older women who plead with young mothers to enjoy this time with my kids.  It goes so quickly.  Yes, yes I know, but...but...what?

I give up.  I can't do anything right.  Even when I am trying so, so hard.  The answer, CLEARLY, is Jesus.  I pray he would remove my fuzzy lenses of expectations and show me reality this Christmas.  Maybe reality is something to be embraced, enjoyed and experienced without fear and without reservation.  Without a plan and without financial backing.  Jesus wasn't what anyone expected.  He was so much more, and I know he has a better way for me, too, than the one I've been living.

Surgery

So one of the reasons I haven't posted is because Google says I have to pay more money to load pictures on here.  Boo.  I think we'll figure something out soon though.  I just wanted to jot down a few things here tonight.

We took Josiah to an ENT a few weeks ago and the doctor thought that Josiah's tonsils and allergies were not bad enough to require surgery till he was older.  I told the doctor at that appointment I was worried about his sleep because it seems like he stops breathing in his sleep, but the doctor kind of looked at me like I was crazy and said we could record the sound of him sleeping on our phone and bring it in for him to listen.  So we did and the doctor agreed he does indeed have some sleep apnea.  Also, yesterday at his appointment, his tonsils looked miserable (far worse than our first appointment) and his ears still had fluid in them, so the doctor wants to get his adenoids and tonsils out as soon as possible and possibly put tubes in his ears.

I am feeling so relieved!  I have expected and wanted Josiah to have this surgery since he was born.  He's always sounded awful to me while he sleeps but our pediatrician and every other doctor that has seen him has said he sounds fine.  But he doesn't sound fine at night at all and has always had weird waking up issues, including sleep walking and talking.

But when we got home I opened the folder the ENT office gave us and the pamphlet right inside is titled "Pediatric Surgery," and ugh, those words give me the shivers.  Sooooooo instead of just floating through this surgery thing like it's nothing, I am going to try to practice letting myself feel and be emotional, and yet cast all my anxiety on God, because He cares for me, and He cares for our sweet boy Josiah!

I think this surgery is going to mean great changes for him.   I think he will sleep a lot better, feel a lot better, be much more active (yay) in some ways but maybe more attentive in some ways, too.  He's gone through life feeling tired, I think, and honestly John and I are pretty tired, too!

Here's to a more comfortable life and better sleep.  Your prayers are greatly appreciated!  We have never gone through anything like this with our kids before!  Usually I am the one having surgery and for some strange reason I really prefer it that way.

Maryn is jealous.  Of course.  :-p

Mommy Wars Update

I didn't take a shower last night.  After I finished that post, I looked down at Owen and he smiled so big up at me.  Then he spit up all over himself and I had to change him.  Once his wet jammies were off he looked so cute with all his fat, chubby rolls, that I ended up cuddling and tickling him until I just took him to bed at 10:20.

John got home at 12:30 am, apparently, and while he was winding down on the couch Josiah and Maryn both woke up at different times.  Maryn was wet.  John took care of that.  Josiah was sleepwalking.  John led him back to his bed.

Josiah somehow did end up sleeping with us.

I showered at 6:30 am.  Owen stayed in the bed with John, and Josiah watched Blue's Clues, while I showered.  Then Owen and Maryn woke up, John went back to bed, and I got ready while they all played in the living room.  The tricky part was that I could NOT come out of the bathroom or else Owen would see me and cry.

Then I served in the two year old class at church and had three two year olds to myself for one miserable hour.

And I was very happy to come home to my three kids who are much cuter and tolerable...because they are mine and because I love them!  :)

Mommy Wars ;-)

Okay, so I'm just really confused about how mothers function.  I know this is a fun season of life that will pass really quickly, and that in many ways the school age years and the teenage years will be even more difficult, exhausting or emotionally draining.

Right now, I have one kid who stays up late (usually he's up till 11 at least) and wakes up every 2-4 hours at night, and obviously ends up sleeping with us in our bed because I can't possibly stay awake enough to nurse him sitting up and put him back in his bed.  But I'm stuck sleeping in this awkward position which kills my back because I've gotten so out of shape, blah blah blah.

