Happy day! Sarah and I are chillin today in good ol' Orrville...or Canton, or Wooster, or something like that. You know. I think our dates with Ben and Jerry days are over due to my recent incline of intolerance to lactose. Oooh, that sounded intelligent. STILL no luck on the job front, and I am starting to worry....starting to wonder how I'll be able to afford my own place by next summer, my own car... Ohhh nooo what am I ever going to do? Don't worry, Amanda, God has a plan. I know He does. Then why are you freaking out? I'm NOT! Leave me alone! Yeah, so um...I'm a little scared. A little scared of growing up. That's okay. Hopefully I'll just move in with Lindsay and she can help me take care of myself. Sigh. Triple sigh.

Had another wonderful dinner lastnght...softball game was fun :) I kept jumping when the ball would hit the fence right in front of us. It was quite scary. Today, I'm going down to Muskingum and then Kari and I will head down to St. Clairsville for our last fitting. I am still goin' strong with my 15 dollars. I'm hoping it'll last me awhile. Sarah and I are doing something tomorrow, so I'm pretty excited about that, and then tonight I might go over to the Jr. High Youth Group Bibe Study, but probably not cuz I'll be all tired and stuff from the Muskingum trip, and I'll probably end up being there awhile. Cuz I miss my girls! K. Byebye!

Started tanning for the wedding today...
Going to my sister's softball game in East Canton...
:) Trying to work out occasionally.
So then I won't look like a fat, white banana on May 24th :)

This is an email that I received from my friend, Meredith today. I was truly touched by it and I hope you are, too, and that you would consider praying for her and this ministry she is in. Meredith was a senior in high school when I stopped leading Young Life my sophomore year of college. It is amazing how much this young woman has grown since becoming a Christian. She is truly an inspiration to me. It's so wonderful, to see the ones we once "led" or "taught" go as far as we have prayed for them to go, and surpass all of our expectations. At one time, I may have been an inspiration to her, but wow, I think our roles have changed. I am sure I could learn more from her now than I could ever teach her. I think that's the goal of most leaders and disciplers and teachers... Meredith, I love you, and God is certainly writing your life story to be an awesome one. Your email made me so happy (in a concerned, motherly sort of way) and I will praying for you and thanking God for you every day.

Dear Friends,

Hello there! It has been quite a while since I last sent out a mass email, updating you about my life. It seems that these must almost always come with my apologies for losing touch with some of you. :( At the end of Fall Semester, I transferred from Liberty University [in VA] to Eastern University [in St. Davids, PA--20 mins west of Philadelphia]... Then, at the conclusion of the Spring semester I moved into a Christian community/outreach house called 'The Stephen's House', located right in the inner city of North Philadelphia. I am not exaggerating when I say it is in the 'inner city'. The house was intentionally placed in a low-income, pre-dominantly black neighborhood as a means of racial reconciliation as well as Christian outreach. The needs are many in our neighborhood and the drug problems are rampant. I am often in situations where there is no clear-cut moral answer on how to respond, and I have to figure things out for myself. My focus is continually brought back to Christ and the way He interacted with people. At the same time, I wonder at the reflection of Christ that shines from the eyes of the "least of these". I want so much to help these friends out of their situations---to help them get into drug rehab, homeless shelters, and other social programs that are instituted to help them. But many times people are not yet ready to be helped and they just need someone to hurt with them and understand them. I cannot tell you how many times I stop and wrestle with the question of how Jesus would interact with these people or how He would respond to these situations. Even then, the answer is rarely clear. I hope that somehow, I am of a positive influence to my friends in the city. I do know that they are helping me to more deeply understand what life is truly about... Love.

"No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and
His love has been brought to full expression through us" 1 John 4:12

Well, well, well...this is an awesome summer! It's so awesome that I haven't been online in over two days! I've been really busy decorating, cleaning, and organizing. My room looks amazing. I love it and I added a sort of beachy theme, so it's way cool, complete with some beachy-like fabric on my bedside stand and a big pillow that I sewed by hand. I did not paint my bedside stand, but I think it looks all right. I painte another stand for my TV and it's really cute. Today I found some INCREDIBLE deals...I got some little old magazine advertisements to hang on the wall from the antique store, potting soil, flower pots, a hanging plant, and these ever-so-adorable daisy plants that are "just to die for!" I also got applicatons for Kidron Town and Country and Putt-n-Stuff. I know Kidron Town and Country is hiring...but that's definitely a last resort. I stopped by Shisler's Cheese House and they're not hiring, either, although the lady said she would probably need help over Christmas. They have a CAT there! WOW! It'd be super great to work at Putt-n-Stuff. I don't know why I didn't think of applying there before...I could just kick myself now. They have a rock wall and bumper boats and go karts and batting cages and laser tag...how fun is that? Perfect for Mandi :) Hmm...except the go-karts. :o) Laser tag...I never score points in laser tag cuz I just hide! I ain't no James Bond. And well, I've never set foot in a batting cage. Heaven knows I hate balls enough...I don't need some blind machine throwing 'em every which way. Maybe I shouldn't work there, afterall.

Well, Thursday night at John's house was won-der-ful. Say it with me: "Won-der-ful!" I have three things to say: chicken, 3 cats, hot tub. Who could ask for more? Tomorrow I get to head back over there for a little graduation celebration. Tomorrow I also get to go to church! I'm desperately hoping to see at least 4 super great friends and make plans to hang out :) Without Winey here, it's going to be tough doing the "planning" thing on our own. Sigh.

Yesterday I got to spend QUALITY time with the lil' bro. And when I say quality, I mean quality. We played basketball for like an hour, walked Charlie down to the root beer stand, bought some ice cream (I had a Coke), and rode bikes. It was mar-vel-ous.

Well, I'm off to fill out some apps. Check ya later, folks. Grace n peace.

On Plans for the Summer

Well, I'm hoping that in the month of May, I will be able to miraculously come up with about 700 dollars so that I can pay for wedding stuff, buy a snake, take my sister out for her very belated birthday, buy a new swimsuit, buy some visits to the tanning bed (only because I'm wearing a yellow dress in the wedding), pay for gas....etc., etc.

I also hope to go through all my education classes stuff and sort things out into some type of file box. Yeah right. That'll never happen.

I want to refinish my bedside stand and my other bookshelf...and I'm thinking about doing the porchswing too, but that would take oil-based paint and oil-based paint is not cool. Maybe if I just varnish it it will be okay :)

I need a couple dozen little white picture frames. Well, I'll have to paint them white. But yes, that's another thing to do.

I want to buy some pretty plants for my bedroom.

I really want to buy a little pet snake to start out with before I get my boa or my python. Yay :) But that would require buying a tank and all those supplies and something weird for the snake to eat like crickets or something. Weird :-p

I'll be helping out with our Junior High Youth Group, I believe. Maybe a miracle will happen and they'll hook me up with an office job or something there. It would be nice.

But, I'm hoping that maybe I'll get the YMCA Day Camp job. Even though I'm kinda ticked at them.

I hope that I'll get to hang out with people like Emily and Laura and Jeff a lot this summer because I miss them.

I'll probably be traveling over to Louisville once in awhile too.

I hope also that I'll get to read a lot of books!

Wedding! May 24!

I think it's going to be a great summer...a God-focused one, I hope...so, I'm kind of excited about it.

God Defend New Zealand
(New Zealand's National Anthem)
Words: Thomas Bracken Music: John J. Woods
hear the tune here

Verse 1
God of nations! at Thy feet
In the bonds of love we meet,
Hear our voices, we entreat,
God defend our Free Land.
Guard Pacific's triple star,
From the shafts of strife and war,
Make her praises heard afar,
God defend New Zealand

A Description of the City Where I Will Most Likely Be:

Wellington is the capital city of New Zealand / Aotearoa. It is also the cultural, administrative and political center of the country. Two aspects of the city that will immediately strike any visitor are the sprawling harbour and the dramatic, hilly terrain. Everywhere you go, the sounds and smell of the ocean hang in the air, and green hills and valleys wrap you in a bear-hug embrace. At night, Wellington offers up a spectacular, shimmering cityscape that is unlike almost anywhere else in the world. Even after seeing it for the hundredth time, it takes one's breath away. Wellington is a vibrant, scenic, windy, cosmopolitan, diverse, eccentric, maddening and hilarious place. It has the some of the best museums, art galleries, restaurants, microbreweries, and coffee houses in the country. It is the storehouse for the nation's historic, cultural and artistic treasures. Being the first place European settlers arrived, it also boasts lots of historic streets and buildings.

There's a children's science museum too! Maybe we'll take a field trip :)

Lately,when I walk by myself, I repeatedly say in my head, "G'day mate!" just for some practice when I go dun unda (that's New Zealand accent for "down under"). This one professor says it's more that likely that I will visit Australia and Japan while I'm there. But you know what, there are so many beautiful places in New Zealand, I'm not sure I'll want to vist anywhere else!

I'm thinkin' a going away party would be nice come January in good ol' Orrville. Luggage, laptop, camera, bathing suit, beach towel? Teacher clothes, grading book, journal? 'At's roight, mate.

Let this goodbye be like the tall, withstanding
Lake side trees, remaining strong but soft,
Ancient and crooked and wise.
And let there be that last look
We see only once, only in goodbyes
That are uncertain of their tomorrows.
Past years have built us so beautifully,
Too beautiful to be lost.
When once I hoped it would happen quickly,
I can only think now
That it has come too soon.


