Beautiful Chaos

Life is really in a state of beautiful chaos right now.  There are little piles of tiny things here and there, placed high on shelves--a sign that we have a toddler who wants to put everything in his mouth.  The items are usually an assortment of tiny toys, writing utensils, bottle caps, sticks, rocks, coins.  There are little love notes scattered through the house as well, adorned with stars, hearts, and often the words "I luv yoo ______," which indicate there's a little girl here eager to begin kindergarten.  There are golf balls and clubs, hockey sticks and swords, sand, dirt, leaves, balls of all shapes and sizes, signaling the presence of a three year old boy.  And now we have slobbery bones and a water dish that constantly has water all around it but not necessarily in it--the evidence that a dog lives here.  There are stacks and stacks of insurance envelopes and new employee binders, indicating that someone just made a career change.  There are strange books strewn all about that no one would ever read for fun, signaling someone is also in a seminary church history class.  There are children's books, learning materials, lists, schedules--all evidence that preschool and kindergarten take place here sometimes, whenever the mood strikes us.  There is whey and raw milk and fresh butter and cod liver oil in the fridge, garden vegetables, gobs of leftovers sitting in the refrigerator, salmon in the freezer, and something is always soaking or cooking on the counter--signs that we are trying to eat healthier.  And now there are pregnancy books mixed in with the seminary books, there are snacks on my bed stand, folic acid supplements on the counter, all evidence that someone here is pregnant.

Are these people crazy?

I think one thing that happens as more and more kids (and pets) are added to a home, is that we learn to let things go.  We learn to do more in some areas, less in others, and just let things go.  Fly Lady has helped me get a hold of our laundry and dishes, and I feel good just knowing there is never a pile of laundry to do or fold, or dishes to wash.  Our sheets are usually pretty clean, the carpet is pretty vacuumed, the beds are made.  The lawn should have been mowed days ago, the house might smell a little like trash or diapers, the kitchen floor is never really "clean," but that's okay.  My kids watch TV, I'm just not there with the no-TV rule...not yet.  I get on facebook and text too much.  I'm not perfect, and I'm not beating myself up about it.  I'm doing what I can, when I can, with the knowledge that I could probably do more, could probably be better at a lot of things, but also knowing it takes time to get there.  I have years to grow.

God works on me in little snippets through my day.  I usually do my best to sit down with my Bible alone in the morning, or with the kids at breakfast, or later in the day, or all of the above.  I have verses we are memorizing, hymns we are learning or listening to again and again, and always a book I'm working through on the Kindle.  Bibles, Kindle, verses, etc., are all over the place and I pick them up when I sit down or look at them while I cook.  God works on me as I prepare food, and as my kids say hilarious or sweet things, and he works on me after I've lost my temper, and he works on me when they act just like me, and their ugly behavior is like a mirror...

Someday, the little love notes will be gone.  The piles of choking hazards placed up high will be gone.  The sweetness that exists between my hubby and I when I'm pregnant will change to some other kind of feeling.  And the sports equipment lying all around will be gone as well.  When did my children become old enough to write love notes (M), play baseball (J), or be able to open the dishwasher by themselves and pull out knives (O)?

As children get older, and as we add more, we learn to let things go.  That realization that they really do grow up, they really will leave, and this phase of life really is special, changes something in us that nothing else possibly could.  

So, it is chaos.  Beautiful chaos.  That means, it's chaos I'm okay with.  I'm comfortable here, sitting on the couch with one child sleeping beside me, one child doing puzzles and singing in the next room,, a dog sleeping below me, a toddler sleeping upstairs, and a giant mess in almost every room of the house.

Psalm 121:1-2  "I lift up my eyes to hills, From where does my help come?  My help comes from the LORD, who made Heaven and earth."