The other kid rises before the sun.  Sometimes he's not even actually awake.  But sometimes he wakes up at 2 am, 3 am, and just doesn't know it's not time to get up yet.  And he also ends up sleeping with us because we're not even sure what happens or how he got into our bed until his foot ends up kicking us in the head or his butt lands in our face.  But at least he hasn't been fighting bed time like he used to--he went months and months fighting bed time.  I almost completely threw in the towel and was even making him sleep in the bathroom for nap times because he seemed to prefer it to his bed.

The other child does just fine at night other than the fact she refuses to wear Pull Ups and we have to wake her up to pee, sit her on the potty even while she's pretty much asleep and falling over, and even then she often still pees the bed and I have to wash her sheets, her pee sheet, her quilt and sometimes even her pillow every. single. day.  And this child also does not take a nap.  I do make her take a "quiet time," but let's face it:  It's just not the same.

So my question tonight, as I sit here with baby number three playing at my feet, is when should I take a shower for church?  Should I do it at 11:00 after baby is in bed, or should I do it at some point in the early morning hours when all three kids seems to be asleep?  I can't ask my hubby for help...he's working late, and will need to sleep so that he can go with us to church.  This is just one of the many types of dilemmas I face. It might not seem like a big deal, but it wears on a person...you know?

I'm not sure if I am the only mother with young children who feels this way.  I know many mothers with young kids who walk around like normal people, dressed and looking great, who seem very put together and like they are managing things just fine.  Are they for real?  Is there a secret housekeeper hiding in their closets?  Are they really that kind to their kids all the time?  Are they really not freaking out about anything?  WHY do they look so....rested?

FlyLady has been a tremendous blessing and I do feel like our house is "clean," and is usually just 15 minutes away from being "company ready," but do you have any idea (I mean, do you have a clue?!) what it takes to get it that way and keep it that way?  I feel like I am going non-stop--everything is planned, plotted, etc.  Even sitting down and watching a show at night with John is just because I feel like I should, and I sit and watch it still feeling like I should be doing something else, or thinking about what I should do tomorrow, or regretting that I didn't do what I should have done an hour ago.

I know you'll say, "Amanda, you need a break!  Go get some coffee.  Have a friend over for tea.  Go work out in the mornings, go do this and have a hobby and set a timer and kiss your babies and have a date night and read your Bible and pray and paint your nails, blah, blah, blah whatever...."

I know!  I know I'm caught up in works righteousness.  All you need is grace, grace, Lord give me grace!  Some days though, when I've gotten by on 5 or less hours of sleep a night for 3 weeks straight, I just consistently feel like the grace in my gas tank is running on empty.

And those are my thoughts tonight, as I try to get a shower.  I am going to stick this baby in the exersaucer, pull it into the bathroom, and I am going to take a shower.  If it's the last. thing. I. do.

Special Moments

Maryn is figuring out reading!  And here she is doing a little word family game from Aunt Cathy.

These two are getting really close.  Maryn is so great with him.

Josiah loves to play with the rice while Maryn paints and draws and colors.

I love to do real art (rather than just "crafts"), and I am grateful I have such a gifted  student.  Josiah is doing very well painting and coloring as well.  I am so excited :)

Neighbors Elise, Bekah and I got together and made these sweet wreaths!  Guests are supposed to write on the leaves what they are thankful for.  So far Maryn has added to the wreath:  Art Supplies and People.  Ha!

This is Maryn laughing at Josiah as he drank his paint water.

This is an adorable painting of The Princess and the Pea!

Josiah is quite a handful lately.  I wondered why they were being so quiet.   He and Maryn had spread very thick, expensive shea baby lotion in their hair, on their clothes, and all over their bodies.

I guess things like this are a rite of passage.

And this sweet baby.  I just have no words.

He's sitting up pretty well.  And drooling a lot.

So cute I could just die.  :)