I took a walk today, to this little secluded lake near our campus...
And I thought long and hard about the past two years, about what my friends have meant to me,
About things that I have learned. I've learned so much, so much about God...
How amazing, how powerful, how loving He is...how angry He can be...
I've learned that Satan can so easily take control when we are not filled with God's Holy Spirit.
I've learned that fellowship with God's people can just---wow, it can just move mountains. It can break down walls. It can be rough. It can involve a lot of tears. It can involve a lot of risk. It requires a lot of sacrifice, a lot of love. The rewards, however, are immeasurable.
So I thought I'd be happy to say goodbye to this school year, because it really has involved a lot of turmoil. There are people and situations I won't miss, but from these experiences I've learned that---
I can't blame other people for my own stupidity.
I keep forcing God to teach me the same lessons over and over and over.
I've learned that a little bit of sin is easy to fall into and hard to come out of.
I've learned that it doesn't matter what people think, as long as God knows your heart and your heart is right with God.
I've learned not to change my personality, my views, my appearance, my values, my morals, my beliefs...in order to suit someone else's desires or expectations.
I've learned that children can teach us more knowledge than most adults ever could.
I've learned that God really can use me.
I've learned that God will prepare me for challenges I will face. He'll even warn me if I am listening.
I wish I could say I've learned how to trust, but what I have learned is that we all need to be very, very careful of who we trust.
I've learned how to love through Christ,
And not through emotions.

And in two or three days, I will be saying goodbye to people I love more than I ever thought possible. And yes, I will be sad. However, the bonds that bind us are stronger than miles. We have shared tears, laughter, heartbreak, friendships, prayers, worship, songs, late nights, loooong conversations, pizzas, cookies, popcorn and pies! We have shared our hearts, our love, our lives. And guess what? I love you!

"Catch the wind, taste the rain, and touch all of your tomorrows."

Thank you, thank you...for all the positive reinforcement. However, I know there are at least 20 other people that read this thing that have never responded. I am disappointed in you! But I, not being a forceful person, will forgive you. ;-)

Hmm...studying is going extremely well, thanks to the help of my roommate who is like, a supernatural angelic like creature. I'm starting to wonder if you're real, Lindsay. Are you real?

I've decided that I can pretty much write whatever I want for the take-home section of my 409 final. I think that based on previous grades, the professor will give me an A. I really doubt that most professors read everything in these final papers because they don't even have to give them back to us. If I were a professor and it was the end of the year, and I came across Amanda L. Harrington's paper, I'd put a nice big A on it because "she's a nice girl." Hmm. Yeah, I think I might risk it. I just can't do this "working hard" thing right now. I even have a list right here about all my reasons why I need to study. Number 5 is "I need to improve my work ethic." This is true. There are some psycho people at this school that work full time and go to class and stuff and I'm just like, hmm...don't think so. I just can't take all that stress. Afterall, when would I make time to write in my online diary?

Guess what? I won something! Yeah, can you believe it? Now I've won, in my entire life, these things:

1. 50 dollars on a lottery ticket when I was 10
2. Bobby Brown single tape at the 5th and 6th grade dance "I Gotta Get Away"
3. Books Etc. basket at the Basket Bingo with my aunts :) Yay for books!
4. Ten Shekel Shirt CD...go me!

I'll say this before I really DO boycott all of you...

Chrystal, I LOVE YOU and you are SO awesome! You know what I'm talkin' bout. (wink, wink) She knows the way to Miss Mandi Lu's heart :)

Veronica Louise>>>>>>>You are a Godsend. Thank you so much.

I am boycotting this website until someone RESPONDS to me!!!!!!!!

So there!

;-)

Oh yes, peace and God bless.

Until I stop boycotting, here's a nice little Chinese proverb for ya.

"BE NOT AFRAID OF GROWING SLOWLY; BE AFRAID ONLY OF STANDING STILL."

I know ya'll like how I'm avoiding studying :) Is this not fun? It's fun. You know it.

Ooops someone just walked by our house and I looked out the blinds and I think she saw me! And it was someone I do not know! Ooooh that's weird. I hate it when that happens.

Grilled Cheese Sandwich

I thought I smelled a grilled cheese sandwich
Downstairs just now
But when I went down,
I saw it was cow
(Actually it was chicken).
So call me a fool,
But it smelled like grilled cheese
Which caused me to drool
And now I shall crave
Grilled cheese all day.

Aww, is it Saturday already? That means...that means, (sigh) I have to start studying (sigh). However, college is just like, totally awesome. I mean, if I wanna slack one day, I can. If I wanna skip, I can. If I wanna stay up all night long, I can. In college, it's pretty much like you can do whatever the heck ya want. I like that. I think I'll miss it when I get a real job. Maybe I WILL go to grad school. I could stay in college an extra year and pick up another major. Hmm...probably not. I think I'm just about ready to leave. Yeah, I'm definitely getting there. Especially by the time January comes around and I'll be leaving for....Newwwwwww Zeeeeeealand! haHAAA I am soooo excited. Nothing better screw it up :-p I hope I don't chicken out or anything. I'm a loser like that sometimes :) Aw, it's going to be "rufus" man ("rufus" is something the guy from New Zealand always says on Rocket Power, the best cartoon that's on these days). Okay. Byebye.

Some of the elementary school kids were outside running today, around in circles like we used to for the mile, and their gym teacher, who is the coolest, funnest gym teacher ever, was running with them with a fishing hat on his head, just laughing and running with the kids. Very cool.

I almost told a kid to stop being a smart ass today, but luckily I caught myself and said "Smart Alec."

Some of these kids think I'm evil! I wish they weren't so stinkin bad so I didn't have to yell at them all the time! It's like my week in Pines revisited.

My mom and aunt Cathy came to get me at school today and we went to Theo' s and the antique store. I bought two scarves for my head...one pink and one white. Very cool :)

The chicken chimichanga at Theo's is wayyy delish!

This stupid dog is going to be killed in a matter of seconds if he doesn't stop CHEWING ON THINGS!!!! He keeps getting things off the floor, the counter, the table...when does it end? It's like having a furry quadriped two-year old.

I am home! Very cool :)

The stupid hair place ran out of bleach! Not cool! How can a hair place run out of bleach? They might as well just run out of scissors.

The library doesn't have the book I wanted. Sigh. But Jeff and I are going to hang out tonight. Very cool :)

I'm visiting Mt. Union tomorrow, and that is also very cool. :)

When I was little, I thought I could have a pony because we had a shed in our backyard and a little bit of grass.

When I was little, I thought that I could build a tree house in the crabapple tree. I nailed a board to a branch and tied it there with some rope to help keep it secure. I sat up there one day and that was about it.

When I was little, I thought the neighbor boy and I would get married even though he chased my cat with a stick.

When I was little, I would pretend I brushed my teeth but actually faked it.

When I was little, I cried because my friend wanted to play nursing home and I didn't. I didn't want to play because I saw nursing homes as places where people die and she saw nursing homes as places where she'd never been but looked nice and like a "fun" place to work.

And not much has changed since then.

Well, today was really, reeeeally good until about 11:00 when I had to start studying for this one stupid class. The professor decided to have a huge test and a portfolio due on Wednesday, which is like five days away from our final exam and three days away from exam week. What a bunch of crap. I have so much to do, and it's not that I think it won't get done, because it will, but I really feel like I'm just wasting so much of my life sitting here at my stupid, stupid desk doing stuff that I'm not even going to remember or use in my entire life and it is so, so nice outside! It just makes me really bitter, and I'm trying so hard to be in a good mood, like I was this morning, but I can't find it :-(

I had a meeting about New Zealand today! I am so excited! :) If you're bored enough, go here: http://www.vnz.co.nz/photos/

Hi! The trip to Columbus was grrrreat! We ended up going to the Turkish restaurant, which is called "Cafe Istanbul." I highly recommend it! I got the regular shish kabob, which is lamb. I've never had lamb, but I liked it a lot. And it wasn't on a stick. That was kind of disappointing. John got a chicken kabob, and I must say, it was better than mine. However, if you haven't ever tried lamb, you definitely should. The bread was really good, too. The service was excellent. They were sooo nice! And I think they really were all Turkish. At least they were definitely something other than American, but it coulda been Indian for all I know. I really don't know how to tell what nationality a person is. The people at the table behind us were all speaking some other language that definitely was not french. That's the only language I can tell from English, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't Spanish or German or Italian, either. I wonder if it was Turkish. I don't think that's a language. We also went to Vineyard, which is a church...a huge church...in Columbus, to their college service on Sunday nights. Way awesome, it was. I highly recommend that, too. I also recommend the massage chair at Sharper Image, which is a store at Easton. And I don't recommend the teriyaki chicken sandwich at Subway, because although it is good, it's NOT as good as the spicy italian! So there!

I'm sad right now because I ate a cookie and now I feel sick. I hate my stomach. I can't EAT ANYTHING!!!! Grrr!

Hi! I'm in the Gateway store right now at Easton and we are looking at laptop computers. So Mom, for future reference, I would like the 200 Series Notebook. It costs a little over 2000 dollars :) hehehehehe Okay, bye!

Darkness

Ransomed from darkness, not with the
Silver of my ancestors, tarnished and worn, or
Gold so lovely thrown to the ground, but
Something imperishable, something pure and holy enough to
Purify me for no cost, for nothing at all.
Trusting in this grace should be so simple.
Raised from a cold, sealed grave, He showed us all his
Glory and holiness. He chose to spend His life with us,
To bear the nails for us, to hang on a tree for us,
To experience separation from His Father for us,
So we could have a part of Him in our hearts
Eternally.
Faith should abound!
Hope should flourish and
Love should overflow!
But it doesn't.
Because we forget so often, too much.
We were called into His marvelous light!
Why do we choose darkness?

Dude, God is so awesome! What is wrong with us?


Okay, so I am going to Columbus today, yay! I feel like Esther, because I've gone through so many preparations. We had a big fingernail painting/manicure party lastnight. So fun :) And the other day I did the same thing to my feet. I've had my clothes picked out since Monday!

Wow! This weekend is super great! I am NOT thinking about all the stuff I have to do, either. I'm really not. The most stressful thing in my life right now is the fact that my printer is out of ink and I am out of printer paper as well. This happens during EVERY exam week for me, so I'm not surprised. It's so stupid. And my color ink that I bought for 30 dollars last month is not even working. How schisty is that? Anyway, I'm not going to think about that now, because we are going to Muskiepalooza...how exciting! Too bad I won't be able to do the obstacle course and jousting again due to my rib being out of place for so long...and that obstacle course is the bomb, I tell ya.

We just got back from making gnoccis at Kendra's house for her wedding. It was pretty cool and I just love her family. I want to adopt her aunt Lisa as my cousin or something cuz she is way cute and cool and she likes cats a lot and she's where I got MY kitty, Mozie from! Yay!

Jeff: Your response to me from your online diary is very, very sad. I usually don't have problems with "letting people go" but I just don't think "letting go" of you and Winey will be too terribly easy. I really did think that we'd be in our 40's still going to the mall and the art museum and Chicago and CW's together. Hey, it could happen. I'd drive from Utah or Colorado or Africa just to see you two... Well, maybe fly from Africa... Our kids could be best friends. Hahaha my kids are going to be little snobs and Winey's will be the kind to sit and play video games or something and yours, well yours will be little hyperactive velociraptor children. Whatever the case, all of our kids are sure to be very creative.

Tomorrow is the big day in Columbus and I'm pretty excited about that. I think we're going to go to a Turkish restaurant or a Japanese restaurant, but I can't decide, so please cast your votes in the comments section!!!

Well, I was just about to go to bed lastnight at midnight and thought I'd stop downstairs to check up on my girls, Kendra and Lindsay, to chat and stuff. Sure 'nuff, we did stay up until 3:00 involved in some serious girl talk (a.k.a. gossiping and talking about guys). We went to Dairy Mart and got chocolate. We got locked out of the house and all three of us climbed in through the window. I ate a bag of Reese's pieces and a Twix peanut butter candy bar around 1 am and some Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies later. I slept extremely well, and while I don't feel rested, I sure do feel great :) Thanks, girls, I love ya!

THIS is what Jeff was talking about:

Some of the best times were spent with Jeff and Winey. They came to her school to visit her. They went to the mall and the art museum together. They talked about music she had never heard and forced her to listen to songs like, “Don’t Judge a Man By the Hair on His Butt.” It was those things she hated that made her love them like she did. They would wear their skateboarder/punk clothes (the kind she always wanted to wear, minus the pink platinum leather bag) and talk to her about Jesus and how she needed a guy better than the one she was dating, no matter who he was.

I think the comments section of my online diary is a whole lot more entertaining than the diary part, which is a little discouraging. :) Maybe I'm just bitter that I didn't get into the First Circle this year, which is Muskingum College's ever-so-famous literary magazine. I don't understand how I can get two poems in my freshman year but none my sophomore or junior years. I wonder if I'm losing my touch. A lot of the poetry in there is quite boring and very unoriginal, but oh well. Nathaniel Hawthorne couldn't get anything published either and he only had like one popular book, and look, everyone knows Nathaniel Hawthorne, and then there's people like Washington Irving who write the most boring things in the world and they get published somehow and their stuff becomes classic, like Rip Van Winkle and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow--two stories that really aren't all they're cracked up to be.

So no luck in the job search for me, but I'm praying God works his miracles and decides to be nice and put me somewhere that doesn't make me cry every day AND pays well :) Hahaha....riiiight. Choices are limited in the child care field. *Sigh*

Here's an excerpt from my novel. I figure I might as well share with you all since no one else will ever read it :) But I'm warning you...don't be offended!

Showers could be scary. Every time, Marie would somehow manage to get shampoo in her eyes. She decided it was because she was so short that the water, instead of spraying down on her head, would spray over her head, forcing soapy water to stream into her eyes. This is the reason Marie always had a towel over the shower door. Ten minutes of every shower consisted of Marie rubbing her eyes into her towel, tears streaming down her face. It did not help that Marie used a special mint tea-tree shampoo. It was like putting Listerine on her eyeballs.
Showers were a very special part of the day. Alone time, surrounded by whiteness. Ritualistic purification.
Most people sing in the shower. Marie could not sing, but she sang in her head and even mouthed or whispered the words, just like she did to the radio. Silence was a gift, she thought. Sometimes, it was nice to listen to a song and not hear other people sing along. Sometimes it was nice not to have one of her friends screw up a perfectly good song with their obnoxious voices, trying to prove how many songs they knew or how well they could sing. Marie would purposely play punk music that none of her girl friends liked for this very reason. Just so they would shut up.

Yeah, so on Sunday, you woulda thought I was Tammy Faye Baker cuz I was sayin' "PRAISE THE LORD!" repeatedly after finding my clothes! What a freakin' answer to prayer, I tell ya. God is way awesome. :) Through this experience he taught me several things, such as I am way too flipped out about clothes AND you CAN make it through a couple months with only one pair of jeans! Yes, it can be done!!!!

Hello! Amanda is back in the game, ready to conquer the world! This weekend God certainly used to rejuvinate me...the zoo and the chiropractor's, afterall, are two of the most "rejuvinating" places on earth, and lots of alone time with God is definitely the best of the three. Is "juvinate" a word? Or it always just RE-juvinate? I'll have to research this before I teach any students about prefixes. Anyway, I have no idea how I will get all my homework done but...no worries, no worries.

Advice for the day: Don't drink alcohol when you're depressed! :)

Attention all Muskies: I will not be returning to school today. I repeat: I WILL NOT be returning to school today, the 20th of April, due to severe back injury! Okay, not really severe, but it hurts, and I need to get it fixed before exams...you know that is. So pray for me and I'll see ya later on Monday!

Love ya'll and have a great Easter!!!

The zoo was great! We went through it twice, actually, rainforest and all. It's very interesting getting to know someone, you know, learning all their quirks and character traits, what bothers them, what makes them happy and such. Fun stuff!

~ peace be with you all and goodnight ~

I'm going to the zoo tomorrow! I cleaned out the car, my room, and went on a three mile walk with the dog :) I like sloppy joes a lot, too.

Well, well, well, hello there everybody. I am now at home, sitting down, praise God. I worked from 7 am this morning until 6 this evening with the preschoolers and school-agers and lemme tell ya, preschoolers have go to be some of the most annoying little things in the world. Not that I don't love them and think they're absolutely delightful, but after a four-year-old has been in school for more than five hours, they get a little..."restless." Synonyms for this "restlessness" may include: whiny, tattle-tailing, mean, ornery, petty, and bratty. Anyway, their conversations were interesting...

Today, the Barbies were giving birth. And guess what? News just in: Babies can talk when they are first born. Here are some of the things they say, according to 4 and 5 year olds:

"Mommy, I have blood all over me!"
"Mommy, get this stuff outta my mouth!"

Hmmm...I don't know.

One of the most exciting things about coming home is checking my email on my AOL account. It is always full and jam-packed with fun. There's always at least two on how to enlarge my penis. I think they know my interests somehow as well (but not my sex, obviously) because I always get emails from Pastors about webcams, penis enlargements, and sex toys. They seem to think that if I get an email from a Pastor, that I'll ignore the subject heading and open the email. Intelligence. Such intelligence.

Bad News: Looks like the Muslims will prevent me from going to Africa next Spring. :-(

Good News: Looks like I might go to New Zealand instead! :-)

Good News: Another girl from Muskingum is going there as well, which will make it a lot easier. :-)

Strange News: I might actually not be a student at Muskingum next Spring because I may "transfer" to the University of Minnesota...but I'll be in New Zealand, not Minnesota, and their tuition is only 3,000 dollars. Cool deal, huh? ???

Good News: I'm getting tan!

Good News: I'll be DONE with college next March! Yay for Mandi Lu!

Hi :) It is another wonderful, happy, happy day. I spent two hours in the kindergarten, said my goodbyes, and then sat outside and did nothing in the sun :) It was quite enjoyable and TOMORROW I plan on starting my workout plan again. Now, I realize I've been saying this since last week but tomorrow I'm really going to do it! Or not... We'll see if I find an excuse. I have to work on a group presentation at 9:30 tonight. Won't that be fun? I am really bad at group things. I'd be happy if all my group members said "You can do it yourself, Amanda." Besides, at 9:30 at night, I know I won't be much of a leader, and when I'm not a leader, I take the role of "distractor." Mwahahahaha!

So I have class tonight from 5:30-8:30 but I also have a employee meeting at 5:30 and a required speaker at 7. How is that going to work? Good question! I'll also miss Susan's cycle play. And Bible study is from 8:30 to 9:30.... Why, may I ask, do things pile up that way? The answer: procrastination, disorganized professors, disorganized directors, and irresponsible college students.

Okay, so here are the items of clothing that have vanished from my closet/dresser drawers:

1. Abercrombie jeans
2. Calvin Klein jeans
3. Yellow button up shirt
4. Long sleeve AE pink top
5. Camp Wanake sweatshirt

If you can find these items, I promise you I'll give a reward. These are some of my favorite clothes! GRRR!


"The result of faulty human perception frequently leads to the establishment of goals that are off target and unproductive in the things that truly matter for eternity.


In sharp contrast, the wisdom given by the Holy Spirit yields clarity and precision. It leads to an expansion of ability, a righteous perspective, and the establishment of goals that are focused and productive, and that are centered on the most important things of eternal benefit."


-Charles Stanley from the book "Walking Wisely"

I'm still pretty excited about my awesome day yesterday because I know things are going to start turning around here. I've been so lazy with things...I was just so absorbed in things having to do with ME that I was forgetting to work a little harder on my friendships...but relationships (with the opposite sex, you know) take a lot of time and a lot of energy and a lot of work and they also tend to take up a lot of thought. So now that HE is out of the way I can get back to work and eventually, obviously, because not all relationships are horrible and not ALL boys are the spawn of Satan, I'll meet a nice guy and that will be wonderful and it won't be like that at all and I'll still give as much to God as I do when I'm single and I know this is a very long and confusing sentence in which I said things that are crazy and will most likely receive strange comments that condemn me but oh well (I was kidding about spawn of Satan). So yes, I plan on breaking down some walls that have been built up in the past year or so and get over my petty little fears of talking about things and talking to certain people.

I just feel so excited. I don't know what for or why.

Guess what? I haven't eaten french fries in over a week!!!!! Is that awesome or what? I think I'll go for another week without them. I'll just make up for their loss with more cookies :-D

Oh and please don't respond to this entry with things that say how I'll meet some great guy and then it'll mention something about "time" and "knowing" and "love" and all that because I am REALLY sick of hearing that stuff. It's really not helpful and really is very unoriginal so please withhold those comments. Comments like that make me want to take off the comments option. If I wanted to hear stuff like that, I would just read some Lord Tennyson. And this entry isn't even about stuff like that, it's about turning things around. Okay that was long. Heeheehee :) Sorry!

Okay, I'm better now!!! Sometimes I tend to focus a little too much on life and forget to focus on God. Life? Pshhh. Today is an awesome day...it's beautiful, for one thing, and I even got to play football with my girls Veronica, Kari, and Lindsay. Go us! I could have done that all day but now I have another crappy academic thing to do (they should take us outside for some exercise cuz I'm thinking a lot of these smart people don't get much of it) and then I gotta write a paper and clean the floors and do laundry and blah blah blah. I can't wait till Easter. I might even go to the zoo this weekend, which is definitely one of my favorite places. :) Church was so awesome, I love it when they say things you've heard but you hear it a different way and think "Wow, I never thought of it that way!" Yay!

I think I have a little disorder known as ADHD. I can't do my school work at all. I just can't do it. My mom's going to call me and ask me if "I'm okay" after I write this entry, and I AM OKAY but I just HATE doing my work! I love the field experience and making the little games I've been making for my reading diagnostic kit, but I HATE studying and writing papers lately. It's just so stupid. Really, I'm not learning anything in these classes and I'm dead serious about that. I got a 60 percent on a paper and I have NO desire to hand it in again, which the professor has given me the option of doing, and I got an 80 on a test in a class that SHOULD be an easy A, according to me. Because you know what? Excuse me, but I am going to be a DAMN GOOD TEACHER and I SHOULD have all A's in ALL my education classes but our professors give us CRAP tests, they have no organization, they do NOT EVER give clear directions and then they wonder why all the students get 60 percents on papers! Education is known as an easy major, and it IS but our professors are idiots!!! And THEN I go to these stupid awards assemblies that make me feel stupid, not smart, where most the REALLY smart people are the ones that stay in their rooms and study 90% of the time, so what about those of us who have three-point-sixes but do lots of other things? Okay, okay, so I'm not president of student council and well, I'm not really anything important, but I DO do a lot, it's just not stuff that has titles and all that crap. So I'm sitting there during this academic awards thing feeling stupid because I have a 3.6 cumulative GPA. Now I'm sorry, but a 3.6 IS actually pretty good, I think, and I shouldn't feel stupid! But for some reason I do and I shouldn't want recognition, and I don't.......................but some money suuuure would be nice. :) I feel so incredibly poor right now I could cry. And I bought a hat yesterday. Well, it was five dollars, and you know, my mother always said that if you think about it after you walk away and can't get it out of your head, you should buy it. So I did.

So good things that have happened lately? Oh yes, there are so many!

1. Sharon's Birthday...awesome. I love Sharon so much I could cry. I'm serious, she lights up every room. I made her Sharon and Amanda puppets with moveable arms and legs. It's really cute. I also made her a "Today I Feel..." spinner thing. We ate at Olive Garden. I ate so much.
2. Today I got to be a part of Kendra and Richard's new lives together :) How beautiful!
3. Precious is way cool.
4. Chelsea, my darling 3rd grader who really DOES have ADHD who finally passed her 2's times tables. Shwew. I cried. Well, I teared up...a lot. It was so emotional. I don't know but I really, really was SO freakin happy for that girl.
5. For awhile, I thought my trip to Africa might not be possible...but I think it's going to work, and if God wants it, it will, so I'm not so worried :)
6. Kari took me to dinner at Bob Evans and I had biscuits and gravy. Way to go, Kari!!!! I love you!
7. The 16 little hugs I get every time I leave the kindergartners. :-)
8. God is way awesome, and I'm so glad that I can go to everyday at any time of day. Isn't that cool? Our Heavenly Father, always there to listen to us. :) I really hope he fills me with something soon because I'm feeling kinda empty right now. Grrr.

Today and Tomorrow

I woke this morning and found
Plastic flowers, fallen trees,
Sundays with the world
And cities crashing into me.
It used to be perfect, the ideal,
The hopeful hopes and dreamful
Dreams and now
It's just a world
That is small and full of
Complex people with
3,127 kinds of laundry detergent.

Poem for my True Love

The stars are shining for you
And just like me I'm sure that they adore you.
Whatever you do,
Don't put the blame on you.
Cuz God must of spent
A little more time on you.
Late at night when all the world
Is sleeping I stay up and think of you.
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life.
I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea.
You drive me crazy
I just can't sleep.
I wanna love you forever.
By the way, this is Austin,
And I still love you.
Cowboy, take me away!

Sammy Squirrel and His Ultimate Fate
based on a true story
________________________________________

Sammy was a happy squirrel, as most squirrels are, and spent his days munching on nuts and cherries, scurrying up trees and telephone poles, chitter-chattering with his buddies, and living a joyful life on the banks of the lake at Muskingum College. Tuesday was a normal day, as most days are on the banks of the lake at Muskingum College, and Sammy was searching for his favorite type of acorn--crunchy in the middle, crunchy on the outside. He had searched through the grass, the trees, almost everywhere! Then he saw it...the perfect acorn! It was sitting on the "big thing" that the big ugly animals walked across everyday. The "big thing" reached waaaaay across the lake at Muskingum College and it was no place for a squirrel to be. But the perfect acorn was sitting right in the middle of that "big thing" and Sammy was determined to get it!

"I'll scamper over there real fast, grab it, and run back to safety!" Sammy said to himself.

Little did he know, Sammy would acquire depression and have a severe anxiety attack all in a matter of seconds.

Sammy reached the acorn. Oh, it was so beautiful! "Just one bite!" Sammy thought, and he started munching. It was so delicious, he couldn't stop! Two big ugly animals were approaching him, but he was unaware. The acorn was so scrumptious, Sammy couldn't see or hear a thing! Two more big ugly animals were approaching him from the other side! Sammy was trapped! He looked up, he looked to one side, then the other. To one side again, then the other. His heart raced. He stood amazingly still. Could they hear his heart pounding. "Oh God, I'm too young to die! I haven't told Suzie Squirrel I love her yet! I wanted to have 20 sons and 30 daughters! Why is this happening to me? Why me? Why now?! Someone help!" He waited for a miracle as his tiny chest heaved and his little heart thump, thump, thumped.

But the big ugly animals did not budge. And Sammy knew it was time. It didn't matter anymore. Life just was not worth living. These big ugly animals were taking over the world! His heart was going to explode! So he jumped.

And little Sammy squirrel began sinking to his death in the lake of Muskingum College because the big ugly animals had left him no choice.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Okay, moving RIGHT along then....

Today was so awesome. I helped a four-year-old learn how to ride a bike, helped two introverted four-year-olds become friends, and got attacked in the boob by a velociraptor. So was my day, 7 am to 4 pm with kids, kids, kids. I really like it. I'm thankful for that because I don't have any money to pay for any more school. Speaking of which, I'm not sure I have money for Africa....but this girl in my ed. classes is so gung-ho about ME going that I think she would be happy to just raise money for me all by herself! Okay, not really, and I wouldn't accept it, but she's pushing me to go, which is way awesome. Thanks Sarah :)

By the way, the Rocket Power kids' toothbrush is working wonders. I haven't injured myself with my toothbrush since Spring Break. But I DID injure myself on that blow-up obstacle course. I have a REALLY disgusting scab on my elbow and it hurts like the dickens. Some kid grabbed my elbow today and I thought I was going to pass out. And this morning when I was washing my hair, it felt as though all the tendons in my elbow were tearing. And my back hurts so much, too. I need Dr. Bardall! Note to self: Marry a chiropractor, make friends with an accountant... Okay, so since I'm in complain mode, let me just say that I hate my hair. I look like a freakin orphan Annie. For all you people with straight hair that say, "I wish my hair was curly!" SHUTUP!!!!!!!

hehehehhe :)

Here's a quote I found lastnight that I thought was kind of a good point:

"Betrayal can take as little as a second.
Finding forgiveness can take a lifetime."

We need to think a little more about how we act, cuz being unforgiven is just horrible and holding back forgiveness is, too. Thank goodness God isn't like us, huh? He doesn't betray, and he ALWAYS forgives. Yay!!!

BTW: I did NOT mean that to be preachy so please withhold your "Step down from your pedestal" comments.

Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! That's all I have to say! Grrrrrrr!

My

heart

is

broken

this

is

so

much

worse

than

breaking

up!

I am currently in mourning. No talking to me no touching get away!

Man, I'm kind of tired of writing in this thing.

Kansas is SO going to win it all!!! Are you kidding me, Marquette? Go back to your playhouse!

Today was and will continue to be a very fabulous day! Not only did I write a very catchy song, but I wore my new shirt, my favorite capri pants, my hair curled nicely, and I got to eat lunch! AND (drumroll, please) I got my speech credits transferred! This speech credit transfer situation has been a big deal and today all it took was five minutes with Dr. Adams, she wrote something on a paper and wam, bam, stamp! My credits were transferred, no questions asked! How easy was that? Do you KNOW what it would be like to take speech AGAIN as a SENIOR with 20 credits?! That would be horrible. Danny is visiting this weekend from OSU and I am SO excited about that and tomorrow we're going on a DATE! Go Amanda! He's totally one of the coolest people I know and definitely one of the best people to talk to about anything. The nice thing is that he can tell me to shutup and I can tell him to shutup and no one gets offended. I guess it's that way with most of my guy friends. I'm scared of girls :-p

Oh! And Precious and I talked for like an hour lastnight after Campus Crusade. She is so AWESOME! I love that girl! And guess what? She can't go home for the summer because she doesn't have the money. Oh yes, she's from Nigeria. Is that cool or what? I always ask her stupid questions like, "Do they have pretzels in Nigeria?" She thinks I'm crazy. Anyway, the guys are totally different in Nigeria, she says, because they treat their women like queens. I need to go there. American guys treat women like objects...even the ones who are nice have this embedded culture in their veins that possesses them and overtakes their minds, saying "Be evil, be evil, be evil!" This is probably due to several aspects of American culture, including women who act like their nothing but objects and of course, the media. And because it's in the water or something. Who knows. At least we have yummy peanut butter because Nigeria doesn't have that. And you know what? I think I'd rather have yummy peanut butter than a gruveling guy anyway.

In other news, I had a dream that a bear was chasing me. It was really terrible. I have dreams like that every now and then that something is chasing me and I HATE it because it's like I just can't escape. Wherever I go, it's there. In my dream the bear was coming at me in a lake and I grabbed its mouth and held it shut. Too bad--I think that's what you're supposed to do with an alligator, not a bear. Luckily I woke up before it got me.

Saddam Hussein is so ugly. It looks like the fat on his forehead is going to roll down over his big ol' eyebrows and completely cover his eyes! I think that if he isn't already dead, he will be soon because he suffering from some sort of botulism.

Well it was a very productive day! I completed my schedule and discovered that, wow, I am a psychology minor! Who knew? And I talked to one of my past English professors and he made me feel really good about myself. I have two English classes next semester and one is with our new professor, which is so exciting but also a little scary :) English people tend to be a little scary and on the weird side, you know. Just take a look at all the weirdo English majors! Hahaha, just kidding! I'd love to be an English major....if I really had faith in myself...and could get motivated more easily....and didn't like teaching so much....and if I needed to take classes in order to just be the most awesome writer EVER! Okay, I'm done. Anyway, I hope that I'll just get to write children's books and notes home to the parents and IEP's you know...the fun stuff! I also got a care package in the mail and a letter from my Aunt Vicky! These thoughtful people are so....HALL-MARK-ish as Jeff would say. Good job, kids! When I'm rich, I'm gonna buy you a bunch of note cards from one of my top ten favorite stores...the one and only place to buy cards...Hallmark! Don't talk to Veronica because she is a traitor!!!!

I used to want to write cards for Hallmark. But all I could come up with "I hope your birthday is as awesome as you are!" Or something like that. I always write horribly long notes in my cards and that is why I buy blank ones. I don't like the long cards they make in stores because I never read them anyway and remember--NEVER, EVER under ANY circumstances buy a boyfriend or girlfriend a "Just Between You and Me" card from Hallmark! If you receive one, you MUST break off the relationship ASAP. And you know, if anyone even ever thinks about buying me one of those things, he better think about it long and hard because if he loves me THAT much he can write his own stinkin' card and save about 4 bucks.

Yes I'm done now. Goodnight!

I'm feeling especially child-centered today, so I wrote a poem about how I feel about my experiences today with kids. Here goes!
It rhymes and I hate rhymes and it's cheesy but that's what teachers do, isn't it?! Oh well. Read on.


When they greet you by name as you walk in the door,
When they climb in your lap as you sit on the floor,
When they smile proudly and show you their masterpiece,
When they peek through the holes of their American cheese,
When they fall asleep soundly in your arms,
When they cower into your sleeve to keep them from harm,
When they cry puddles of tears upon your shoulder,
When they try so hard to pretend to be older,
When they run, skip, and jump everywhere they go,
When they disobey no matter how many times you say no,
When they laugh during stories because of that silly voice,
When they prefer holding your hand if they are given a choice,
When they color pictures just for you,
When they accomplish something you thought they’d never do,
When they reach the top and look towards the bottom,
When they keep on climbing because they know you’ve get ‘em,
When they cheer, “I did it myself!”
When they move on and you place their old photos upon your shelf,
When you look and see how much they grew
When you look and see how much they love you,
When you look and see how far they’ve come,
When you look and see how far they’ll go,
It’s then you’ll see there’s much more to this show,
The things they’ve taught you, the things you now know—
There are more important things in life than big adult worries and fears,
There’s more than just dreams and careers.
There are hearts, there are smiles, there are things to be done.
There are children to teach and battles to be won.
There are mountains to climb and chances to fall.
So many things for us to be re-taught and children can teach them all.

Today I am going to write about something that often goes unwritten because we are ashamed to speak of it. Humans, UNITE! We must come out of our shells and discuss that which keeps us moving, that which keeps us smelling, that which keeps us healthy! An amazing process, an amazing product, that every human produces at some point or another! It is a part of us, though not for long, it is important! It's fascinating! It comes in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors! Yes folks, it's one of my favorite topics! It's poop!

This year I have embarked on a new journey for my digestive system, and that is drinking two glasses of juice every day. Wow! It has been so thrilling and wonderful. The ease! Poop should never be painful! It should always be a wonderful, good-feeling experience. And it is, kids, ohhhh, it is...

So enjoy this fascinating product! Don't be afraid to take a peek before you flush and show all your friends when it reaches from one end of the toilet to the other! Be proud, not ashamed! Say "POOP" with no reservation! Say it backwards: POOP! It's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!!!

Sorry, two entries in one day. This entry is dedicated to the coolest guy I know, my favorite Jeff. Here's what he wrote in his online thingy the other day. Hope he doesn't mind if I copy and paste it here :) It's just too sweet.

" I want my wife to tell me to shut up when I whine when I am sick. Then when I get up for work she has set cough drops by my keys. Maybe a little note that says she is thinking of me. I want to be totally in adoration to her. I want her to be my hero."
-Jeff B.

Well, aren't my posts wonderful at night right before I go to bed? Apologies for the last psycho entry.

As you know, if you are a faithful reader of my little page here, my mom, brother, and sister visited this weekend. My sister was in rare form at lunch yesterday. Here's a conversation that went something like this:

Sara tucks a napkin into her shirt like a bib.
Sara: "Look! I'm George Washington, like from the 1980's!!! Is that when you were born, Mom?"
Mom: Laughing, "No, that's when Amanda was born."
Sara: "Oh, the 1970's then!" Holds fingers in awkward position as some kind of "sign" and shouts, "Groovy, dude!"
Mom: Now laughing hysterically, says, "I don't think George Washington talked like that."
Sara: "Gnarly, man!" (Makes the "Hang Loose" gesture with hand).


Later in the conversation:
Sara: "I can see Mom just chasing a cow with a knife and salt."
Amanda: "What??"
Sara: "So she can have a steak!"

I just watched the movie, Maid in Manhatten. It was good, and even made me cry :) I always cry at fairy tales, including Disney movies. But the crying at fairy tale phase did not begin until this past year or so. I think that after realizing that chances are slim to none that anything like a fairy tale will happen to me, that guys suck and never actually say things like they do in fairy tales, that no one could ever fall in love like that with ME, they never make any sort of effort anyway, and that even the guys who ARE like that creep me out, fairy tales make me sad. Is the fairy tale too much to hope for?

Well, maybe so, maybe not, but whatever the answer, the fairy tale shouldn't be too much to hope for. Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe I need to stop falling for complete idiots/jerks. But then again, maybe, someday, I will have the fairy tale. If I do ever have it, it'll most likely be a little yellow house in the woods instead of a big castle, or a pink house with several lawn ornaments and a cat instead of a husband, but it will be my fairy tale, and I will be happy ;-)

But until that day, I'm going to be happy anyway, because not only is God totally awesome, but I do already live with some of the best people ever, and I'm almost constantly surrounded by people who love me a whole lot more than any loser Muskie boy ever could. So here's to you, Muskingum! Thanks for NOT providing me with the fairy tale romance, and instead giving me awesome friends instead. He couldn't have planned it any better :)

Hello, Hello, Hello!!! It's a beautiful morning here in NC, Ohio. Yesterday was a way cool day, although I have gotten very little work done this weekend. Not only did I eat at my favorite restaurant and get my two favorite things (french fries and a steak sandwich...with iced tea) TWICE this week (and we're going again tonight), but KANSAS WON (I almost threw up I was so nervous), I danced my bootie off at the 5 dollar prom with the best date EVER, Sharon Rebecca, and I heard Sharon sing like an angel at the music thingy. What a day! I also slept in till 11. Woohoo! Now my mom, brother, and sister are here to spend the night! They're cute :)

More tomorrow!

This entry is dedicated to Kari, one of my very bestest friends, I love you, girl.

Well, I slept till 11 and since then I've done some work but mostly I've spent way too much time getting ready for some international education honorary inductions. I still need to do makeup. I'm wearing my new teacher outfit--my very first real teacher outfit purchase at a real teacher store. I love it. Total money I'll be spending on honoraries throughout my college career: 180 dollars. Daggone. Just think if I were in a sorority. Luckily, my friends don't require payment :)

Tony L.: You're awesome :) You owe Kari and I at least 80 bucks for the show lastnight.

Next, I'll be going to the honorary thing, then watching the Kansas vs. Arizona game at 7, then stopping by the band thing tonight in Kelley, and then I'll probably head over to the $5 prom in JGG. I'm pretty pumped about the game, but I'm confident...I think Duke is better than Arizona, and we beat Duke so hey, we got a chance. But you never know...the best team doesn't always win :) I'll be gettin' my groove on later though, so it's all good...but if Kansas loses, I'll have to go into mourning for the next two days. ;-)

Dear Nick Collison,

Hi sweetie :) Just a reminder, I like white gold, not yellow.
Oh, and you'll have to ask ALL my parents. Please note: Beware of mother.
I like daisies, not roses. Picnics, not fancy restaurants. Zoos, ballets, concerts, plays and art museums, not movie theaters.
Camping, not hotels. You can have a sports car, too, if you want. The mini van can wait. :)

Love,
Amanda

Agenda for the day:

9:50 pm Kansas vs. Duke

and, just a side note....

Watch Notre Dame LOSE MISERABLY.

Well folks, I'm super tired. But being busy does have its ups...

Yesterday's Schedule:
6:00 am Wake up, get ready, dress nice, eat oatmeal for breakfast
6:45 am Leave for work
7:00-9:00 Work at Before/After School Program
9:05 Return to Lighthouse
9:10 Pack an orange and a fruit bar to eat in case of starvation.
9:15 Leave for The Learning Center Kindergarten/Preschool in Zanesville
9:45 Arrive at the Learning Center (I didn't get lost!)
9:45-2:30 Observe, play, read, watch piano lessons, read thousands of books out loud, made Easter decorations, watched children eat lunch
2:30 Leave The Learning Center
2:35 Stop at McDonald's, order french fries and double cheeseburger (successfully made it through a drive thru, 4th time in my life using those weird speaker things...I hate those speakers...usually go inside).
2:40 Leave McDonald's for the Salvation Army in Cambridge
3:10 Arrive in Cambridge
3:12 Stop at Yard Sale and ask, "Do you know where the Salvation Army is?"
3:15 Stop at License Bureau and ask, "Do you know where the Salvation Army is?"
3:17 Find Salvation Army by guessing. I think to myself, "This building looks like it could be a Salvation Army."
3:17:30 Spot Lindsay pulling in parking lot.
Joy fills my heart.
3:19 Go into the Salvation Army, tutor, play Jenga with kids, turn down a taste test for yogurt with the excuse, "I'm lactose intolerant." (I think to myself, "Thank God.")
5:25 Leave Salvation Army
5:38 Arrive at school, park in front of Montgomery.
5:40 Arrive at class, ten minutes late, apologizing for my tardiness.
6:00 Begin eating orange.
7:30 Excused from class one hour early.
7:40 Change into shorts and a t-shirt.
7:45 Lie in bed, stare at ceiling.
7:50 Still staring at ceiling
7:55 Do some crunches because I feel fat from the McDonald's food.
7:56 Turn on TV. Turn from Trading Spaces to ESPN. No basketball scores.
Watch American Idol instead. Not impressed.
8:15 Walk downstairs for Bible Study.
10:00 Bible Study over, get ready for bed.

Today

7:00 Alarm rings. I need to wake up in order to study for test.
7:10 Alarm rings again. I need to wake up in order to study for test.
7:20 Alarm rings again. I press sleep button once more.
7:22 Get out of bed. Go to the restroom. Walk back in room, pull out study sheet and start studying.
8:00 Shower full. No shower today. Get ready to the best of my ability without bathroom access.
8:45 Leave for elementary school. Car too far away. Walk.
9:00 Arrive at school.
9:15 Begin observing student. Write down every single thing he does for one hour.
10:15 Leave school.
10:30 Arrive at class.
11:30 Leave class, go to work.
12:30 Leave work, go to BOC.
Study for test in BOC for one hour, eat orange, peanut butter crackers, and cookies.
1:30 Class
2:15 Study for test.
2:30 Take test.
3:15 Test done, leave for Salvation Army with Lindsay
3:31 Arrive at Salvation Army.
5:20 Leave Salvation Army
5:35 Arrive at Muskingum, go to meeting for work.
6:30 Leave meeting for work.
6:38 Arrive at Lighthouse, get ID.
6:40 Talk to guys outside dining hall. Turn down opportunity to eat saurkraut and weiner schnitzel at German House.
6:41 Say hi to Susan and Wade in dining hall.
6:44 Sit with Lindsay, Leslie, Kelly, and Danielle with my lasagna and bean soup.
6:57 Leave dinner, return to the Lighthouse.
7:00-7:15 Stare at wall.
Read three chapters, type up observation of every single thing child did in observation, fill in log sheets for field experience, talk to girls, spend half an hour writing in online diary....
go to bed!

When I was little, my mom, dad and I would sometimes go visit my great uncle Pat at his cabin by the Mohican River. It's not a very nice cabin, but I think it had a screened in porch of some kind, or maybe just a little pavilion type of thing. I know the pavilion is there but I'm not sure about the porch. Anyway, for some reason, I remember it storming there. And even though it was kind of scary, it really was beautiful. The smell of the rain, the river, the grass, that damp, old cabin, the feather pillow on the lofted bed...all of it was beautiful. At the time, it was just somewhere I was because my parents took me there and it was something I did because well, I had to. I didn't have any other thoughts, there was nowhere else I wanted to be, and even though I probably shouldn't have, I felt completely safe there, in that little junky cabin, with my parents, cuddled up with a feather pillow, and most likely, one of my dad's sleeping bags (plaid on the inside, blue on the outside, always smelled the same...like a tent!)...a storm rolling outside...

At camp this summer, I slept out in the woods for a few weeks with tents full of campers, and one time a tent with just me. Now, the tent with just me was absolutely terrifying, but for the sake of this entry, I'll ignore that. There were no storms at night while at camp, thank goodness, but one of the most beautiful things is falling asleep with real wind on my face and the shadows of trees in my mind. If the last thing I could hear every night, always, before I went to sleep was crickets chirping, the last thing I saw--the moon's light creating shadows amongst the trees, and if the first thing I saw every morning was sunlight, the first thing I heard--birds chirping...wow, I think that would be rather close to Heaven. And while being out there, I should have been a little scared, at least, but I wasn't. I felt so safe. As a child, I may have felt safe because my parents were right there with me. But now I'm all "grown up," and in some cases, like at camp, I have others (like kids) that feel safe because I'm there. There's not always going to be someone to protect me, there's not always going to be someone to ask, to cry to, to talk to... When I was a kid, I had all that (think of kids who don't) right within my reach. An adult was almost always in sight to protect and provide. Who is there for me now?

Well, of course I still have my parents, my family, my friends. But, I guess after realizing that they just can't be there 24/7, realizing that others are depending on ME to protect, to provide, I've realized that wow, it's a really important job, not only because it's the "job," but people will depend on me, on you...people will put their faith, and their trust, in me, to protect and provide for them. Scary, eh? It should be terrifying, but it's not. Why? Wow, the way God makes me feel safe, protected, provided for, even when my parents and friends aren't necessarily within a 2 foot radius, is awesome. So I know I can have faith and trust in Him to protect me and provide for me, so that I can do my best at serving others, no matter what it is---Whether it's sleeping by the door of the tent, being ready for allergies with shots of epinephrine, leading the way on a dark trail, staying up when others are down....I know God can give me that strength, that confidence...

Because no one can protect and provide like God can.

Someday, I think I'll return to a place that's much like my childhood, in that cabin, with my parents, because they brought me there, sleeping in absolute peace, because there are no worries and no fears.

And someday I'll be in that place, where there's no place I'd rather be.
My thoughts will not be anywhere else.
And I'll be there because God brought me there.
And I'll feel safe, because He's my Father,
and He loves me.

I hate it when I get lectured for just speaking my mind. I know that basketball isn't everything and that it's wrong to bet on things and be money hungry, and I am well aware that I am going to Heaven, thank you very much, and that God loves me and He is the center of my life and that basketball certainly isn't, I don't need to be reminded, I only try to liven things up a bit by exagerrating my losses and being silly about it, not intending to be whiny or ungrateful for what I do have, which is a lot. So here in my diary, where I can freely express myself and say what I really think and be just as judgmental as those who lecture me rather often, I would just like to say, LIGHTEN UP! I'm just playin' you know. Some people just have to know EVERYTHING. Well, I'll have you know, I already know everything, so keep it to yourself. :)

Okay, I'm sorry. I was being silly again. I'm really not that mean :)

Besides, being totally sad about Florida's loss is a whole lot easier than being sad about the war that is constantly televised, which is a real sort of sadness that I've been casually dodging on this diary because I just don't want to write about it, although I do talk about it often. And it's a lot easier mourning for Florida than it is to mourn over other recent situations in my life, which really have no need for mourning anyway, but chatting with the guys about basketball sure is fun because I've never been able to do that before.

Okay, so in other news, God is totally awesome. I can't go into detail here, but wow, everyday He teaches me something way new and builds me up and it's like I grow closer and closer to overcoming that which has been challenging me lately. And it's like every time I open my Bible I somehow end up reading a verse that says something like "GET OVER IT!" Or, even better, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME, AMANDA? YOU'RE BEING SO STUPID!" Okay, so God doesn't really talk to me like that, but I know if I write the Bible verses in here, you won't actually read them, but that's sorta what God's been saying to me. To make a long story short, God has work for me to do. The longer I dwell on stupid things that aren't worth dwelling on, the more damage I'm bringing on myself and all that God has planned for me. I ain't goin' out like that.

And if you really are interested, check out Romans chapters 1 and 2.

Grace and peace and love to all of you!

Go Kansas!

Nothing compares to the anger and frustration that I feel right now as Florida is sucking beyond all suckage and is now out of the bracket which I picked as the number 2 team, stupid me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Florida, I had faith in you. I will never again visit your state. It sucks anyway. I think I'm going to cry. Grrrrrrrrr! And you know what Central Michigan? I'm never visiting you, either. Notre Dame, I don't like you either and I will never watch Rudy again. When I am poor and homeless, I'm suing all of you because you just lost me like a hundred bucks.

So, it turns out that I am like, totally winning in the basketball brackets thing. Am I awesome or what? I totally predicted UConn beating whatever team it was they beat. But Notre Dame? What's up with you? You guys suck. Illinois was supposed to win. You better lose next time. Kansas, you guys are awesome. I really must have a sixth sense at predicting these things. The guys at the No-Program House were making fun of me and girls for picking teams based on their colors and mascots. My argument was: "I didn't even know the colors OR the mascots of ANY of the teams when I picked them. So there!" Hmmm. I think I deducted 95 brownie points off of my "cool" score with that "argument." But hey, when I'm rich, they'll be sorry.

Not to be a downer but, ummm...not having a boyfriend on the weekends is just not very fun.

Then again, having a boyfriend wasn't that great either.

Ha! What's a girl to do?

Ohmigosh Veronica, that makes me so happy that you have hallucinations too! Yes, it started when I had mono. See, when I had mono, for a long time I didn't know it was mono. I didn't know that a common thing with mono is to have weird dream-like hallucinations. I was also very depressed. I don't know if it's because my neurotransmitters were out of wack or if it's because I was sad because I was tired all the time and my cross country times were totally sucking or what, but at any rate, I was very depressed and having strange hallucinations. I don't have hallucinations now like I did then, but a couple times I thought I saw scary monkies under my covers and in my closets. It never lasted long and I realized it wasn't real, but I was really beginning to think I was schizophrenic, especially since this was about the same time I really started reading things backwards. Now reading things backwards is probably not a symptom of schizophrenia, but I was still thinking I might have some serious psychological disorder. I would also see "shadowy" things, like Veronica described, especially at night. I would be driving home from Bible study and see people or dogs lined up along the road. I told myself "It's not real, it's not real." And of course I couldn't tell anyone about it, because I figured they'd put me in an institution. Well, the backwards reading really started, I think, because I'd always done it without realizing it but also because I was so tired and bored during my cross country races (because I was running like 27's and dragging along all by myself) and practices that I had to keep my mind occupied somehow.

So I was just at the track meet and stupid Ben Gadfield wasn't there. Now I haven't seen stupid Ben Gadfield in like two years and I think it's because he's avoiding me like the plague. Stupid Ben Gadfield, I am very angry. I know I overwhelm you with how much I totally love you, but come on, gimme a break! I can't help it! So come on, stupid Ben and stop avoiding me! Going to the Carolinas for Spring Break with the track team is no excuse. I know you only really went there because you didn't want to talk to me. ;-) And what's up with you stupid Ryan Hochstetler? Can't even talk to me because your girlfriend is around? That's booty. You're so awkward about things like that. It's not like I would expect YOU to introduce me to her or anything, but in case you forgot, buddy, we've known each other since we were TWO. TWO! And we went through track and cross country and of course, our messed up, jacked up relationship together! Therefore, we have literally been through it all! Potty training, running, love, hate, etc. So don't ignore me just because your girlfriend is around!

She is cute, by the way :) Score for Ryan! Woooh! She's fast too!

Thank goodness I have Winey and Jeff to make up for you two losers! I'm glad someone remembers little Amanda at Muskingum who IS a human being!

In response to your comments, YES Jeffosterone is far worse than any osterone in the world. It never fails in making me cry or making me really, really angry. And YES Kansas IS a good pick because they are THE BEST doggone it! EVERYONE should know THAT. If you don't, then you are such a pathetic loser. I can't believe you people who don't follow your basketball stats. Sheesh.

20 hours of field experience down, 50 to go! Woohoo! I taught two lessons today that were nearly catastrophic in Amanda terms because they were not perfect. However, that was not MY fault. ;-) They went well, nonetheless, and my cooperating teacher gave me very high scores. I don't need high scores though because I'm gonna be a bomb of a teacher no matta what n-e-one says...boo yaw!

Okay, I'm done with that.

Hmmm. Campus Crusade tonight--might be fun, might be a bit challenging, but I'm up for it. Knock 'em dead, Amanda, knock 'em dead (oh no, not literally of course! Goodness me!)!

I think I got water in my ears.

I dyed my hair this reddish color lastnight. Brad said it looks "punked out." I did it for you, Beav, in honor of us. Okay, not really. But it did make me think of ya.

I'm still in a mood swing state, and quite tired actually. When I'm tired I hallucinate small rodents running around randomly. I think I need a psychiatrist. I wonder what Prozac would do to me. I think I'd be a complete nutball and no one would be my friend because I'd be sooooooo happy and freakish ALL the time, like Amanda craze times 7. At least I wouldn't turn into a JERK out of the blue for no reason like I often do. :) Speaking of JERKS,
I haven't had beef jerky in a long time. I've never really liked it, but it has an addicting flavor. I hope I don't eat any anytime soon, but if I had the opportunity, I probably would. Kind of like cupcakes.

Okay, I need to wash my hands because they smell all pineappley because of my hair gel. Ta-ta-for now!

Grace and peace <><

Besides my constant mood swings which drift from "Get-away-from-me-or-I'll-karate-chop-you" to acting totally weirdo, today's been an okay day. Five minutes from now, I'm sure I'll say it sucked, but hey, that's five minutes from now. As of this moment, I think I'm losing my mind! Seriously! Sometimes I just get all jittery and excited inside for no reason at all. Oh, and mom and JR will get a huge kick out of this. I joined in one of those basketball bracket things the guys are doing, along with Kendra and Lindsay and whoever else. And you know what? I am so excited for it all to start. I have this very competitive edge, so you can bet your bottom I'm going to be watching to make sure I'm getting my points I need to WIN. Kansas is going all the way!!!! I have no idea why I picked Kansas. I have no idea what their mascot is, their colors, or anything like that. The only thing I know about Kansas is that they have a lot of tornadoes and the capital is Topeka. They also have some Native American reservations. But I'm sure I'll learn a LOT about basketball now that I have motivation to watch it. Maybe I'll even learn some basketball player names!!! I do not know of ONE single basketball player in the NCAA. Not one! I'll have to pick a favorite. How will I go about that? Well, duh, whoever's the hottest! :) Just kidding. I'm not THAT pathetic. ;-) It's only 90% of the decision. And no, it's not about the money either. It's about ADRENALINE and my own Amandosterone, which I am pretty sure is definitely a chemical running through my veins that is far more dangerous than any male chemical in the WORLD. Which any of my relatives could probably tell you is NOT something you want to confront because, although it's not ALWAYS evil, it's pretty crazy.

Let the madness begin! Mwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, guess what? I got my ring off of my injured finger! It is healing quite nicely. I don't think it will fall off afterall. I injured it on a basketball too! Ha! How ironic!

Peace and God bless :) I love you all, and, don't worry, I really am okay.

Grrrrrrr.....

Field Experience is Stressing Me OUT!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Soooong (lalalala!) For You!!!!!!

When I watch you while you're sleeping,
When I hold you while you're dreaming,
It feels so incredible to me.
I don't know just where we're going,
I don't know what God's doing,
But something's happening to me.
It's something that risky,
It's something that scares me,
'Cause when I jump, it's going to be some kind of fall...

(sung to the tune of "row, row, row your boat." Just kidding :) Oh well.)

SOME people are so selfish. How do they sleep at night?? I don't know.

Hi :) I've decided to just not worry about school and all this homework stuff. My main concern right now is getting my field experience hours in, which will be much easier now that I have a car (THANKS MOM!!!!). But my main concern is spending time with friends :) Because they make me happy and school work does NOT! :) I've been sleeping every chance I get. I don't know if that flu bug is still eating me or if sleeping is just a whole lot easier than thinking. I think it's a bit of both. I just got back from dinner and I actually ate more than a few bites. Go me! I'm a little worried about completing my field experience hours and getting my Pathwise lesson in and seeing all the speakers I need to see, but I'm figuring those things will all work out. If they don't, I can just blame all those stinkin' snow days we've had around here. So those are things that were on my mind today. I'm sure you liked hearing about it. Hehehehe :-)

I talked to one of my profs today about the Africa trip and told her I've decided that I definitely, definitely want to do it and definitely want to go. I'm trying to fanagle a way to get Muskingum to pay the 300 dollar application fee. I certainly do not have 300 dollars. Next thing to fanagle? Getting them to pay for all my immunizations. Hopefully my "sweet" voice will do its wonders on that one. Perhaps I could get them to pay for a camera. And film.

I've decided to meet an African prince or nice missionary guy while I'm there. Maybe I'll end up marrying an African. That would be so weird! I don't know though, that would be hard, I think. Cultural differences can run deep, you know. My mom would really freak if I lived in Africa and all her grandbabies were half a world away. Well, I'm just being silly anyway. We all know I'll be living with my cat and a porcelain lawn collection till the day I die. ;-) Can you imagine me being an African princess? I bet the country would be a little agitated, me not being African and all. Maybe not. I hear they're pretty accepting. I don't even know if they have royalty anywhere over there. I saw in a children's book that they do, but I don't know. I hope that if I do marry an African, though, that he's circumcised. But if he's not, I won't make him do it, because that is really horrible. I don't know what the big deal is, but it's one of those "cultural" things that I think I'd have a hard time with.

hehehehe. Sorry, just trying to humor it up a bit :)

Okaaaaaay! Out with that and in with good, happy things now!

MuskieFest was AWESOME! One of my top ten favorite things in the world is Jr. High ministry and this was just rockin. The kids were great, the speaking was great, the bands were great (especially Faded Me, check out their website at FadedMe.com...they are AMAZING guys!!!), the games were great, the crafts were great, everything was great! The only bad thing is that I really hurt my finger playing "Knockout" (basketball game) and now my finger is really swollen, got some busted capillaries, some bruising, and all that...and my ring is stuck on my finger and probably cutting off the circulation. I don't know what to do, but icing isn't helping. Hmmm. But even THAT is pretty cool because I never get injured and injuries make me feel tough! The flu symptoms are going away bit by bit and I am way excited at what God has in store for me, like tomorrow, and tonight, and next week and next year....! Eeek! It's just cool. I feel very "freed up" which is a very good feeling, only I wish I could spend every waking moment with Susan, Lindsay, Kendra, and Sharon and for some reason that just isn't possible! And Kate, you are way awesome too, and I am MAD that you are on THE DARK SIDE! Ohhh and Creno's pizza is soo good! I wanted to eat nine pieces but I could only do three (very small square/strip pieces). I'm still not back into the whole "eating" process yet. The good thing is that I've lost five pounds. Yay for the flu, man! Did more for me than working out for two months! :)

Okay, I'm off. Read Philippians 3. It's a good one.

Grace and LOVE <><

Let me just say that I am so thankful for guy friends as well. (The other day I mentioned girl friends). Despite the fact that every single guy I date and probably ever will date is or will be a complete moron, at least I have great guy friends who remind me that there's always someTHING better, there's always someONE better, and that I am a likeable, loveable person. (Not that I ever doubted my lovableness :) When a girl has been schisted and pooped on in the most horrible, horribly painful ways, there's nothing better than being surrounded by people who love her. They don't fill the void...they overflow it a million times seven with love that is totally Christ. I don't know why God decides every once in awhile to remind me that (SOME) people cannot be trusted and betrayal lies behind every freakin corner, but I think if there's one thing I get out of this, it's that the Lord has blessed me with friends that are no less than amazing...and yes, even some that I CAN and KNOW I can trust. I feel like in this situation right now, I should definitely NOT be okay because it is NOT a cool situation but totally by the grace of God, somehow I am okay, and actually, pretty great, despite some anger and bitterness and complete lack of understanding as to why, why, why some people are so stupid....sigh....but that's beside the point, and I'm working and praying about those angry/bitter/misunderstanding feelings. Anger is hardly ever good, and I think that 80 percent of my anger is not good, so I admit that, I am at fault in many ways for feeling that way, only because I am human, I think, and because I do have feelings and a heart (despite what some people must think). I just want to plead with you, people, not to hurt others by breaking their trust. It is the worst, it must be the absolute worse sort of way to hurt someone. Why didn't they just gouge out my eyeballs or something? I don't know. It'd be much less painful, and much quicker. Anyway, thank God for friends! And thank God for His love because it's the BEST!

I am pretty excited because we think we might just have up to or over 100 people total at MuskieFest. This is very exciting, but I do hope my headache, stuffy nose, sore throat, and cough go away. I feel miserable physically but mentally man, I am there. I am SO there! I think my whole head is just filled with mucus. Pretty soon I think it's gonna bust outta my forehead. I'm gonna go lay down for a bit...

...there was no use stopping now. It felt like she might be falling, only she was falling with a noose around her neck and hoping someone would catch her. She was trusting that someone would catch her. And if not? No, no, no. She had not even begun to jump. It was time--it was almost time to jump. And she was scared.

Part of her knew, just knew that she would surely die. And another part of her said,
-Just trust me.

But there was no one to trust.

Well, boys suck once again...why do I kid myself? Thank goodness for girl friends :)

Well, I have decided not to return to school today because I had a temperature of 102 earlier but I think I'm getting better. Now my temperature is 98.4. Sara is still stick, my apple pie was ruined, and I nearly killed our dog lastnight because he's a pain. :)

Okay, bye!

Hi :) I'm home right now babysitting for two days. On the agenda: Spaghetti for dinner, making apple pie and cupcakes tomorrow morning, and spending quality time with the sibs. However, I'm feeling quite under the weather with waves of nausea, little Sara came home from school sick with some kind of fly and she's vomiting everywhere, the DOG is even throwing up in random places around the house, and Jordan's been feeling ucky, so I wouldn't be surprised if he came home sick, too! Sad, huh? My little Sara is out like a light. I'm going to go now...the dog is heaving up something...!

I love you all!

Today was just an emotional rollercoaster. I have no idea why, but for some reason God gave women the gift of emotional instability and blessed me with a double dose.

So, I was watching this show, Third Rock from the Sun, which I’m sure normal people have seen before, but I really haven’t, and it was the doggone funniest thing I’d seen in a long time.

List of Things from Today:

1. WalMart for two hours is not fun when it’s Sunday after church, you can’t find anything you need, you don’t have a list, and people always walk on the left side instead of the right. STUPID!

2. WalMart for two hours is not a good place to go after an awesome two hours at church. I was feeling so spiritually uplifted and as the minutes ticked away at WalMart, my headache just got worse and worse and worse and....

3. God does not answer prayer on our time schedule. And I am in no way frustrated with that.

4. It is nearly impossible to be humble.

5. To be humble is to be “overcome” by the Father.

6. I saw How to Get Rid of a Guy in Ten Days and came home feeling all weird and wishing I had roses.

7. Then I got mad at myself for thinking stupid things like that.

8. Our stupid dog has a serious oral fixation.

9. If that dog doesn’t leave my cat alone I’m going to wire his mouth shut and glue him to the roof.

10 He’s so cute when he’s sleeping, though! And it’s so nice when he’s calm and cuddly!

I have been tempted to write a nice, long letter to the editor of our town newspaper lately about how horrible our community is at supporting our schools. I am so disgusted by the City of Orrville and their stupid "logic" of how schools should be run and how they should perform. But you know what? I can't even write to the editor of our newspaper because oh yes, we don't have one. A town with almost 9,000 people doesn't have a normal newspaper. A town with 9,000 people where 50 percent of them think junior high sports should be done away with. Are you a bunch of idiots or what? Maybe you should go back to high school (if you graduated) and learn about how kids who are involved are kids who succeed, are less likely to be involved in drugs, alcohol, and other stupid things like that. Maybe you should learn that hands-on experiences are priceless, trips to museums and experiences with the arts (museums, plays, musicals) are a necessity, not a luxery. I would think these things would be common sense. Anyone with a brain would know these things, I don't have to give you statistics. "Get your grades up!" People keep saying, and they'll support the schools more. Well, are you aware that Orrville, with a rather diverse population of recent immigrants from Laos and other such places, with students in lower socioeconomic status, and other factors, are being compared to schools like Smithville, which is mostly middle class, all white students and Wooster, which is a huge school that offers tons of classes and extracurriculars, is a college town, far less diverse, etc. etc. Our scores compared to these schools are obviously going to be lower. But despite that, our scores can be higher if our stupid, stupid, stupid community would support the schools. The teachers are bad, too, they say...well what the heck kind of good teacher would want to teach in a school like that? I am disgusted by my hometown. And teachers keep having affairs with students. Sick. Don't move there.

I got my girl scout cookies!!!! Yahooooo!

Busy week busy week! Don't be surprised if I don't write in here much.

Prayer Requests:

I am being Pathwise observed on Thursday. Pray that my teacher/observer scores me well...she's never done it before so she'll probably be either really tough or fairly easy (she's pretty picky, so I'm thinking she'll be tough).

I am interviewing a family in Senecaville on Thursday evening. Pray that I can find the house (yes, pray a lot about that, if you know me well, you know I'll most likely get lost on the way back). I have to interview the family on things about their child who has a disability...and I'm not altogether comfortable with that, since it seems like I'm being awfully nosy. So pray that the family is understanding and that I feel comfortable, and that the family benefits from this interview more than I do...and doesn't feel like I am intruding.

Also, pray about MuskieFest. It's almost here and...well, I don't feel very "ready."

Pray for me and Lindsay's trip to Aruba on Thursday. If the choir is going to NY, we're going somewhere even cooler! Hotter, I mean. :) AND We are going to drink MARTINIS all week because BASKETBALL is over! ;-) See, Linds? It's not so bad ;-) We are also going to wear string bikinis and pick up hot guys in speedo-s. Okay, maybe not. That's gross. Muskingum College Concert Choir (some of you, you know who you are): You will be in our hearts! We will send you a nice postcard to ucky, snowy, cold, dirty New York City!

Oh, and guess what? I found my way back from Wendy's all by myself yesterday by sheer knowledge, and I have backed into about 3 parking spaces, including parallel parking along a street by backing in, and I just wrote the first check of my life to join that honorary! See, I am self-sufficient. I just got a slow start :)

I Do Not Dream of You

I breathe, I breathe, I breathe
And do not dream of you.
The bronzed doves bask beneath
Hot coils of endless sky.

I dream, I dream, I dream
Of what must be up there.
So many try to discover.
I stay here.
I wait, I wait, I wait
And do not dream of you.

The paper box companies are selling
Their foods, the drugs are multiplying.
I should do the same. I think on that.

I change my mind.

I still think of more for us
Because I am never satisfied.

I sigh, I sigh, I sigh.

And I do not dream of you.

I know it’s all right because
I do dream
Of what must be up there.

Too scared, I am, so scared
To say I do, to discover.

I stay here.
I wait, I wait, I wait.

Jeff, I really hope that you have not gained that much weight. Please tell me you are joking.

I haven't studied this much since freshman year! I just spent eight hours designing a unit of only 5 lessons and an awfully long annotated bibliography that our professor said would be "easy." Yeah. I think I spent about two hours cleaning the kitchen today as well, but it was a welcome break from all the work I was doing. I had a list of ten things to do this morning at 10 am and I have gotten seven of them done. Yippee! I know you don't care, but I like to just talk about what I have to do and what I don't have to do because it kind of reinforces it in my mind.

I am so amazed that I actually worked today. I don't think I've really done that at all this semester. I've pretty much just been "flyin' by the seat of my pants." I'm not sure if that is the right context, but I feel like I was. Tomorrow I get to go visit Max, my partially adopted son (Dr. Nutt's cat). While I'm there I'll have a chance to jam to some Gershwin and walk around the house feeling very intellectual and elegant at the same time, because that's how his house makes me feel. I like their red dining room, I like the Rip Van Winkle book that sits on the tiny table that was published in the 1800's (original, perhaps? ooooh!) and I like the piano that I can pretend someone is playing while the CD player knocks out those notes like an invisible--yet exhilerating--presence of some kind that just resonates throughout the house. An invisible man, maybe? Ah, the best kind...

;-)

I think Dr. Nutt's house is right up there with the bathroom in the basement of Brown Chapel. You may not remember that entry. I will refresh your memory.

November 22, 2002

My favorite restroom in all the world resides in the basement of Brown Chapel. It is always empty, although very spacious, and lined with Romanesque mirrors. It’s like a restroom for a hundred stage performers that have drifted from existence, left in complete solitude. The room is dimly lit, which softens the features of the reflections seen in the mirrors. I sauntered into this restroom lastnight and there I was, my own reflection, in this window before me. I smiled and suddenly, something hit me (in my mind it hit me, not physically…it wasn’t a baseball or anything). I have changed. That was it. I looked at myself and realized that I look older—not better, not worse, just older. I liked what I saw—to see that I have changed from what and who I was and to know that I am continually changing.